CHANGE SHOULD NOT BE FORCIBLE

People have their own unique charecteristics and their own way to behave. There is no set rule or norm in which a person has to behave. Despite this, the society, many a times, finds some behaviours and charcteristics of people to be appropriate and some to be inappropriate or unappreciable.

For instance, there are people who are shy, do not have very good people skills, and may lack to a certain amount in having effective communication skills. These people behave in such a way, because this is the way they are. They have had their own upbringing, socialization, and their own kind of experiences, which has led them to behave in such a way. In short, this the way they are.

It is true that they behave in the way that they are. However, there are situations in which a person is required to behave in a certain way. In some situations they may have to be bold and upfront. They may be required to take the initiative and get noticed. Since they lack the skills to behave appropriately in such situations, they may feel inadequate and miserable, and therefore get noticed for the wrong reasons.

Such behaviour is usually unappreciable by the so-called society and getting noticed for that particular behaviour raises concerns for such people. If the society does not appreciate a certain kind of behaviour, they may either shun that person or expect them and want them to change. This requirement of change is most of the time forced or imposed on the individual, especially by his/her near and dear ones.

Change, over here, would require the person to be bold, cheerful, influential, etc. There is no doubt that such behaviour is highly appreciable by the society. Given an opportunity, almost everyone would want to be like this. Nobody would like to feel inadequate in social situations.

But, people who are on the other extreme, cannot help it. As mentioned above, they behave in such a way because that is the way they are. In the same way, a person who is bold, cheerful, etc. behaves in such a way because that is the way he/she is.

Nevertheless, feeling inadequate in ceratin situations and letting it be, is not any kind of solution. This will further complicate things for the person concerned. Therefore, for a healthy adjustment and positive subjective wellbeing, change is required.

Change is a natural process. The results are best if it happens naturally. Forcing a person to change does not in any way prove to be fruitful for that person. The person himself/herself is not satisfied in feeling inadequate in social situations. The feeling of inadequacy, day by day, just gets to the individual. Somewhere, deep down inside, the individual himself/herself wants to change in order to come out of that negativity.

On the other hand, when the individual is pressurized by peers, friends, family, and others it brings about a kind of resistance within that person. Nobody wants to be forced and pressurized or being pushed by others. Thus, the voluntary desire to change becomes a resistance and stubbornness of not to change.

When the individual is forced, time and again, the resistance and stubbornness keeps on increasing. The person is already not being appreciated by the society; this overt resistance strengthens the abhorrence of others. The resistance of the individual and the increased abhorrence by others may become too much for the person. Gradually, the individual becomes overpowered by the negativity that surrounds him/her.

Rather than forcing the person to change, he/she should be given the opportunity to bring about that change himself/herself. The individual has gone through his/her own experiences that make the person that he/she is. The person should be allowed to have more and more experiences that may naturally bring about the change that is required.

Change is a recurring process. It is one of the basic requirements of human nature. When the need comes, there always must be a change. As long as the change is natural, it is beneficial for an individual. The moment the change is imposed on the person, it creates an unhealthy resistance.

Change should always be natural. A change that is forced is absolutely unnatural and unhealthy. It only brings about strong resistance, negativity, and maladjustment. It may further lead to faulty behaviour patterns within the individual. Therefore, change should not be forcible.

WHEN TRAIT AND STATE LONELINESS COME TOGETHER

Loneliness can be broadly classified in two ways – state loneliness and trait loneliness. State loneliness is temporary and lasts for a short period of time. It largely depends on the situation that the person is in. Trait loneliness is stable and enduring. It does not have anything to do with the situation. It occurs irrespective of the kind of situation that the person is in.

State loneliness usually occurs when a person moves to a new place, like the person might move to a new city to work or to study. The individual does not know anybody in the new place and finds the whole place to be quite unfamiliar. This situation makes the person feel lonely. But, as the person spends time over there, he/she gradually becomes accustomed to the place, meets different people, and makes new friends. In this way, the person, after some time, overcomes his/her loneliness.

However, this is not the case with trait loneliness. In trait loneliness, the inherent traits of the person make him/her feel lonely. The traits of the person become the cause of his/her loneliness. For a person who has trait loneliness, the situation does not really matter. The person feels lonely even if he/she is in a familiar place. Familiarity of people and place has no or little affect on such individual’s loneliness and thus, their loneliness remains stable and lasts for a much longer period of time.

Trait loneliness is a cause of concern. It leads to many other psychological problems, such as depression, and if remained unchecked, it becomes difficult to control its severity, which can prove to be extremely fatal. State loneliness, on the other hand, is quite a common phenomenon. But, despite the fact that it is common and lasts for a short period of time, it is still troublesome for the little time that it lasts.

There are times when a person with trait loneliness comes into a situation that is not familiar to him/her. For instance, a person with trait loneliness moves out to a new place. Loneliness in any form is painful, though it might differ according to the kind of loneliness. So, when trait loneliness interacts with state loneliness then it becomes highly problematic for the individual.

When both trait and state loneliness come together, they mutually affect each other. They both get intertwined in such a way that one becomes the cause of the other and one enhances the severity of the other. This whole condition gives rise to a new highly complicated condition, which means more and more trouble for the individual. This new condition can be termed as state-trait loneliness.

