INTROVERTS SHOULD BE LEFT BY THEMSELVES

Introverts are perhaps the most misconstrued people in this world. They are usually perceived as dull, boring, and at times arrogant. They are also, often believed to be rather dry, lackluster, and lacking in enthusiasm. For this they are at the receiving end of quite a lot of criticism and endless advice and suggestions.

This, of course, is not really what introverts are about. These are many of the misconceptions and misperceptions that usually people have about them. Such opinions held by others and their constant advices to introverts make them irritated and lead them to avoid others.

Contrary to popular belief, introversion is not only about being shy, quiet, and not being very sociable. This is true, to an extent, but this is not the only thing that is related to introversion.

According to Carl Jung, introverts orient their thoughts inwards, to their inner self. They are more concerned with their inner feelings. In other words, introverts are more self-reflective and introspective. They are highly self-involved and tend to explore their own inner thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

Compared to introverts, extraverts (extrovert and extroversion being the more common spellings) are quite the opposite. Extraverts orient themselves towards their outer world. They are less concerned about their inner feelings and are more oriented towards their surroundings rather than themselves.

Since introverts are more concerned with their inner feelings, they prefer to be self-involved rather than being in social gatherings. They like to spend a lot of time with themselves rather than being with others. This is why they have very few friends. They tend to be more focused and do not like to be distracted. Extraverts, on the other hand, being oriented towards their outer world, like to be in social gatherings and do not like to be alone.

Carl Jung also suggests that every individual has both introversion and extraversion, but one of them is dominant. In case of introverts, introversion is more dominant compared to extraversion. This means that introverts have some traits of extraversion also and though they are not very sociable, they can make the necessary adjustments when required.

If an introvert is not very sociable, it simply means that he/she does not want to be like that. But when it is required, then an introvert can become sociable, for that particular moment, though not as active as an extravert. Therefore, an introvert can be sociable, but only when he/she wants to be or has to be.

There are other reasons for why introverts are like the way they are. Hans Eyesenck gives a biological basis for introversion and extraversion. According to him, it is the biological temperament that determines whether a person is an introvert or an extravert.

Each person has a certain level of arousal within their central nervous system (specifically, in the part of the brain known as the ascending reticular activating system). Introverts have a high level of arousal. They have a low threshold for social stimulation. A low threshold for stimulation means that introverts get easily aroused by their surroundings and they do not have to go out of their way to generate a certain level of enthusiasm.

This low threshold of stimulation makes an introvert to be self-involved. Since they have a high level of arousal, being self-involved is enough for them to stimulate themselves in a highly satisfying manner.

Compared to introverts, extraverts have a very low level of arousal and a high threshold for social stimulation. This is why an extravert is very active and highly sociable. Since they have a high threshold for stimulation, they have to be outgoing and involved in many tasks to satisfy their level of arousal. In other words, they have to go out of their way to generate a certain level of enthusiasm to satisfy themselves.

The kind of excitement that an extravert may have by being with many friends and by being highly active, an introvert generates the same amount of excitement by simply reading a book or by being alone and being involved in his/her own thoughts.

Introverts, having a high level of arousal, get easily aroused and that is why they do not need to be very active and sociable. Extraverts, on the other hand, having a low level of arousal, do not get easily aroused and because of that they need to be highly active and very sociable. This is why introverts tend to be more contemplative and thoughtful and extraverts tend to be more spontaneous and impulsive.

Introverts, in the same manner, can be differentiated with people who are involved in adventure sports, who have more of a sensation seeking personality (they are not exactly like extraverts). People with a sensation seeking personality have an extremely low level of arousal. They have an extremely high threshold for social stimulation.

To satisfy their level of arousal, people with sensation seeking personality need to be involved in adventurous activities. They need to be involved in things like bungee-jumping, paragliding, or river-rafting.

An introvert does not have to do all this to satisfy their level of excitement. For them, reading a book of their interest generates the same amount of excitement that a person with a sensation seeking personality might generate by bungee-jumping.

Introverts, having a low threshold for stimulation, generally get uncomfortable in a situation that can be highly stimulating for them. For an introvert, being around with many people, being involved in too many tasks, or for that matter bungee-jumping, can be highly stimulating and too much for their comfort level. These situations do not match with their biological temperament and thus causes discomfort. This is why introverts tend to be shy and prefer to be with very few people.

In the same manner, extraverts become uncomfortable when being in a situation that is not highly stimulating for them. When alone, extraverts go out, get involved in something, and be with many friends to decrease their discomfort. Being alone and inactive does not match with their biological temperament. They become so uncomfortable in low stimulating situations that they just have to be involved in something or the other.

Carl Jung and Hans Eyesenck give a completely different picture of introversion. Their views give a better understanding of introverts. Introverts behave in a particular way because they orient their thoughts towards their inner self and have a high level of arousal.

It is not that introverts are dull and lack in enthusiasm. They are enthusiastic in their own way, which may be different from others. They get excited and generate their enthusiasm by doing different kinds of things. Those things might be boring for others but not for introverts. Similarly, the things that excite others, like being in social gatherings, do not create any kind of interest for introverts.

Rather than indulging in criticisms, there should be a respect and acknowledgment for individual differences. Introverts have their own good qualities. They are different from others, because they are simply like that. Just like others behave in a particular way, introverts also have their own way of behaving.

Introverts like to live in their own world. They like to be self-involved, are self-reflective, and prefer to be with very few people. Instead of trying to change them and making them like others (or rather like extraverts), they should be left by themselves. They are best when left to enjoy living in their own world.

LONELINESS: THE ROLE THAT IT PLAYS ON A STUDENT'S ACADEMIC PERFORMANCE

Loneliness is the unpleasant feeling of the inability to have satisfying relationships. The person desires to be in intimate, long-lasting relationships, but is unable to do so. It is an unfulfilled need for intimacy.

Loneliness is experienced by all age groups, some time or the other, but it is most prevalent among adolescents. It is also highly prevalent among children, which is not very well known.

The experience of loneliness, depending on its intensity, is very disturbing and is accompanied with many other problems or difficulties.

A person who is lonely gets the feeling of being unwanted and rejected by others. Due to this the feeling of worthlessness begins to creep in within the individual, which eventually lowers the self-esteem of that person. The person begins lose self-confidence and there is a lack of self-belief within the individual. This lack of self-belief and self-esteem has a negative affect on various aspects of the individual’s life, including his/her academic performance.

The person starts to feel that there is no use of studying and that he/she is not going to gain anything by studies. The loss in self-belief makes the student feel that studying and getting good grades will not do any good for him/her. Gradually the student begins to lose interest in studies itself. The feeling of being unwanted and rejected has a severe affect on his/her academic interests.This ultimately, and obviously, leads to a decline in the student’s academic performance.

Loneliness also leads to depression. The inability to have good relationships makes the person dejected, morose, and completely saddened. Due to all this, the depression can be so severe that at times the person may have thoughts of committing suicide.

If this persists then the severity increases and the person becomes completely helpless. A kind of suffocation begins to develop. In such a mood, the person loses interest in absolutely everything in life and studying is one of those things. In fact, studies might be the last thing that the person would like to do. If the student does not study then it is very unlikely that he/she may academically perform well.

