There is a general belief that loneliness and aloneness are the same. But, in actual there is a marked difference between the two. Loneliness is felt due to the dissatisfaction with the quality of one’s current relationships and it is a desire to develop good, intimate relationships, which becomes unable to attain. It is more of an unpleasant state. Aloneness, on the other hand, is a lack of friendships. The individual does not have any friends or may not desire to be in long-lasting relationships.
Loneliness is basically of two types – state loneliness and trait loneliness. State loneliness is temporary and depends on the situation that the person is involved in. For example, a person might go to a new place and not be very familiar with it or a person might take up a new job. In such a situation, an individual might initially feel lonely, but build good relationships later. Trait loneliness is more stable and enduring. The inherent traits of the person become a cause for his/her loneliness, which needless to say is a miserable condition. The situation does not make any difference to a person with trait loneliness. He/she will feel lonely in a familiar as well as an unfamiliar situation.
It is possible that an individual who experiences state loneliness too often might develop trait loneliness. This may happen, if a person does not stay or live at one place for a long period of time. For instance, a young boy or girl, due to various reasons, might have to study in many different schools. The same may happen to a person who has a transferable job or has work that requires him/her to travel a lot. Such an individual might not be able to build intimate relationships, for obvious reasons. This happening regularly will habituate him/her to feel lonely. Thus, state loneliness may develop into trait loneliness.
A lonely individual is melancholic. If loneliness is prolonged and it persists for a longer period of time, then this melancholy is exacerbated. This leads to behaviour patterns that might seem to be weird and eccentric to others, which in turn, may lead to social rejection. For example, an individual, due to the feeling of extreme loneliness, knowingly or unknowingly, might get into self-pity and try to gain sympathy. The person may also behave in an indifferent manner to seek attention. Such kind of behaviour might not be liked by many of his/her peers and might lead to shunning the individual. The person gets into a precarious situation, where he/she is unable to build new relationships and also drives away the current ones. All this happens only during extreme loneliness and not otherwise. This, therefore, results into social isolation. The initial stages of social isolation mark the beginning of aloneness. In this way, loneliness, especially trait loneliness, becomes a harbinger to aloneness.
Although social isolation may be the beginning of aloneness, it does not really mean that the person becomes socially withdrawn. The person might not socialize very much with people, but still be socially active, which on the whole is very different from being socially withdrawn or detached.
A person might also deliberately prefer aloneness. But this decision is also influenced by prolonged loneliness and earlier dissatisfaction in relationships. Therefore, a personal choice of aloneness is also caused by experiencing extreme loneliness.
Here, I would like to state that aloneness should not be used interchangeably with solitude. Solitude may be a very temporary phase that may last for a few minutes, hours, or a few days. Solitude has very little to do with defining the personality of the individual and is, most of the times, preferred by the individual. However, aloneness is a more permanent phase and has a lot to do in defining the personality of the individual. After being in a solitary state for a while, the person may go back to being in his normal state, i.e. the way he/she usually behaves. However, this is not the case with aloneness.
Aloneness can be both good and bad. Aloneness can be seen in two ways – negative state of aloneness and positive state of aloneness. In aloneness, if a person gets into severe depression, experiences low self-esteem, and feels a certain kind of worthlessness, then this comprises of the negative state of aloneness. The individual in this state diminishes his/her abilities and is unable to recognize his/her positive attributes. If this persists, the person might even develop suicidal tendencies.
On the other hand, an individual might also take aloneness as an opportunity to enhance himself/herself. The person might set up new challenges for himself/herself, he/she might enhance his/her abilities, and sharpen his/her skills. The person gets an opportunity to know himself/herself in a much better way and thus, gets to recognize his/her true abilities. All this comprises the positive state of aloneness. In this state, the individual builds in self-confidence, increases his/her self-esteem, and develops a certain kind of self-belief within himself/herself. For instance, a person, during aloneness, might get into activities that require a lot of creativity. The person might get into extensive reading and increase his/her knowledge as well as develop new insights. A person might also suddenly discover an urge to write and might get a lot of success in doing so. The person might enjoy the state of aloneness. In all, a completely new kind of person emerges through. In this way, aloneness can be a good thing.
Positive state of aloneness is not a continuity of negative state of aloneness. Both of them are not related and may not be experienced by the same person. Who gets into the negative state of aloneness and who gets into the positive state of aloneness depends solely on the individual.
Therefore, loneliness and aloneness, though being different, are very much related to each other. Aloneness can be said to be the next stage of loneliness. In other words, loneliness is a harbinger to aloneness. But unlike loneliness, aloneness may not necessarily be a miserable or sad condition.