Usually state loneliness gets over after a person gets well accustomed in a new place. But, for a person who has trait loneliness, adjusting to a new place does not come easily. A person with trait loneliness has a number of social skills problems that obstruct him/her to familiarize himself/herself in a new place. For instance, the individual is shy and has social anxiety. This causes the person to face adjustment problems. Such a person feels left out in familiar situations, so one can imagine what the person goes through if he/she is in an unfamiliar situation.

In a way, it can be said that trait loneliness prolongs the time period of state loneliness. The same state loneliness that gets over within a few days or weeks for others is prolonged almost indefinitely for a person with trait loneliness.

Since state loneliness is prolonged, it increases the troubles for the individual. This further has a negative affect on trait loneliness. The characteristics related to trait loneliness, like melancholy, shyness, being socially anxious, depression, etc. get intensified. Trait loneliness becomes more and more exacerbated.

This whole condition causes the person to lose complete interest in all activities, both personally as well as socially. The individual begins to suffer from state anhedonia. Anhedonia is the total loss of interest in activities and an inability to experience pleasure, even from normal pleasurable activities. It makes the person face a great level of boredom. State anhedonia is the same, the difference being that it is only a temporary condition. But, nobody knows for how long that temporary condition will last. It may last for a couple of months or even longer.

The characteristics that always caused trouble for a person with trait loneliness get intensified and are coupled with state anhedonia. In all, the person with state-trait loneliness is in a completely miserable condition. It becomes very difficult for the person to come out from such a situation.

The only solution for such a person, apart from professional help, is that the person should get involved in such activities that have certain fixed schedules. In such activities the person will have to follow certain norms that will automatically require him/her to stick to those schedules. It will obviously be difficult initially, but a fixed schedule will be quite helpful.

Following a fixed schedule will make the person be actively involved in something or the other. If this happens for a long time then it may help the person in overcoming from state anhedonia. Overcoming from state anhedonia will further help in decreasing the severity of state loneliness. This will at least help the individual to try to come out from the condition of state-trait loneliness.

After a while when the person finally overcomes state loneliness, gets accustomed in the new environment, and gradually begins to like his/her surroundings, it may even help in decreasing the severity of trait loneliness to some extent, if not completely overcoming it.

Of course all this is not that simple. Nothing much can be said about how long the whole process will take.

Trait and state loneliness are, both, troublesome in their own way. Both have there own kind of problems. When trait and state loneliness come together, these problems are intensified and both enhance the severity of each other, which leads to a highly complicated and problematic condition. Coming out of this condition seems to be extremely difficult.




PS: To read more about loneliness and related issues kindly refer to my earlier articles, Loneliness: A Harbinger To Aloneness and Loneliness: The Role That It Plays On A Student's Academic Performance

BORN TO BE SAD

Happiness is something that is desired by all. But, for some people that happiness becomes very difficult to achieve. No matter how happy they would like to feel, they are, most of the times, overpowered by the emotion of sadness.

For some people, sadness may occur without any reason. They are sad for no reason at all. This is because their brain and neural circuitry is developed in such a way that most of the times they are sad. Their brain is developed in such a way right from birth or very nearly from birth. Thus, in a way, it can be said that they born like this. They are sad, because this is the way they are.

The developments of brain imaging techniques in studying the brain have helped a lot in understanding such behaviour. Recent studies have found that sadness is associated with reciprocal increases in activation of limbic areas (brain areas responsible for emotions) and decreases in activation of frontal cortical areas (brain areas responsible for many cognitive and motor abilities). People who are melancholic have been found to have relatively greater levels of brain activity in their right frontal lobe (the front-right side of the brain). They experience negativity and sour moods. They are also easily fazed by the difficulties of life.



Research shows that the brains of depressed individuals look different from those who are not depressed. (Depression is not exactly sadness, but sadness is one of the major symptoms of depression. There are many other things related to depression).

People with depression seem to have brain abnormalities. Depressed people have a reduced volume in the frontal lobe (front side of the brain), the hippocampus, and the basal ganglia, all of which are brain regions that are involved in mood regulation. Research also shows that people who are depressed have lower levels of brain activity in the left frontal lobe (the front-left side of the brain) and higher on the right frontal lobe (the front-right side of the brain) compared to those who are not depressed.



Depression is also caused by a number of hormonal imbalances as well as imbalances in the level of some neurotransmitters (chemicals in the brain that the brain cells use to communicate). Studies indicate that depression is due to a malfunction of the hypothalamus, a part in the brain known to regulate mood. The hypothalamus produces many hormones. A malfunction in the hypothalamus causes an abnormality in the production of those hormones, which leads to a person being depressed.

Depressed people often have an abnormally low thyroid hormone levels. They also have enlarged pituitary and adrenal glands. Depressed people also have abnormalities in the neurons of the hypothalamus. Depression is also caused by low levels of the neurotransmitters, known as norepinephrine and serotonin, in the brain.

Apart from that, depression is also known to be genetic. People who have a family history of depression have a higher risk to be depressed compared to those individuals who do not.