There is also a feeling of hopelessness that begins to develop within the individual. The individual might feel that he/she is going to fail in everything that he/she indulges into. Perhaps the continuous failure of being able to develop satisfying relationships is generalized in every other aspect of the person’s life.

In such a situation even if the student wants to study, he/she does not do so. The student feels that he/she lacks the ability to learn and no matter how much he/she studies, it is not in any way going to affect the scores in the examination. This makes the student not to study, which leads him/her to perform poorly academically.

Loneliness causes problems in sleeping. The person may develop abnormal sleeping patterns. The person may either have too much or too little of sleep. Both are harmful and can have severe effects on an individual’s lifestyle.

A disturbed sleeping pattern can make the individual feel lackadaisical and phlegmatic. This leads to an inability to concentrate. The person develops a short attention span and cannot focus on anything for a longer period of time.

This lack of concentration obviously comes in between the studies of a student. The student easily gets distracted, which inhibits his/her ability to learn and may also lead to irritability. Thus, the student cannot concentrate on his/her studies and therefore has a decline in academic performance.

It is obvious that a person who is lonely does not have anybody to talk to and share his/her feelings with. This means that a lonely individual lacks social support. Social support plays a major contribution in releasing any kind of stress.

The pressure to perform well in school, comparisons with high achieving students, unrealistic expectations, all can become very stressful for a student. A good social network helps a lot in releasing this stress. A small talk with friends before an examination does a great deal in decreasing examination phobia and fear of failure.

A student who is lonely does not have such privileges. Loneliness in itself is very stressful. All the other stressors added to the stress of loneliness can prove to be fatal for the student. In severe cases, it may also lead to a nervous breakdown. A lack of social support can, thus, have a severe affect on a student’s mental health, which has a direct negative effect on his/her academic performance.

It has been found that loneliness is a major cause for absenteeism in schools. A student who is lonely might have the feeling that he/she has nobody to talk to in school. This can be quite a saddening experience. Due to this, the student does not desire to go to school and prefers to stay at home. At home, the student will at least have his/her parents and siblings.

Being absent from school does not help as it causes a lot of loss in studies. Since the student does not have any friends, he/she has little information of what he/she has missed in the classroom. It becomes difficult to catch up with the other students because they do not have anybody to help them out.

Being regularly absent not only creates a bad impression among the teachers, but it also leads to a bad performance in the classroom and other activities, loss of important information, and ultimately a poor performance in examinations.

Loneliness can be a highly unpleasant and disturbing feeling. It is highly stressful, causes depression, and leads to many other psychological problems. It has a severely negative affect on every aspect of a person’s life. In a way, it almost ruins the whole personality of an individual.

Somehow, the effect of loneliness on a student’s academic performance has been ignored for reasons unknown. Perhaps its role in academic performance is not taken as seriously as it should be.

Teachers and parents should take special care in identifying the symptoms of loneliness in children and adolescents. Performing well in school is very important for students. A good academic performance becomes the basis for many of the future prospects of a student.

Teachers in schools should always try to have a good rapport with their students, so that students do not hesitate in talking to them about their problems. Similarly, parents should always try talk to their children and discuss about all their problems and issues with them. Especially in loneliness, a simple talk can prove to be of a lot of help.

Identification of loneliness and making necessary psychological interventions will prove to be very helpful for students. It will not only enable them to excel in their academic performance, but they will also excel in many other aspects of their life, in the present as well as in their future.

If a student performs poorly in studies, it may not necessarily be that he/she lacks in intellectual abilities. It is quite possible that the major reason for a decline in a student's academic performance is loneliness.


PS: To read more on loneliness and similar concepts refer to my earlier article, Loneliness: A Harbinger To Aloneness.

NEED FOR ACHIEVEMENT AND NEED FOR AFFILIATION: THE EXTENT TO WHICH AN INDIVIDUAL MAY HAVE BOTH SIMULTANEOUSLY

Need for achievement is the desire to accomplish difficult tasks and to meet standards of excellence. Need for affiliation is the desire to be with others and have harmonious and satisfying relationships.

Both, need for achievement and need for affiliation, can be very important for any individual. They can work as a guiding force in a person’s life in many ways. A need for achievement gives an incentive to have a sense of accomplishment and a need for affiliation drives a person to be with different kind of people and have many different kinds of relationships. Both help in gaining a sense of satisfaction in their own way.

There are, of course, individual differences when it comes to both need for achievement and need for affiliation. People may be high, low, or even medium in both the needs.

People who are high on need for achievement choose tasks that are moderately difficult for them. They are persistent and do not give up till they have a sense of accomplishment. They are intrinsically motivated. They do things for a sense of pleasure and satisfaction and not for extrinsic rewards like money.

They also prefer to have accurate feedback about themselves. They are clear about their strengths and weaknesses. They attribute their performance to themselves rather than circumstances. They like to take responsibility for their success as well as their failures. They prefer to be alone or with like minded people. They also like to face challenges in their life.

People who are high on need for affiliation like to spend time with others. They like to be with others. They like to form friendships and more and more intimate relationships. They try to seek out pleasure by being in the company of others.

They have a desire for acceptance and approval from others. They have a need to be liked by others. They choose work that enables them to be with more and more people and that requires social interaction. They also tend to conform to others.

Having a look at the characteristics of people who are high on need for achievement and people who are high on need for affiliation, there seems to be quite a contrast between the two. They are seemingly opposite.

Researchers suggest that need for achievement and need for affiliation are inversely proportional in an individual. This means that if a person is high on need for achievement, then he/she is low on need for affiliation and vice versa.

This, to quite an extent, is reflected by the characteristics of both high on need for achievement and affiliation. People who are high on need for achievement are introverted and basically self-involved. They are usually aloof and prefer to be alone. They may also lack in some social skills, especially the skill of cooperation. On the other hand, people who are high on need for affiliation like to be surrounded by people. They are extroverted and highly sociable. They also seem to have good people skills. Obviously, a person cannot exactly be self-involved and sociable at the same time.

Need for achievement and need for affiliation may also quite possibly work as a hindrance for each other. They may come in between one another and thus negatively effect each other.

For a person who is high on need for achievement, the desire to affiliate may cause a distraction from his/her work and accomplishments. Likewise, for a person who is high on need for affiliation, the desire to achieve success in work may put him/her away from his close relationships.This shows that the researchers may be right and that need for achievement and need for affiliation are not only inversely proportional but they rather should be inversely proportional.

All this gives an indication that need for achievement and need for affiliation are quite unrelated. But an in-depth look at need for affiliation shows that this may not exactly be true. Among all the basic reasons for different people to affiliate, one of them is to have positive stimulation and one is to compare themselves with others.

People affiliate to have interesting and lively interactions that create some sort of positive stimulation. People who are high on need for achievement prefer to be with like-minded people. This enables them to generate positive stimulation, which suggests a desire to affiliate among people who are high on need for achievement.

People affiliate to compare themselves with others to know exactly where they belong in a particular task. This reduces uncertainty among them and they are able to get some kind of feedback about themselves.

Those who are high on need for achievement also require some feedback about themselves from time to time. This shows some kind of relation between need for achievement and need for affiliation. Thus, people who are high on need for achievement can also have a need to affiliate.