Loneliness is basically of two types – state loneliness and trait loneliness. State loneliness is temporary and depends on the situation that the person is involved in. For example, a person might go to a new place and not be very familiar with it or a person might take up a new job. In such a situation, an individual might initially feel lonely, but build good relationships later. Trait loneliness is more stable and enduring. The inherent traits of the person become a cause for his/her loneliness, which needless to say is a miserable condition. The situation does not make any difference to a person with trait loneliness. He/she will feel lonely in a familiar as well as an unfamiliar situation.
It is possible that an individual who experiences state loneliness too often might develop trait loneliness. This may happen, if a person does not stay or live at one place for a long period of time. For instance, a young boy or girl, due to various reasons, might have to study in many different schools. The same may happen to a person who has a transferable job or has work that requires him/her to travel a lot. Such an individual might not be able to build intimate relationships, for obvious reasons. This happening regularly will habituate him/her to feel lonely. Thus, state loneliness may develop into trait loneliness.
A lonely individual is melancholic. If loneliness is prolonged and it persists for a longer period of time, then this melancholy is exacerbated. This leads to behaviour patterns that might seem to be weird and eccentric to others, which in turn, may lead to social rejection. For example, an individual, due to the feeling of extreme loneliness, knowingly or unknowingly, might get into self-pity and try to gain sympathy. The person may also behave in an indifferent manner to seek attention. Such kind of behaviour might not be liked by many of his/her peers and might lead to shunning the individual. The person gets into a precarious situation, where he/she is unable to build new relationships and also drives away the current ones. All this happens only during extreme loneliness and not otherwise. This, therefore, results into social isolation. The initial stages of social isolation mark the beginning of aloneness. In this way, loneliness, especially trait loneliness, becomes a harbinger to aloneness.
Although social isolation may be the beginning of aloneness, it does not really mean that the person becomes socially withdrawn. The person might not socialize very much with people, but still be socially active, which on the whole is very different from being socially withdrawn or detached.
A person might also deliberately prefer aloneness. But this decision is also influenced by prolonged loneliness and earlier dissatisfaction in relationships. Therefore, a personal choice of aloneness is also caused by experiencing extreme loneliness.
Here, I would like to state that aloneness should not be used interchangeably with solitude. Solitude may be a very temporary phase that may last for a few minutes, hours, or a few days. Solitude has very little to do with defining the personality of the individual and is, most of the times, preferred by the individual. However, aloneness is a more permanent phase and has a lot to do in defining the personality of the individual. After being in a solitary state for a while, the person may go back to being in his normal state, i.e. the way he/she usually behaves. However, this is not the case with aloneness.
Aloneness can be both good and bad. Aloneness can be seen in two ways – negative state of aloneness and positive state of aloneness. In aloneness, if a person gets into severe depression, experiences low self-esteem, and feels a certain kind of worthlessness, then this comprises of the negative state of aloneness. The individual in this state diminishes his/her abilities and is unable to recognize his/her positive attributes. If this persists, the person might even develop suicidal tendencies.
On the other hand, an individual might also take aloneness as an opportunity to enhance himself/herself. The person might set up new challenges for himself/herself, he/she might enhance his/her abilities, and sharpen his/her skills. The person gets an opportunity to know himself/herself in a much better way and thus, gets to recognize his/her true abilities. All this comprises the positive state of aloneness. In this state, the individual builds in self-confidence, increases his/her self-esteem, and develops a certain kind of self-belief within himself/herself. For instance, a person, during aloneness, might get into activities that require a lot of creativity. The person might get into extensive reading and increase his/her knowledge as well as develop new insights. A person might also suddenly discover an urge to write and might get a lot of success in doing so. The person might enjoy the state of aloneness. In all, a completely new kind of person emerges through. In this way, aloneness can be a good thing.
Positive state of aloneness is not a continuity of negative state of aloneness. Both of them are not related and may not be experienced by the same person. Who gets into the negative state of aloneness and who gets into the positive state of aloneness depends solely on the individual.
Therefore, loneliness and aloneness, though being different, are very much related to each other. Aloneness can be said to be the next stage of loneliness. In other words, loneliness is a harbinger to aloneness. But unlike loneliness, aloneness may not necessarily be a miserable or sad condition.
PS: To read more about loneliness and related concepts, refer to my articles, When Trait and State Loneliness Come Together and Loneliness: The Role that it Plays on a Student's Academic Performance
nice writeup :)