Although some individuals develop these brain abnormalities right from birth or very nearly from birth, it does not necessarily mean that it will remain the same throughout life. A proper upbringing, socialization, and the right kind of environment may lead to changes within the patterns of the brain and make such individuals like any other person.

The sub-field of neuroscience known as neuroplasticity suggests that the brain can reorganize itself by forming new neural networks and thus changing the brain structure and neural circuitry in response to new situations and changes in the environment. The new, emerging area of social-neuroscience suggests that proper interactions and healthy and satisfying relationships help in changing the whole brain structure, which leads the person to develop a positive attitude towards life.

However, this is not as simple as it may sound. People born with such brain abnormalities are highly vulnerable to stress and are extremely sensitive to even the slightest of disturbing situations. They get easily hurt and perturbed. Due to their high level of sensitivity, they get easily upset and are often misunderstood by others. This also, many a times, makes them unable to enjoy social situations as they would have really liked to do so. All this makes them to struggle really hard to be happy. Because of this, they have to put in a lot of effort to gain happiness. This also leads such people to deal with many other mental health problems.

Such people obviously require medication, psychotherapy, and social-skills training. But, this comes at a much later stage. Before that they need a lot of social and emotional support from friends and family. They need to be handled with a lot of patience and care.

Nobody in this world wants to be sad. Everybody wants to lead a happy and highly satisfying life. But, for some people this becomes very difficult. Happiness, for them, becomes almost unattainable. This is because some people are just born to be sad.

INTROVERTS SHOULD BE LEFT BY THEMSELVES

Introverts are perhaps the most misconstrued people in this world. They are usually perceived as dull, boring, and at times arrogant. They are also, often believed to be rather dry, lackluster, and lacking in enthusiasm. For this they are at the receiving end of quite a lot of criticism and endless advice and suggestions.

This, of course, is not really what introverts are about. These are many of the misconceptions and misperceptions that usually people have about them. Such opinions held by others and their constant advices to introverts make them irritated and lead them to avoid others.

Contrary to popular belief, introversion is not only about being shy, quiet, and not being very sociable. This is true, to an extent, but this is not the only thing that is related to introversion.

According to Carl Jung, introverts orient their thoughts inwards, to their inner self. They are more concerned with their inner feelings. In other words, introverts are more self-reflective and introspective. They are highly self-involved and tend to explore their own inner thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

Compared to introverts, extraverts (extrovert and extroversion being the more common spellings) are quite the opposite. Extraverts orient themselves towards their outer world. They are less concerned about their inner feelings and are more oriented towards their surroundings rather than themselves.

Since introverts are more concerned with their inner feelings, they prefer to be self-involved rather than being in social gatherings. They like to spend a lot of time with themselves rather than being with others. This is why they have very few friends. They tend to be more focused and do not like to be distracted. Extraverts, on the other hand, being oriented towards their outer world, like to be in social gatherings and do not like to be alone.

Carl Jung also suggests that every individual has both introversion and extraversion, but one of them is dominant. In case of introverts, introversion is more dominant compared to extraversion. This means that introverts have some traits of extraversion also and though they are not very sociable, they can make the necessary adjustments when required.

If an introvert is not very sociable, it simply means that he/she does not want to be like that. But when it is required, then an introvert can become sociable, for that particular moment, though not as active as an extravert. Therefore, an introvert can be sociable, but only when he/she wants to be or has to be.

There are other reasons for why introverts are like the way they are. Hans Eyesenck gives a biological basis for introversion and extraversion. According to him, it is the biological temperament that determines whether a person is an introvert or an extravert.

Each person has a certain level of arousal within their central nervous system (specifically, in the part of the brain known as the ascending reticular activating system). Introverts have a high level of arousal. They have a low threshold for social stimulation. A low threshold for stimulation means that introverts get easily aroused by their surroundings and they do not have to go out of their way to generate a certain level of enthusiasm.

This low threshold of stimulation makes an introvert to be self-involved. Since they have a high level of arousal, being self-involved is enough for them to stimulate themselves in a highly satisfying manner.

Compared to introverts, extraverts have a very low level of arousal and a high threshold for social stimulation. This is why an extravert is very active and highly sociable. Since they have a high threshold for stimulation, they have to be outgoing and involved in many tasks to satisfy their level of arousal. In other words, they have to go out of their way to generate a certain level of enthusiasm to satisfy themselves.

The kind of excitement that an extravert may have by being with many friends and by being highly active, an introvert generates the same amount of excitement by simply reading a book or by being alone and being involved in his/her own thoughts.

Introverts, having a high level of arousal, get easily aroused and that is why they do not need to be very active and sociable. Extraverts, on the other hand, having a low level of arousal, do not get easily aroused and because of that they need to be highly active and very sociable. This is why introverts tend to be more contemplative and thoughtful and extraverts tend to be more spontaneous and impulsive.

Introverts, in the same manner, can be differentiated with people who are involved in adventure sports, who have more of a sensation seeking personality (they are not exactly like extraverts). People with a sensation seeking personality have an extremely low level of arousal. They have an extremely high threshold for social stimulation.

To satisfy their level of arousal, people with sensation seeking personality need to be involved in adventurous activities. They need to be involved in things like bungee-jumping, paragliding, or river-rafting.