There is a lot of subjectivity when it comes to human nature. Each individual differs from the other in their own right. Everyone has their own perceptions and perspectives. The desire to accomplish difficult tasks and to meet standards of excellence are qualities of those of who have a need to achieve. Each person has their own perception of task difficulty and each person might have their own standards of excellence. In this way, a person who is high on need for affiliation might also be high on need for achievement from his/her own perception and perspective.

Need for achievement and need for affiliation are more of common social needs of humans rather than being just personality traits. Everybody, to whatever extent, has the need to achieve and affiliate. There seems to be no reason at all why an individual may not be high on both need for achievement and need for affiliation.

But, as mentioned above, one may come in the way of the other. However, this does not mean that a person cannot be high on both the needs. One of the needs may suffer because of the other or probably even both may suffer, but it does not rule out in any way that a person can be high on both.

Human beings have a tendency to act according to the situation. A person may behave in a certain way in one situation and behave differently in another situation. This makes it difficult to predict the behaviour of an individual. It is quite possible that in one situation a person can be high on need for achievement and in another situation that same person can be high on need for affiliation.

An individual overall has a number of personality traits. Usually some of them are dominant and some are not. The same can be possible when it comes to need for achievement and need for affiliation. It can be that a person is high on both, but either one of them is dominant.

For instance, in an individual need for achievement may be dominant and need for affiliation may be the subordinate. Or need for affiliation may be dominant and need for achievement may be the subordinate. Thus, a person may be high on both the needs but he/she may be a little bit higher in one them. They may not be necessarily inversely proportional. There might only be a slight difference in the degree of either one of them.

Need for achievement and need for affiliation, at first might seem to be quite unrelated. But, a closer look at the two gives a different perspective. They both can be very much related and it is quite possible that an individual may be high on both need for achievement and need for affiliation.

THE EXISTENCE OF MONSTERS AND GIANTS?

Monsters and giants have always played an important part in folklore and fiction. There has been a lot of speculation of whether some of these creatures exist in reality or not. People claiming to have witnessed some of them have aroused those speculations and have created a lot of curiosity about them. There has also been an element of fear involved in it as monsters and giants are known to be something that are dangerous and that can be harmful.

One of the most popular of such creatures that is believed to be in reality is the Bigfoot. The Bigfoot is a large, hairy half-human and half-ape like creature. It is known to be about 6 to10 feet tall, is tremendously huge, and walks upright on its legs. It is supposedly known to inhabit, mainly, in forests, in the Pacific Northwest region of North America.

There have been known to be a number of alleged interactions between humans and the Bigfoot. Many people have claimed to have seen it, which adds to the curiosity of the creature. The search for the Bigfoot has been going on for years. But all that has been found are some large footprints, some hazy pictures and videos, and endless stories about the Bigfoot.


Similar to the Bigfoot is the Yeti or the Snowman. The Yeti is known to inhabit in the Himalayan region of Nepal and Tibet. Like the Bigfoot, the Yeti is a large, furry and half-human and half-ape like creature. The Yeti is also, at times, known as the Asian version of the Bigfoot. It is almost of the same size of the Bigfoot and like the Bigfoot there have only been footprints, pictures, videos, and stories about the Yeti.

The pictures and videos of both the Bigfoot and the Yeti are highly inconclusive. There is not much that can be said about their existence on the basis of these and other evidences. Many of these evidences have been proved to be hoaxes.

But, this does not mean that the Bigfoot and the Yeti do not at all exist. Like the Bigfoot and the Yeti, there has been another creature that was known to be a myth and non-existent, until it was discovered. This creature is known as the giant squid. The giant squid is of a tremendous size, compared to the normal and smaller squids.

There have been many ancient stories about the giant squid. A number of sailors had claimed to see the giant squid, which perhaps gave rise to the legends of sea-monsters. Throughout the years all the claims of the giant squid were considered to be false and it was termed as a mythical creature.

All this was proved wrong when a few years ago a dead giant squid was found at a sea-side. Later, very recently, a number of live pictures and videos of the giant squid have been taken in its natural habitat. A giant squid has been found to be as large as 45 feet long. The giant squid is a creature that very much exists in this world.


If a giant squid can exist then there is no reason why the Bigfoot or the Yeti cannot exist. Such creatures are known to be in such habitats where there is no or very little human life. The Bigfoot and the Yeti are known to live in hilly and snowy regions, which make them very difficult to be spotted. Because they are known to inhabit in such remote areas, it becomes unlikely to get hardcore evidence about them.

Likewise, the giant squid has been living in the sea for a number of years until it was recently discovered. The sea is a gigantic water body and most of it is yet to be discovered by humans. No one knows what lies deep down beneath the sea. There may be a number of yet to be discovered and identified creatures that may be living in the sea.

Another very popular monster-like creature is the Loch Ness Monster. This is known to be a dinosaur-like monster that lives in the lake of Loch Ness in the Scottish Highlands. But, unlike the Bigfoot and the Yeti, the Loch Ness Monster seems to be very unlikely to exist. There have been very few inconclusive pictures and videos. There have also been sonar readings of it in the lake. But, all these evidences are very weak even when compared to those of the Bigfoot and the Yeti. Despite this, the Loch Ness Monster is something that is highly popular among people, which keeps on adding to its speculation.

Giants, if looked from another perspective, may not really be that mysterious kind of creatures as they seem to be. If we look properly, then there have been some well-known giants that have been openly living with humans and are not at all mysterious.

The Blue Whale is one such creature. The blue whale is the largest mammal in the world. They can be as large as 100 feet long, which is a humongous size. The anaconda is also known to be of a huge size. Usually anacondas are found to range between 20 to 25 feet long. The largest snake to be discovered is a 33 feet long python. These can also be considered as giants in their own right. The difference is that they are quite well known. So, if these giants can exist among us then there is a possibility that some of the other giants may also be existing.

There are also claims of the existence of giant anacondas. There have been sightings of anacondas that are about 35 to 40 feet long. European explorers during the discovery of South America have reported to have witnessed anacondas ranging up to as long as 50 feet. But, nothing much can be said about them.

The so-called monsters also may not exactly be the monsters that they are believed to be. It is quite possible that some people might have witnessed a unique or rare species of animal and that have been misinterpreted and given rise to the legends of dangerous monsters. In ancient times when irrationality and superstition was at its peak, many people could have spread rumours about some unknown animal and might have given its name to be a monster.

Also, out of fear a person might misinterpret any common animal to be a monster. Scientists claim that the Bigfoot and the Yeti might actually be a huge bear or a gorilla that have been misinterpreted as these unknown creatures.

Whatever it is, monsters and giants have become topics of immense interest. The more stories there are about them the more mysterious they become.

Cryptozoology is a field that studies such unknown, legendary, and non-existent creatures. It is focused in searching these creatures and knowing about them in a much better way. Cryptozoologists put in a great amount of effort to look out for such creatures, which scientists usually do not believe in. The creatures that are studied in cryptozoology are known as cryptids. Thus, the Bigfoot, the Yeti, the Loch Ness Monster, and the giant anaconda, all come under the category of criptids.

Like the giant squid, other animals like the Mountain gorilla or the mega mouth shark were once dismissed as myths but were later discovered. Such discoveries work as a big motivation for cryptozoologists and encourage them a great deal to look out for similar so-called legendary and mythical animals. These discoveries also create a lot of curiosity among the common man.