An introvert does not have to do all this to satisfy their level of excitement. For them, reading a book of their interest generates the same amount of excitement that a person with a sensation seeking personality might generate by bungee-jumping.

Introverts, having a low threshold for stimulation, generally get uncomfortable in a situation that can be highly stimulating for them. For an introvert, being around with many people, being involved in too many tasks, or for that matter bungee-jumping, can be highly stimulating and too much for their comfort level. These situations do not match with their biological temperament and thus causes discomfort. This is why introverts tend to be shy and prefer to be with very few people.

In the same manner, extraverts become uncomfortable when being in a situation that is not highly stimulating for them. When alone, extraverts go out, get involved in something, and be with many friends to decrease their discomfort. Being alone and inactive does not match with their biological temperament. They become so uncomfortable in low stimulating situations that they just have to be involved in something or the other.

Carl Jung and Hans Eyesenck give a completely different picture of introversion. Their views give a better understanding of introverts. Introverts behave in a particular way because they orient their thoughts towards their inner self and have a high level of arousal.

It is not that introverts are dull and lack in enthusiasm. They are enthusiastic in their own way, which may be different from others. They get excited and generate their enthusiasm by doing different kinds of things. Those things might be boring for others but not for introverts. Similarly, the things that excite others, like being in social gatherings, do not create any kind of interest for introverts.

Rather than indulging in criticisms, there should be a respect and acknowledgment for individual differences. Introverts have their own good qualities. They are different from others, because they are simply like that. Just like others behave in a particular way, introverts also have their own way of behaving.

Introverts like to live in their own world. They like to be self-involved, are self-reflective, and prefer to be with very few people. Instead of trying to change them and making them like others (or rather like extraverts), they should be left by themselves. They are best when left to enjoy living in their own world.

LONELINESS: THE ROLE THAT IT PLAYS ON A STUDENT'S ACADEMIC PERFORMANCE

Loneliness is the unpleasant feeling of the inability to have satisfying relationships. The person desires to be in intimate, long-lasting relationships, but is unable to do so. It is an unfulfilled need for intimacy.

Loneliness is experienced by all age groups, some time or the other, but it is most prevalent among adolescents. It is also highly prevalent among children, which is not very well known.

The experience of loneliness, depending on its intensity, is very disturbing and is accompanied with many other problems or difficulties.

A person who is lonely gets the feeling of being unwanted and rejected by others. Due to this the feeling of worthlessness begins to creep in within the individual, which eventually lowers the self-esteem of that person. The person begins lose self-confidence and there is a lack of self-belief within the individual. This lack of self-belief and self-esteem has a negative affect on various aspects of the individual’s life, including his/her academic performance.

The person starts to feel that there is no use of studying and that he/she is not going to gain anything by studies. The loss in self-belief makes the student feel that studying and getting good grades will not do any good for him/her. Gradually the student begins to lose interest in studies itself. The feeling of being unwanted and rejected has a severe affect on his/her academic interests.This ultimately, and obviously, leads to a decline in the student’s academic performance.

Loneliness also leads to depression. The inability to have good relationships makes the person dejected, morose, and completely saddened. Due to all this, the depression can be so severe that at times the person may have thoughts of committing suicide.

If this persists then the severity increases and the person becomes completely helpless. A kind of suffocation begins to develop. In such a mood, the person loses interest in absolutely everything in life and studying is one of those things. In fact, studies might be the last thing that the person would like to do. If the student does not study then it is very unlikely that he/she may academically perform well.

There is also a feeling of hopelessness that begins to develop within the individual. The individual might feel that he/she is going to fail in everything that he/she indulges into. Perhaps the continuous failure of being able to develop satisfying relationships is generalized in every other aspect of the person’s life.

In such a situation even if the student wants to study, he/she does not do so. The student feels that he/she lacks the ability to learn and no matter how much he/she studies, it is not in any way going to affect the scores in the examination. This makes the student not to study, which leads him/her to perform poorly academically.

Loneliness causes problems in sleeping. The person may develop abnormal sleeping patterns. The person may either have too much or too little of sleep. Both are harmful and can have severe effects on an individual’s lifestyle.

A disturbed sleeping pattern can make the individual feel lackadaisical and phlegmatic. This leads to an inability to concentrate. The person develops a short attention span and cannot focus on anything for a longer period of time.

This lack of concentration obviously comes in between the studies of a student. The student easily gets distracted, which inhibits his/her ability to learn and may also lead to irritability. Thus, the student cannot concentrate on his/her studies and therefore has a decline in academic performance.

It is obvious that a person who is lonely does not have anybody to talk to and share his/her feelings with. This means that a lonely individual lacks social support. Social support plays a major contribution in releasing any kind of stress.

The pressure to perform well in school, comparisons with high achieving students, unrealistic expectations, all can become very stressful for a student. A good social network helps a lot in releasing this stress. A small talk with friends before an examination does a great deal in decreasing examination phobia and fear of failure.

A student who is lonely does not have such privileges. Loneliness in itself is very stressful. All the other stressors added to the stress of loneliness can prove to be fatal for the student. In severe cases, it may also lead to a nervous breakdown. A lack of social support can, thus, have a severe affect on a student’s mental health, which has a direct negative effect on his/her academic performance.

It has been found that loneliness is a major cause for absenteeism in schools. A student who is lonely might have the feeling that he/she has nobody to talk to in school. This can be quite a saddening experience. Due to this, the student does not desire to go to school and prefers to stay at home. At home, the student will at least have his/her parents and siblings.

Being absent from school does not help as it causes a lot of loss in studies. Since the student does not have any friends, he/she has little information of what he/she has missed in the classroom. It becomes difficult to catch up with the other students because they do not have anybody to help them out.

Being regularly absent not only creates a bad impression among the teachers, but it also leads to a bad performance in the classroom and other activities, loss of important information, and ultimately a poor performance in examinations.

Loneliness can be a highly unpleasant and disturbing feeling. It is highly stressful, causes depression, and leads to many other psychological problems. It has a severely negative affect on every aspect of a person’s life. In a way, it almost ruins the whole personality of an individual.

Somehow, the effect of loneliness on a student’s academic performance has been ignored for reasons unknown. Perhaps its role in academic performance is not taken as seriously as it should be.

Teachers and parents should take special care in identifying the symptoms of loneliness in children and adolescents. Performing well in school is very important for students. A good academic performance becomes the basis for many of the future prospects of a student.

Teachers in schools should always try to have a good rapport with their students, so that students do not hesitate in talking to them about their problems. Similarly, parents should always try talk to their children and discuss about all their problems and issues with them. Especially in loneliness, a simple talk can prove to be of a lot of help.

Identification of loneliness and making necessary psychological interventions will prove to be very helpful for students. It will not only enable them to excel in their academic performance, but they will also excel in many other aspects of their life, in the present as well as in their future.

If a student performs poorly in studies, it may not necessarily be that he/she lacks in intellectual abilities. It is quite possible that the major reason for a decline in a student's academic performance is loneliness.


PS: To read more on loneliness and similar concepts refer to my earlier article, Loneliness: A Harbinger To Aloneness.

NEED FOR ACHIEVEMENT AND NEED FOR AFFILIATION: THE EXTENT TO WHICH AN INDIVIDUAL MAY HAVE BOTH SIMULTANEOUSLY

Need for achievement is the desire to accomplish difficult tasks and to meet standards of excellence. Need for affiliation is the desire to be with others and have harmonious and satisfying relationships.

Both, need for achievement and need for affiliation, can be very important for any individual. They can work as a guiding force in a person’s life in many ways. A need for achievement gives an incentive to have a sense of accomplishment and a need for affiliation drives a person to be with different kind of people and have many different kinds of relationships. Both help in gaining a sense of satisfaction in their own way.

There are, of course, individual differences when it comes to both need for achievement and need for affiliation. People may be high, low, or even medium in both the needs.

People who are high on need for achievement choose tasks that are moderately difficult for them. They are persistent and do not give up till they have a sense of accomplishment. They are intrinsically motivated. They do things for a sense of pleasure and satisfaction and not for extrinsic rewards like money.

They also prefer to have accurate feedback about themselves. They are clear about their strengths and weaknesses. They attribute their performance to themselves rather than circumstances. They like to take responsibility for their success as well as their failures. They prefer to be alone or with like minded people. They also like to face challenges in their life.

People who are high on need for affiliation like to spend time with others. They like to be with others. They like to form friendships and more and more intimate relationships. They try to seek out pleasure by being in the company of others.

They have a desire for acceptance and approval from others. They have a need to be liked by others. They choose work that enables them to be with more and more people and that requires social interaction. They also tend to conform to others.

Having a look at the characteristics of people who are high on need for achievement and people who are high on need for affiliation, there seems to be quite a contrast between the two. They are seemingly opposite.

Researchers suggest that need for achievement and need for affiliation are inversely proportional in an individual. This means that if a person is high on need for achievement, then he/she is low on need for affiliation and vice versa.

This, to quite an extent, is reflected by the characteristics of both high on need for achievement and affiliation. People who are high on need for achievement are introverted and basically self-involved. They are usually aloof and prefer to be alone. They may also lack in some social skills, especially the skill of cooperation. On the other hand, people who are high on need for affiliation like to be surrounded by people. They are extroverted and highly sociable. They also seem to have good people skills. Obviously, a person cannot exactly be self-involved and sociable at the same time.

Need for achievement and need for affiliation may also quite possibly work as a hindrance for each other. They may come in between one another and thus negatively effect each other.

For a person who is high on need for achievement, the desire to affiliate may cause a distraction from his/her work and accomplishments. Likewise, for a person who is high on need for affiliation, the desire to achieve success in work may put him/her away from his close relationships.This shows that the researchers may be right and that need for achievement and need for affiliation are not only inversely proportional but they rather should be inversely proportional.

All this gives an indication that need for achievement and need for affiliation are quite unrelated. But an in-depth look at need for affiliation shows that this may not exactly be true. Among all the basic reasons for different people to affiliate, one of them is to have positive stimulation and one is to compare themselves with others.

People affiliate to have interesting and lively interactions that create some sort of positive stimulation. People who are high on need for achievement prefer to be with like-minded people. This enables them to generate positive stimulation, which suggests a desire to affiliate among people who are high on need for achievement.