Monsters and giants are known to be mythical creatures. But, recent discoveries have shown that some of these creatures are very much a part of reality. This gives a sense of hope that one day other similar creatures may also be discovered.

It would be very intriguing if one day the most popular and the most searched of such creatures, the Bigfoot and the Yeti, are discovered. Knowing that these legendary creatures actually exist will be a subject of immense fascination and excitement. Who knows that the Bigfoot and the Yeti might be waiting out there, in some remote area, to be discovered by cryptozoologists?

INFERIORITY AND INFERIORITY COMPLEX

Each and every person has certain needs and desires, which he/she would like to fulfill. Many a times some of these needs become difficult to accomplish due to a number of reasons. This develops a sense of helplessness and makes the person feel powerless to a certain degree. When this happens, the individual is very likely to feel inferior.

This feeling of inferiority occurs in everybody, some time or the other. It is quite normal and natural to have this feeling. There is nothing wrong in it. There are times when an individual may be able to overcome the feeling of inferiority, but it may also be resurfaced once certain new needs develop.

According to Alfred Adler, the feeling of inferiority develops due to the innate human tendency of striving for superiority. Each and every individual strives for superiority. This tendency is so overwhelming that as soon as there is some obstruction that comes in between the person and his/her needs then he/she begins to feel inferior.

It is a blessing in disguise to feel inferior because in a way it can help to move forward in life. The striving for superiority makes sure that the person puts in all his/her effort and work harder to fulfill his/her needs and overcome the sense of helplessness and powerlessness. Thus, the striving for superiority causes inferiority as well as helps in overcoming it.

It is alright if there is some control over the feeling of inferiority and it occurs within a certain limit. The problem arises when it becomes too pervasive. When the feeling of inferiority occurs too often and becomes persistent, then it may lead the person to develop into inferiority complex.

Inferiority complex makes an individual feel worthless and instills within him/her a sense of hopelessness. The person begins to feel that he/she lacks certain qualities and is inferior to others with respect to those qualities. Due to an inferiority complex, the normal feelings of incompetence get exaggerated, which makes the individual feel that it is impossible to achieve goals and/or have certain abilities.

For instance, an average or below average student might try hard to score well in his/her examination. Due to his/her continuous failure in doing that he/she might feel inferior to others and think that it is impossible to compete with his/her peers, which in turn makes him/her feel worthless.

Inferiority complex may not necessarily develop in the context of specific tasks or goals. It may develop for more general or abstract things also. For example, a person might feel that he/she is not very good looking compared to others and this might become the cause for inferiority complex for that person.

Likewise, if a person is unable to make friends then that person might feel that nobody likes him/her and that he/she lacks the qualities of having good friends. Also, if a person, compared to others, is confused about his/her goals in life then he/she might begin to feel insecure and think that he/she is good for nothing. This continuous feeling can cause an inferiority complex.

Inferiority complex can become a menace for the individual and can lead to many other problems. The person might develop a feeling of inadequacy. He/she might also have disappointment, dissatisfaction, depression, fearfulness, shyness, self-pity, insecurity, loneliness, withdrawal, etc.

If inferiority complex becomes too overwhelming and lasts for a longer period of time, there is a possibility that it may engulf the person in such a strong way that it gets fabricated into superiority complex. Superiority complex is nothing but an exaggerated form of inferiority complex. When a person develops too much of inferiority complex, then it turns into superiority complex.

In superiority complex, the individual feels that a good way to overcome inferiority is to make others feel inferior and thus become superior. For this, the person might become arrogant and aggressive in his/her mannerisms. He/she might try to show off and indulge into too much of self-praise and bragging. The person might also try to bully others to gain a sense of satisfaction.

The person does all this in an effort to regain his/her lost self-worth. He/she tries to seek the attention of others and pretends to be something that he/she actually is not. The individual tries to convince and prove himself/herself as well as others that he/she is not inferior. He/she also tries to think of himself/herself as someone who is highly valuable and probably the best.

Such a person might seem to be very confident from the outside. He/she might appear to hold a very high opinion of himself/herself. But, this may not be the case in actuality. The person is just trying to hide his/her shortcomings and tries to overcome his/her excessive feelings of inferiority.

This attitude is perceived as obnoxious and rude by others. By getting into such behaviour, the person might also be making a fool out of him/her. Others begin to extremely dislike him/her and try to stay away. This further exacerbates the feeling of worthlessness within that person. It may also lead to more and more aggressive behaviour or even chronic loneliness and depression.

The best way to overcome inferiority complex, according to Adler, is compensation. If a person feels that he/she lacks in a certain ability, then that person can try to develop strength in some other ability. The individual can enhance such skills that make him/her feel good about himself/herself and develop self-confidence. In this way, the person feels that it does not matter if he/she lacks in an ability because he/she is very good in some other ability.

For instance, a person who feels that he/she is not good in studies can become good in sports. A person who feels that he/she is not good looking can become very good in studies and other intellectual tasks. A person who feels that he/she does not have a good speaking ability can develop good skills in writing or painting. In this way an individual can compensate his/her lack of ability by developing and enhancing some other ability.

Another way to overcome inferiority complex is to have a high level of self-awareness. A high level of self-awareness will enable the person to know himself/herself in a much better way. Due to this an individual can recognize his/her strengths and weaknesses and work accordingly. If the person realizes his/her strengths and true abilities, then there is no way that the person could develop an inferiority complex.

Many people become too much sensitive about what other people feel or think about them. They begin to worry a lot about how others see them. This is completely unnecessary and a waste of time. Rather than worrying about what others are thinking, it is much better to focus on what we want to do.

An individual knows himself/herself better and if he/she goes according to others then there is a possibility that the person might get into things in which he/she lacks proper ability. This may cause constant failures and eventually lead to inferiority complex.

Comparing oneself to others also does no good to the person. If a person is good in something that does not mean that another individual also has to be good in that. The individual might have his/her own strengths and should focus on that. Trying to ape others can be misguiding and lead to insecurity, which may further develop into inferiority complex.

The feeling of inferiority can be a good thing for an individual until and unless it is not exaggerated. Inferiority complex is obviously something that can cause a lot of troubles to a person.

The longer inferiority complex stays the worse it gets. Therefore, a person should do his/her best to overcome it once he/she develops it. Rather than overcoming it would be much better if an individual uses his/her thought processes in an appropriate manner and try to dissociate himself/herself from inferiority complex as much as possible.

LOVE IS LIKE ANY OTHER EMOTION

Human beings experience a number of emotions such as happiness, sadness, anger, jealousy, excitement, hatred, etc. These emotions are felt by everybody throughout the world, across different cultures.

The emotion of love (romantic love) is also something that is experienced by many people and is very common all over the world. People who are in love describe it as an amazingly satisfying feeling that gives them immense happiness. Many of those who are not in love desire to experience that feeling and wait for that one special person with whom they would want to spend their entire life.

There is this delusion of true love that some people have. They take the feeling of love as the ultimate thing in life and give it the utmost importance. Because of this they orient their whole life according to this feeling of love. They have the false belief that love lasts forever and that they can live happily with that one so-called special person for the rest of their life. This belief may not necessarily be true all the time.