People affiliate to compare themselves with others to know exactly where they belong in a particular task. This reduces uncertainty among them and they are able to get some kind of feedback about themselves.

Those who are high on need for achievement also require some feedback about themselves from time to time. This shows some kind of relation between need for achievement and need for affiliation. Thus, people who are high on need for achievement can also have a need to affiliate.

There is a lot of subjectivity when it comes to human nature. Each individual differs from the other in their own right. Everyone has their own perceptions and perspectives. The desire to accomplish difficult tasks and to meet standards of excellence are qualities of those of who have a need to achieve. Each person has their own perception of task difficulty and each person might have their own standards of excellence. In this way, a person who is high on need for affiliation might also be high on need for achievement from his/her own perception and perspective.

Need for achievement and need for affiliation are more of common social needs of humans rather than being just personality traits. Everybody, to whatever extent, has the need to achieve and affiliate. There seems to be no reason at all why an individual may not be high on both need for achievement and need for affiliation.

But, as mentioned above, one may come in the way of the other. However, this does not mean that a person cannot be high on both the needs. One of the needs may suffer because of the other or probably even both may suffer, but it does not rule out in any way that a person can be high on both.

Human beings have a tendency to act according to the situation. A person may behave in a certain way in one situation and behave differently in another situation. This makes it difficult to predict the behaviour of an individual. It is quite possible that in one situation a person can be high on need for achievement and in another situation that same person can be high on need for affiliation.

An individual overall has a number of personality traits. Usually some of them are dominant and some are not. The same can be possible when it comes to need for achievement and need for affiliation. It can be that a person is high on both, but either one of them is dominant.

For instance, in an individual need for achievement may be dominant and need for affiliation may be the subordinate. Or need for affiliation may be dominant and need for achievement may be the subordinate. Thus, a person may be high on both the needs but he/she may be a little bit higher in one them. They may not be necessarily inversely proportional. There might only be a slight difference in the degree of either one of them.

Need for achievement and need for affiliation, at first might seem to be quite unrelated. But, a closer look at the two gives a different perspective. They both can be very much related and it is quite possible that an individual may be high on both need for achievement and need for affiliation.

THE EXISTENCE OF MONSTERS AND GIANTS?

Monsters and giants have always played an important part in folklore and fiction. There has been a lot of speculation of whether some of these creatures exist in reality or not. People claiming to have witnessed some of them have aroused those speculations and have created a lot of curiosity about them. There has also been an element of fear involved in it as monsters and giants are known to be something that are dangerous and that can be harmful.

One of the most popular of such creatures that is believed to be in reality is the Bigfoot. The Bigfoot is a large, hairy half-human and half-ape like creature. It is known to be about 6 to10 feet tall, is tremendously huge, and walks upright on its legs. It is supposedly known to inhabit, mainly, in forests, in the Pacific Northwest region of North America.

There have been known to be a number of alleged interactions between humans and the Bigfoot. Many people have claimed to have seen it, which adds to the curiosity of the creature. The search for the Bigfoot has been going on for years. But all that has been found are some large footprints, some hazy pictures and videos, and endless stories about the Bigfoot.


Similar to the Bigfoot is the Yeti or the Snowman. The Yeti is known to inhabit in the Himalayan region of Nepal and Tibet. Like the Bigfoot, the Yeti is a large, furry and half-human and half-ape like creature. The Yeti is also, at times, known as the Asian version of the Bigfoot. It is almost of the same size of the Bigfoot and like the Bigfoot there have only been footprints, pictures, videos, and stories about the Yeti.

The pictures and videos of both the Bigfoot and the Yeti are highly inconclusive. There is not much that can be said about their existence on the basis of these and other evidences. Many of these evidences have been proved to be hoaxes.

But, this does not mean that the Bigfoot and the Yeti do not at all exist. Like the Bigfoot and the Yeti, there has been another creature that was known to be a myth and non-existent, until it was discovered. This creature is known as the giant squid. The giant squid is of a tremendous size, compared to the normal and smaller squids.

There have been many ancient stories about the giant squid. A number of sailors had claimed to see the giant squid, which perhaps gave rise to the legends of sea-monsters. Throughout the years all the claims of the giant squid were considered to be false and it was termed as a mythical creature.

All this was proved wrong when a few years ago a dead giant squid was found at a sea-side. Later, very recently, a number of live pictures and videos of the giant squid have been taken in its natural habitat. A giant squid has been found to be as large as 45 feet long. The giant squid is a creature that very much exists in this world.


If a giant squid can exist then there is no reason why the Bigfoot or the Yeti cannot exist. Such creatures are known to be in such habitats where there is no or very little human life. The Bigfoot and the Yeti are known to live in hilly and snowy regions, which make them very difficult to be spotted. Because they are known to inhabit in such remote areas, it becomes unlikely to get hardcore evidence about them.

Likewise, the giant squid has been living in the sea for a number of years until it was recently discovered. The sea is a gigantic water body and most of it is yet to be discovered by humans. No one knows what lies deep down beneath the sea. There may be a number of yet to be discovered and identified creatures that may be living in the sea.