Just like we fall in love, we also fall out of love. This means that love does not last forever and after a certain period of time the love that we have for a person may begin to fade away and eventually die out.

There can be a number of reasons for this. One of the reasons is boredom. Human beings always like change and dislike sameness. The qualities that a person likes about his/her lover may soon become something that is routine and run of the mill. A person might get bored with being with the same person and the same old qualities of that person that were once responsible for them to fall in love with each other. Those same qualities may also even begin to irritate that person to quite an extent. This continuing for a longer period of time leads the person to ultimately fall out of love.

It is not that once the love between two people dies out it is the end of the road for them. Things can be worked out between the two. Efforts can be made by both to recreate that magic when they initially fell in love. Due to their efforts they can once again fall in love with each other and thus try to sustain the love they had for their lover. Erich Fromm used the term “standing in love” for this. He says that more than falling in love it is standing in love that is important. This is the only way that enables love to last longer.

However, standing in love is not an easy process and is something that does not happen very often. Despite that due to the delusion of true love, even when the love between them has died out, people still prefer to be with each other. The individual tries to hang on with that person desperately because he/she believes that that is the only person in the whole world who is made for him/her. This further causes problems, both within the relationship and the individuals themselves.

There are times when the couple decides to end the relationship. But since they believed that they had found true love it becomes very difficult for them to accept it. They find it really hard to get over the break up that they had. Because of this they get into phases of depression and also begin to lose interest in many other things. This can further lead to irritability and frustration.

Trying to continue a relationship that has no future or not being able to get over a broken relationship might take the person away from the possibility of accepting other pleasurable opportunities in life. There is always a possibility to fall in love again with another person, but that may not happen if the person is preoccupied with his/her own false beliefs. In this way, the person may be unknowingly moving further away from happiness that he/she may be getting. The delusion of true love and that one special person is not going to take the person any where.

The initial feeling of attraction with another person is magnetic and pulls the person into believing that he/she is in love without even thinking whether the relationship can work or not. Attraction and liking each other is not enough to have a long lasting relationship. There are many other aspects that are involved to make a relationship work out for a longer period of time. Compatibility, the amount of time that they can spend with each other, their own goals in life, and their future prospects are some of the things that needs to be considered before finally getting committed to a relationship.

It is better to withhold ones flow of emotions, initially, before getting fully committed to the relationship. All the aspects of the future of the relationship should be analyzed properly. Once a commitment is made then it becomes too late. Before getting into the relationship, if suppose an individual comes to the conclusion that there are too many complications within the relationship and that it may not have a future then he/she can always move on. Here the person saves himself/herself from a lot of troubles, like ending up with the wrong person, by wisely making a decision that the relationship may not work out.

Besides this, there is a strong possibility that the initial feeling of love may not even be love in the first place. The tremendous flow of emotions that occur when we initially meet a person and begin to like him/her, can make us falsely believe that we are falling in love with that person. Therefore, by withholding one's emotions, initially, can also make a person buy out some time and analyze properly whether or not the feeling that he/she is developing for the other person is actually love or something else. If he/she decides that it is just a liking and not love, then the individual prevents himself/herself in making a wrong decision and thus avoids further complications.

As mentioned above, there are people, especially adolescents and young adults, who orient their whole life according the feeling of love. Their whole life is guided by this one emotion. They neglect many other important aspects of life because of their feeling of love. They are willing to do anything to be with their lover.

For instance, they even choose a career path that is suitable for their love without even thinking that a career is chosen on the basis of aptitude and interest and not on the basis of their love. Choosing a wrong career for love is obviously an absolutely unwise decision, considering the fact that the love may not even last long enough. In the long run, career matters more than love.

Due to their being in love, many people give very little importance and even devalue other relationships like friends and family. Love comes and goes away, but friends and family (especially parents and siblings) are always there. Giving more value to love can make others unhappy and may lead to moving away from them. At the time when love gets over the person might end up being all alone and then it will be too late to regret.

Thus, efforts should be made to value all relationships equally. Giving more time to love and thus neglecting others can make them feel cheated and sad. There should be such an understanding between all the relationships that a comforting atmosphere is created. Giving more importance to love compared to other relationships can become dissatisfying and extremely stressful in the long run.

There is no doubt that the feeling of love is immensely pleasurable. It is indeed highly satisfying. But this does not mean that it should be given such a lot of importance. There are many other extremely important things in life, probably much more important and satisfying.

If love is given utmost importance then it leads to a lot of stress and becomes quite problematic. It can lead to dissatisfaction, depression, and a lot of complications. Love is meant to give a lot of happiness and not make the person end up in a lot of problems and make life complicated. Therefore, giving so much of importance to it is simply of no use at all.

Love should be taken like any other emotion. It should not be considered to be something that is very special. It should not be taken so seriously that it leads to self-deterioration and other problems in life. After all love is just another emotion.

XENOGLOSSY: IS IT REALLY POSSIBLE?

Xenoglossy is the alleged speaking of a language that is entirely unknown to the individual. The person has never heard the language before but still can speak it fluently as if it were his/her native language. In other words, if a person speaks an unknown language that has not been acquired by natural means then it is known as xenoglossy.

There have been a number of well documented cases in which people have been found to have xenoglossy. So far, none of them have been proved to be accurate. Its not that those were cases of fraud, but there have not been enough evidences to completely prove them. Linguists and Psycholinguists say that until and unless they have enough evidences they cannot accept the existence of xenoglossy.

Language is a system of symbols with rules for combining them, used to communicate information. Language development is the result of a complex process involving several aspects of learning, many cognitive processes, and perhaps various genetically determined mechanisms as well. Thus, speaking a language that a person has never heard of or is not at all familiar with seems to be something that is not possible.

There are a number of different views about how language is acquired. According to the linguist Noam Chomsky, language acquisition is partly innate. This view suggests that human beings are born with a language acquisition device (LAD), which is a built-in neural system that provides them with an intuitive grasp of grammar of their native language. Chomsky says that humans are prepared to acquire language and that the language acquisition device allows children to deduce the structure of their native language by mere exposure to it.

Another view suggests that there is a critical period for language acquisition. Critical periods are time frames during which environmental exposure is required to stimulate an innate trait during early childhood. According to this view, children acquire language during this critical period. Studies show that a critical period exists, but it does not mean that adults cannot learn a language perfectly.

The social learning view of language acquisition suggests that language is acquired through a combination of learning and imitation. According to this view, children are praised and rewarded by their parents and elders for making sounds that are approximate to those of their native language. Also, parents very often model sounds, words, and sentences for their children. All these together contribute to the acquisition of language.

The Relational Frame theory based on the social learning view also suggests that language is acquired purely through the interaction with the environment. It gives emphasis to the importance of predicting and influencing psychological events, such as thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, by focusing on manipulable variables in their context. Studies supporting this view suggest that children learn language through a system of inherent reinforcements.

There are other views that suggest language acquisition is a cognitive process that emerges from the interaction of biological pressures and the environment. According to this both the environmental and biological aspects must work together in order to allow language acquisition. This view argues that general cognitive processes sub-serve language acquisition and that the end result of these processes is language-specific phenomena, like word learning and grammar acquisition.

Similar to this is Slobin’s view of language acquisition. According to him children posses certain information-processing abilities or strategies that they use in acquiring language. These are known as operating principles and seem to be present or to develop very early in life.

The last two views show that language acquisition is something that is a lot more complex than it is believed to be.

All these different views/theories of language acquisition suggest how language is acquired by children and thus may not be very apt for explaining something like xenoglossy. However, these theories also suggest that exposure to a certain language is very necessary to acquire it, which further weakens the claims of xenoglossy.

Researchers of xenoglossy say that the exhibition of the phenomenon of xenoglossy requires paranormal explanations and are beyond the usual psychological processes. So far, the explanations given for xenoglossy are reincarnation or being possessed by another soul. These explanations are themselves not very sound and are hard to believe. The phenomenon of reincarnation is a very popular area in parapsychology, but so far nothing has been proved. And being possessed by a soul sounds to be something that is quite preposterous despite its never ending claims by a number of people.

Researchers also suggest that xenoglossy might not even have an explanation. It is something like many of the other miracles that have happened throughout the existence of life. But, to accept something there has to be ample evidence for it, there has to be some kind of logic behind it, without which it may not be possible to accept the existence of xenoglossy.

However, there are many things in this world that are beyond logic and beyond any possible explanations. There are a number of paranormal and supernatural phenomena that have no explanation whatsoever. Some believe in them and some do not. Xenoglossy may also be one of those.

As mentioned above, there have been well-documented cases of xenoglossy. Most of them cannot be denied, irrespective of the explanations given for them not being good enough. All this makes it is very difficult to say that whether something like xenoglossy is possible or not.

EMOTIONAL HIJACKING: THE TRIGGER TO AN UNHEALTHY MIND

Emotional hijacking is a sudden unleashing of rage towards another person. It is an extreme emotional outburst or an emotional explosion caused by an incident that may trigger anger or fear in an individual.

Such incidents happen many a times. There are a number of situations in which a person might get angry or upset and without even thinking about anything he/she might just lose his/her cool and simply explode with emotions and attack the other person verbally or even physically. For instance, an individual might suddenly get extremely angry and begin to shout at his/her friend and even slur him/her. In an extreme case, a disgusted husband might suddenly get upset and beat up his wife badly. In more extreme cases, a person might kill another person with an outburst of anger.

Wife beating and killing a person due to emotional hijacking can be rare, but incidents of individuals quarreling with each other and in the process damaging a relationship are quite common. Such moments do not last very long, but the time that it lasts does enough damage. Most of the times, a person regrets getting into such an act.

Research shows that such emotional explosions are neural hijackings. In such a moment, a center in the limbic system (a part of the brain), the amygadala, the seat of all emotions in the brain, takes over the neocortex. The neocortex is the part of the brain that is responsible for our thinking. During this moment the neocortex stops functioning. The amygdala gets triggered and in an instant takes control of the brain, in a sense hijacking it. Thus, it is called emotional hijacking.

Emotional hijacking does not occur just like that out of no where. Usually certain past events that are disturbing to the individual keep building up resulting in the sudden emotional outburst. If a person is facing some problems for quite some time, they start playing on the mind and a moment may occur when he/she cannot take it any longer, which may result in the extreme explosion of emotions. A person may be too stressed out, or a person might be a bit angry for something that might have occurred before. In such a moment if something happens that further causes distress, then the chances of emotional hijacking to occur increase to a great extent.

Emotional hijacking takes place in an instant and by the time it gets over it can do a lot of damage to the person in many ways. If emotional hijacking keeps on occurring time and again then, it will have an immediate negative affect on the individual’s ability to have relationships as well as the quality of his/her current relationships. Emotional hijacking occurring too often in a person will give the impression to others of the individual being a loose cannon. People will begin to dislike his/her behaviour and may keep a distance from him/her. Likewise, his/her peers, friends, and others who are close to him/her may begin to dislike him/her, because nobody would like to be at the receiving end of a person’s extreme rage, especially when the person has a close relationship with them.

Emotional hijacking also creates a lot of negativity within the atmosphere. If a person due to an extreme outburst of anger shouts very loudly it has a bad affect on the mood of not only others, but also on the individual himself/herself. Such an emotional outburst is not at all good for the mental and emotional stability of the person. One incident of emotional hijacking can lead to a severe mood swing, so one can imagine what will happen if this happens very often. Such kind of behaviour will also increase the stress level of the person. In extreme cases it can cause high blood pressure and even heart problems. Therefore, emotional hijacking can have a very bad affect on a person’s mental as well as physical health.

Instead of facing the negative consequences of emotional hijacking it is much better to try to prevent it as much as possible. One way to do this is to try to reason and thus challenge the anger provoking thoughts. Emotional hijacking is more of an impulse driven reaction. The person should try to think before he/she reacts in such an aggressive manner and in a way try to hold back that impulse. He/she should try to channelize his/her thoughts to a more rationalistic way and try to bring down the level of anger. This is a very good way to counter emotional hijacking, but it is easier said than done. During an episode of emotional hijacking, a person becomes cognitively incapacitated. He/she almost loses the ability to think at that moment.

The best way to prevent emotional hijacking is to just move away from that place and go for a walk as soon as one realizes that matters can become worse. This works as a distraction from the anger provoking thoughts for the person. The person buys out some time, which helps in relaxation of thoughts and makes the individual calm down. In such a situation the left prefrontal lobe (the front-left side of the brain) of the person comes into being. When the anger provoking thoughts get distracted, the left prefrontal lobe, which is responsible for maintaining emotional balance, works as a counter mechanism towards the amygdala and dampens its affect on the brain. Thus, the person comes back to his/her normal and calm phase and is able to prevent emotional hijacking.

In situations like this, watching television or listening to music can also help in distracting one from anger provoking thoughts and thus make the individual calm down. Distraction from such thoughts also helps the person to get into a more pleasant mood. If a person goes out for a walk, he/she might find the surroundings pleasant, which will have a positive affect on the mood and make him/her happier at that moment. The same thing happens when a person begins to watch television or listens to music at that moment.

Other ways of preventing emotional hijacking is deep breathing and muscle relaxation. This helps in changing the body’s high arousal of anger to a low-arousal state. It also, in a way, works as a distraction from whatever triggered the anger.

It is very obvious that emotional hijacking is a very unpleasant phenomenon.The consequences of emotional hijacking are nothing but bad, be it on mood, relationships, or the overall health of the individual. A person should always try to be in a positive frame of mind and try to be as emotionally relaxed and calm as possible. The more positive frame of mind the person is in the more chances are that he/she will be away from emotional hijacking and the more chances are that he/she will be an emotionally healthy person.

STIGMATIZED AND MARGINALIZED

Life could have such a dark picture, I would have never realized it. About three years ago, in July 2005, I worked in a research project in which I had to interact with people who are stigmatized and marginalized.

The research project was about the self-esteem and health issues of six stigmatized groups, namely, the downtrodden, beggars, lepers, physically handicapped people, eunuchs, and widows (in some parts of India, being a widow is considered to be a taboo). I mainly had to interview the downtrodden, but later I was also assigned to interview beggars, lepers, and the physically handicapped people.

To interview the downtrodden I, with a group of people, had to go to the slums. I had never seen a place like this before. It was a totally different experience for me. Wherever I could take my eyesight, I could only see trash spread all over the place. My first reaction was that how could people live in such a dirty place. Within a few minutes of staying there, I could realize the extreme level of their poverty.