Another very popular monster-like creature is the Loch Ness Monster. This is known to be a dinosaur-like monster that lives in the lake of Loch Ness in the Scottish Highlands. But, unlike the Bigfoot and the Yeti, the Loch Ness Monster seems to be very unlikely to exist. There have been very few inconclusive pictures and videos. There have also been sonar readings of it in the lake. But, all these evidences are very weak even when compared to those of the Bigfoot and the Yeti. Despite this, the Loch Ness Monster is something that is highly popular among people, which keeps on adding to its speculation.

Giants, if looked from another perspective, may not really be that mysterious kind of creatures as they seem to be. If we look properly, then there have been some well-known giants that have been openly living with humans and are not at all mysterious.

The Blue Whale is one such creature. The blue whale is the largest mammal in the world. They can be as large as 100 feet long, which is a humongous size. The anaconda is also known to be of a huge size. Usually anacondas are found to range between 20 to 25 feet long. The largest snake to be discovered is a 33 feet long python. These can also be considered as giants in their own right. The difference is that they are quite well known. So, if these giants can exist among us then there is a possibility that some of the other giants may also be existing.

There are also claims of the existence of giant anacondas. There have been sightings of anacondas that are about 35 to 40 feet long. European explorers during the discovery of South America have reported to have witnessed anacondas ranging up to as long as 50 feet. But, nothing much can be said about them.

The so-called monsters also may not exactly be the monsters that they are believed to be. It is quite possible that some people might have witnessed a unique or rare species of animal and that have been misinterpreted and given rise to the legends of dangerous monsters. In ancient times when irrationality and superstition was at its peak, many people could have spread rumours about some unknown animal and might have given its name to be a monster.

Also, out of fear a person might misinterpret any common animal to be a monster. Scientists claim that the Bigfoot and the Yeti might actually be a huge bear or a gorilla that have been misinterpreted as these unknown creatures.

Whatever it is, monsters and giants have become topics of immense interest. The more stories there are about them the more mysterious they become.

Cryptozoology is a field that studies such unknown, legendary, and non-existent creatures. It is focused in searching these creatures and knowing about them in a much better way. Cryptozoologists put in a great amount of effort to look out for such creatures, which scientists usually do not believe in. The creatures that are studied in cryptozoology are known as cryptids. Thus, the Bigfoot, the Yeti, the Loch Ness Monster, and the giant anaconda, all come under the category of criptids.

Like the giant squid, other animals like the Mountain gorilla or the mega mouth shark were once dismissed as myths but were later discovered. Such discoveries work as a big motivation for cryptozoologists and encourage them a great deal to look out for similar so-called legendary and mythical animals. These discoveries also create a lot of curiosity among the common man.

Monsters and giants are known to be mythical creatures. But, recent discoveries have shown that some of these creatures are very much a part of reality. This gives a sense of hope that one day other similar creatures may also be discovered.

It would be very intriguing if one day the most popular and the most searched of such creatures, the Bigfoot and the Yeti, are discovered. Knowing that these legendary creatures actually exist will be a subject of immense fascination and excitement. Who knows that the Bigfoot and the Yeti might be waiting out there, in some remote area, to be discovered by cryptozoologists?

INFERIORITY AND INFERIORITY COMPLEX

Each and every person has certain needs and desires, which he/she would like to fulfill. Many a times some of these needs become difficult to accomplish due to a number of reasons. This develops a sense of helplessness and makes the person feel powerless to a certain degree. When this happens, the individual is very likely to feel inferior.

This feeling of inferiority occurs in everybody, some time or the other. It is quite normal and natural to have this feeling. There is nothing wrong in it. There are times when an individual may be able to overcome the feeling of inferiority, but it may also be resurfaced once certain new needs develop.

According to Alfred Adler, the feeling of inferiority develops due to the innate human tendency of striving for superiority. Each and every individual strives for superiority. This tendency is so overwhelming that as soon as there is some obstruction that comes in between the person and his/her needs then he/she begins to feel inferior.

It is a blessing in disguise to feel inferior because in a way it can help to move forward in life. The striving for superiority makes sure that the person puts in all his/her effort and work harder to fulfill his/her needs and overcome the sense of helplessness and powerlessness. Thus, the striving for superiority causes inferiority as well as helps in overcoming it.

It is alright if there is some control over the feeling of inferiority and it occurs within a certain limit. The problem arises when it becomes too pervasive. When the feeling of inferiority occurs too often and becomes persistent, then it may lead the person to develop into inferiority complex.

Inferiority complex makes an individual feel worthless and instills within him/her a sense of hopelessness. The person begins to feel that he/she lacks certain qualities and is inferior to others with respect to those qualities. Due to an inferiority complex, the normal feelings of incompetence get exaggerated, which makes the individual feel that it is impossible to achieve goals and/or have certain abilities.

For instance, an average or below average student might try hard to score well in his/her examination. Due to his/her continuous failure in doing that he/she might feel inferior to others and think that it is impossible to compete with his/her peers, which in turn makes him/her feel worthless.

Inferiority complex may not necessarily develop in the context of specific tasks or goals. It may develop for more general or abstract things also. For example, a person might feel that he/she is not very good looking compared to others and this might become the cause for inferiority complex for that person.