Their destituteness was clearly reflected in their behaviour. They were extremely needy and always expected to be helped by the people who are financially better than them and also who are on the upper strata of the society.

When I interacted with them initially, they thought I was a government official who had come to help them with some funds. When they realized that I had come for my own personal benefit and that I am not going to be of any help to them, some of them reacted with a lot of aggression. Despite that I, somehow, made them agree to give interviews. Initially they were a bit calm, but later I believe they got offended by some of my questions and got extremely angry. Some of them abused me with the foulest of languages. Once, if I had not left at the right time, I would have definitely been beaten up by the people over there.

I had also gone to the snake charmers society. I was shocked to see the conditions in which they lived. It is hard to express in words, the kind of condition they were living in. The whole ambience was quite frightening. They were all drunk and because of that their eyes became red. They were extremely loud in their behaviour. When I first went there, all of a sudden there was havoc created. When I sat down, I do not know why they all surrounded me and kept staring at me. One of the snake charmers tried to snatch my money and was extremely abusive in his use of language.

However, I was not at all offended by this kind of behaviour. Their behaviour clearly showed the kind of anger they had towards the society and the kind of frustration they had with their own miserable condition.

They lived in extremely dirty places with trash spread all over the place. They did not have clean water to drink. They used water from drains, ditches, and nullahs. They did not even have proper houses to live. They stayed in small tents made of recycled plastic. Inside the tents it is really congested and dark. Spending just ten minutes inside the tents became suffocating for me. The snake charmers lived in even worse conditions. They stayed under a bridge and the place was so dirty that one would feel like to vomit. It is not possible to believe that they actually lived over there.

Although some of the downtrodden behaved quite aggressively, many of them were very cooperative. They were happy to lend a helping hand and contribute in their own way to the study. They gave a detailed account of how they are mistreated by others and how they are looked down upon by other people in the society. They said that government officials and even NGOs always promise to help them, but they do not do anything at all. They also told that many a times the government announces funds to be given to them, but none of those funds reach them.

Most of them said that they are always abused and even beaten up by others and that they cannot do anything about that. They said that many a times people make them do a lot of work, but do not give any money to them in return. When I asked a young rickshaw-puller about how often has he been treated like an animal, he smiled embarrassingly and said that it happens all the time. The way he said those words really touched my heart. These people have been continuously humiliated and abused by others. It would not be an overstatement to say that their life is a living hell.

Interviewing the beggars was a big challenge, initially. It took me a lot effort to make some of them comprehend, properly, the questions that I asked. Probably their living conditions had made them incapable of having such a conversation. Like the downtrodden, the beggars also had always been humiliated by others. They told that they are always abused and at times even beaten up for very trivial matters.

The beggars used to gather at a place where they get food and other necessities from others. But, the people used to give them such things just for name sake. Usually people give beggars raw rice and pulses, but the manner in which they gave such things is extremely humiliating and disorderly. They give a fistful of either rice or pulses to each beggar. Rather than giving it to them properly and humanly, they just throw it while standing and do not even bother if it is falling in their bowl or its falling on the ground. Usually, most of it used to fall on the ground.

I was asking one of the beggars about the kind of food that he gets to eat. Immediately at the same time a woman came and threw some rice to him, out of which about three-fourth fell outside his bowl. He smiled and said that this is the kind of food that he gets.

It was nice to see a totally different side of beggars. Interacting with them made me realize that they are like any other individual. They also have families and they are also worried about the future of their children. Like any other person, they also have some unfulfilled dreams. Some of them were even cracking jokes with me. All this was something that I had never realized before about beggars.

Interacting with the physically handicapped people was a good learning experience. The way they led their life is really inspiring. They had accepted their disability without any complaints. They had a lot of self-belief and positive thinking within themselves and did not let their disability deter them in any way.

They said that they felt happy if people genuinely helped them, but did not like anybody to sympathize with their condition. They also disliked to be labeled as physically handicapped. They said that they do not really like the term and do not think of themselves as handicapped. They also said that due their disability they have to face a lot of struggle in their life, but they are prepared to fight it out even if it requires them to do so for the rest of their life.

While asking questions about their disability, I could clearly see their facial expression change to that of being a bit of disgust. I had to tell them that these are routine questions and that they should not take it in a bad way. I also apologized to them for hurting their feelings unintentionally. I felt bad when one of them said to me that my questions have made him realize that he is a physically handicapped person. But, on the whole they appreciated our (me and my colleagues) effort and felt happy for our concern towards them.

If interacting with the physically handicapped was inspiring, then interacting with the lepers was very disturbing and depressing. I had gone to a Christian Missionary hospital to interview the lepers. It was really sad to see the lepers suffering from the excruciating pain they had due to their disease. Their pain was so unbearable that almost every where, in the hospital, I could hear the patients moaning and crying.

Some of them said that they have been abandoned by their family and that nobody comes to see them. They said that now the hospital has become their home. All the lepers that I spoke to said that the pain, due to their illness, was so unbearable that they were eagerly waiting to die. Among all the patients that I talked to, I remember one of them, who was probably in his worst condition. Both his hands were infected and a lot of water was pouring out from his eyes. He could not even wipe the water that was coming out from his eyes. I could clearly see the kind of discomfort that he was going through because of this. As mentioned above, talking to the lepers was a very disturbing experience for me. I was truly badly affected by this experience for many days after.

The whole experience of interviewing the four different kind of stigmatized and marginalized people was a big eye opener for me. I always knew that such people existed. But, actually interacting with them and spending time with them was something different. I became more sensitive towards them. I could understand them in a better way and got a lot of awareness about their needs as well as the various problems that they face.

It has been more than three years now, since I worked in that research project. But, I still remember each and every detail of the happenings of that time. The anger and frustration of the downtrodden, the helplessness of the beggars, the struggle and fighting spirit of the physically handicapped, and the unbearable pain of the lepers, everything is still very clear in my mind. The whole impact that this had on me has changed me as a person to a great extent.

THE IDEAL SCHOOL ENVIRONMENT: BUILDING SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL COMPETENCE IN STUDENTS

A school is a place where children and adolescents have their initial education and academic learning. It is, indeed, the place where a child receives his/her first formal education. The initial stages of life of an individual are spent in a school. A child, usually, enters school at the age of five and stays there till the age of seventeen or eighteen. This means each person begins his/her school-life at early childhood and ends it at late adolescence. Thus, the time spent by an individual in school is known to be the most critical phase of human development.

The main aim of a school is to provide education and train students for academic achievement and build their intellectual ability. The environment outside the school premises is completely different from what it is inside. A school is known for its protectiveness and discipline. An individual spends so much of his/her early as well as critical life in school that it can become difficult for him/her when he/she passes out of school and steps into the unpredictable and somewhat unsafe environment that exists outside the school.

This gives an indication that apart from focusing on academic achievement, schools should also give a lot of importance to the social and emotional competence of students in order to make him/her cope and adjust to the stressful life and deal with varied life situations once he/she moves out of school and enters to face the unpredictable world. Social and emotional competence refers to the capacity to recognize and manage emotions, solve problems effectively, and establish and maintain positive relationships with others.

Learning of social and emotional competence should be in-built within the curriculum of the school so that each and every student is able to have maximum advantage from it and by the time he/she completes school, grows into a person who is fully secure as far as personal growth and adjustment is concerned. Social and emotional competence will also be very helpful for students to overcome many of the psychological and emotional problems that they face during their time in school.

Some schools categorize students in different sections in each standard (grade) according to the academic ability and/or the intelligence quotient (IQ) of the students to develop a sense of competition and to enhance their academic achievement. Instead of this it would be much better to categorize students in different sections according to their personalities rather than academic performance or IQ. It would be much more beneficial if students with similar personalities are kept together in one section. For instance, all introverts in one section and all extroverts in the other section. Likewise, students with a high need for affiliation can be put in one section and students with low need for affiliation in the other section, etc.

This will be a very good platform to encourage healthy interaction between students. Students with similar personalities will obviously gel very well with each other and will have many common needs and interests to share among each other. Once they mix-up well among each other and thus develop good communication skills, the students can later be gradually moved in and interchanged with students of different personalities to develop a much more healthy interaction and also build the ability to interact with different kinds of people.

This will also be very helpful for many students in overcoming the problems of the feeling of being left out and being unwanted, which is known to be quite common in schools. A school is a place where students meet different fellow students and get to know each other and develop friendships. The students also form small or large groups according to their needs and interests. But, unfortunately, some students do not find themselves to be a part of any group and develop feelings of worthlessness and low self-esteem causing them to feel unwanted. This will obviously not happen if students are made to interact with other students who have similar personalities.

Therefore, keeping students with similar personalities together in one section will be very good in enhancing the emotional wellbeing of the students that will contribute in a major way in building the social and emotional competence of the students.

Schools should also hold training sessions to train students in building their Emotional Intelligence and Social Intelligence. Emotional Intelligence is the ability to use our emotions in a rational and intelligent manner. It is the ability or capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships and use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions. It is about expressing our emotions in the right way, at the right moment, in the right proportion, for the right reason, and towards the right object. Emotional Intelligence involves knowing one’s emotions, managing emotions, motivating oneself, recognizing and understanding emotions in others, and handling relationships.

Social Intelligence is the ability to act wisely in human relationships. It is the level of mastery of the particular cluster of knowledge and skills relevant to interpersonal situations. Social Intelligence involves the cognitive skills and attentional control to be empathetic, sensitive, influential, inspiring, compassionate, exciting, humorous, charming, etc. in interpersonal situations. In a way Social Intelligence is quite similar to Emotional Intelligence. The difference between the two is that Emotional Intelligence is related to more varied life situations, whereas Social Intelligence is related to only interpersonal relationships.

Emotional and Social Intelligence are very useful in enhancing the overall personality of an individual. They can be very useful in diverse life situations and provide a lot of help in the social adjustment of individuals. Thus, the skills of Emotional Intelligence and Social Intelligence will obviously be of a lot of significance for students, especially if learnt from an earlier age.

Students should be discouraged in getting involved in social comparisons and the school authorities should play a big part in this. When individuals evaluate themselves by comparing them to others, then it is known as social comparison. Students generally have a habit of comparing themselves with others. This should be strictly discouraged, because each student is unique in their own way. Each student has his/her own unique strengths and abilities and they should be made to believe in them and have confidence in them.

Social comparison is an incorrect and inadequate way of evaluating oneself. When students compare themselves to others, then it can give them a negative picture about themselves. This may create some kind of confusion among the students and lead them to evaluate themselves as someone who is unworthy and may develop the feelings of inferiority complex.

A student may not be good in a certain aspect compared to the other student, but that does not mean that there is something wrong with that student. That student obviously may have some kind of ability in which he/she is extremely efficient or has the potential to be so. Students should be encouraged to believe in themselves, have their own way of thinking, use their unique abilities to move forward in life, and create their own identity rather than comparing themselves with others.

Students should be made to build a positive and high self-esteem. Self-esteem is known as the self-worth and self-evaluation of an individual. It is perhaps the most important attitude that an individual has about himself/herself. It depends on the opinion of others as well as how one perceives specific experiences. Self-esteem is a very important aspect of an individual’s personality and depending on its degree (high or low) can affect an individual’s life in many ways.

A high self-esteem has a lot of benefits and plays a big role in adjustment, emotional stability, optimism, and goal attainment. A person with high self-esteem perceives himself/herself as better, more capable, and of greater worth than does someone with low self-esteem. A high self-esteem can make student’s realize their real potential and accordingly set goals in life. It helps in developing their own interests and build-in confidence and self-belief about their abilities and about the goals that they have set for themselves.

It also makes them understand the true meaning of success and failure. Success and failure depends on what an individual gives importance to. If a student is aware about the things that are important to him/her, then he/she will use their potential in a proper manner and try to become more and more competent in things that he/she values. All this tells a lot about the significance of having a high self-esteem and this is why schools should take special care in increasing the self-esteem of students.

In schools, students should be helped to enhance their creativity. They should be encouraged to use and develop their own creative ideas. Creativity is the ability to produce something that is novel as well as useful and appropriate. The enhancement of creativity in a student can help him/her to identify their own interests and real potentials.

Creativity may not be necessarily confined to a particular task. Being creative can also be helpful in many other aspects of everyday life. A student may like to do things in his/her own unique and creative style depending on his/her own comfort level and satisfaction. Rather than forcing students to follow the old conventional style of doing particular things, it will be much better if he/she is allowed to do things on his/her own way, which in turn will make it interesting for him/her and will also lead to enhancing his/her abilities.

Creativity can also be helpful in using decision making and problem solving, regarding various aspects of one’s life, in an appropriate manner. Rather than making the same stereotypical decisions, a student may use his/her creativity and make decisions that suit him/her. In this way, a student can make important as well as appropriate decisions of his/her life regarding his/her career as well as other facets of life. Thus, creativity can be a very important factor in a student’s life and rather than being curbed, should be enhanced and encouraged among students.

There is no doubt that academic achievement and intellectual ability are very important aspects of students’ life. However, social and emotional competence enables students to use that academic and intellectual ability in an appropriate manner. There is no use of having good academic and intellectual abilities without being able to apply them appropriately.

On the other hand, students with limited academic and intellectual abilities can achieve a lot more if they have a strong social and emotional competence. Due to their social and emotional competence, they have a realization of their strengths and weaknesses and have the ability to use it pertinently throughout life. This may not really be possible with being limited to only academic and intellectual abilities.

The skills of social and emotional competence are very useful and helpful in adjustment, coping with stress, realization of real abilities and interests, goal attainment, emotional wellbeing, and satisfaction in life. Such benefits cannot be provided by academic and intellectual abilities and this is where social and emotional competence score over them. In fact, research shows that most of the times social and emotional competence is much more important than academic and intellectual abilities and is more helpful in achieving success and happiness in life.

Learning of any kind is most affective at the time of childhood and adolescence. This is why schools should take up the responsibility in providing the learning of social and emotional competence. Also, learning of such skills at an early age will train them perfectly to use it effectively in the later stages of life, when such skills will be needed the most.

A curriculum comprising of learning of academic and intellectual abilities as well as social and emotional competence is the true sense of education. When such learning is provided, in a school, to all of its students like any other form of education, then it will enable to build the ideal school environment.