Likewise, if a person is unable to make friends then that person might feel that nobody likes him/her and that he/she lacks the qualities of having good friends. Also, if a person, compared to others, is confused about his/her goals in life then he/she might begin to feel insecure and think that he/she is good for nothing. This continuous feeling can cause an inferiority complex.

Inferiority complex can become a menace for the individual and can lead to many other problems. The person might develop a feeling of inadequacy. He/she might also have disappointment, dissatisfaction, depression, fearfulness, shyness, self-pity, insecurity, loneliness, withdrawal, etc.

If inferiority complex becomes too overwhelming and lasts for a longer period of time, there is a possibility that it may engulf the person in such a strong way that it changes into superiority complex. Superiority complex is nothing but an exaggerated form of inferiority complex. When a person develops too much of inferiority complex, then it turns into superiority complex.

In superiority complex, the individual feels that a good way to overcome inferiority is to make others feel inferior and thus become superior. For this, the person might become arrogant and aggressive in his/her mannerisms. He/she might try to show off and indulge into too much of self-praise and bragging. The person might also try to bully others to gain a sense of satisfaction.

The person does all this in an effort to regain his/her lost self-worth. He/she tries to seek the attention of others and pretends to be something that he/she actually is not. The individual tries to convince and prove himself/herself as well as others that he/she is not inferior. He/she also tries to think of himself/herself as someone who is highly valuable and probably the best.

Such a person might seem to be very confident from the outside. He/she might appear to hold a very high opinion of himself/herself. But, this may not be the case in actuality. The person is just trying to hide his/her shortcomings and tries to overcome his/her excessive feelings of inferiority.

This attitude is perceived as obnoxious and rude by others. By getting into such behaviour, the person might also be making a fool out of him/her. Others begin to extremely dislike him/her and try to stay away. This further exacerbates the feeling of worthlessness within that person. It may also lead to more and more aggressive behaviour or even chronic loneliness and depression.

The best way to overcome inferiority complex, according to Adler, is compensation. If a person feels that he/she lacks in a certain ability, then that person can try to develop strength in some other ability. The individual can enhance such skills that make him/her feel good about himself/herself and develop self-confidence. In this way, the person feels that it does not matter if he/she lacks in an ability because he/she is very good in some other ability.

For instance, a person who feels that he/she is not good in studies can become good in sports. A person who feels that he/she is not good looking can become very good in studies and other intellectual tasks. A person who feels that he/she does not have a good speaking ability can develop good skills in writing or painting. In this way an individual can compensate his/her lack of ability by developing and enhancing some other ability.

Another way to overcome inferiority complex is to have a high level of self-awareness. A high level of self-awareness will enable the person to know himself/herself in a much better way. Due to this an individual can recognize his/her strengths and weaknesses and work accordingly. If the person realizes his/her strengths and true abilities, then there is no way that the person could develop an inferiority complex.

Many people become too much sensitive about what other people feel or think about them. They begin to worry a lot about how others see them. This is completely unnecessary and a waste of time. Rather than worrying about what others are thinking, it is much better to focus on what we want to do.

An individual knows himself/herself better and if he/she goes according to others then there is a possibility that the person might get into things in which he/she lacks proper ability. This may cause constant failures and eventually lead to inferiority complex.

Comparing oneself to others also does no good to the person. If a person is good in something that does not mean that another individual also has to be good in that. The individual might have his/her own strengths and should focus on that. Trying to ape others can be misguiding and lead to insecurity, which may further develop into inferiority complex.

The feeling of inferiority can be a good thing for an individual until and unless it is not exaggerated. Inferiority complex is obviously something that can cause a lot of troubles to a person.

The longer inferiority complex stays the worse it gets. Therefore, a person should do his/her best to overcome it once he/she develops it. Rather than overcoming it would be much better if an individual uses his/her thought processes in an appropriate manner and try to dissociate himself/herself from inferiority complex as much as possible.

LOVE IS LIKE ANY OTHER EMOTION

Human beings experience a number of emotions such as happiness, sadness, anger, jealousy, excitement, hatred, etc. These emotions are felt by everybody throughout the world, across different cultures.

The emotion of love (romantic love) is also something that is experienced by many people and is very common all over the world. People who are in love describe it as an amazingly satisfying feeling that gives them immense happiness. Many of those who are not in love desire to experience that feeling and wait for that one special person with whom they would want to spend their entire life.

There is this delusion of true love that some people have. They take the feeling of love as the ultimate thing in life and give it the utmost importance. Because of this they orient their whole life according to this feeling of love. They have the false belief that love lasts forever and that they can live happily with that one so-called special person for the rest of their life. This belief may not necessarily be true all the time.

Just like we fall in love, we also fall out of love. This means that love does not last forever and after a certain period of time the love that we have for a person may begin to fade away and eventually die out.

There can be a number of reasons for this. One of the reasons is boredom. Human beings always like change and dislike sameness. The qualities that a person likes about his/her lover may soon become something that is routine and run of the mill. A person might get bored with being with the same person and the same old qualities of that person that were once responsible for them to fall in love with each other. Those same qualities may also even begin to irritate that person to quite an extent. This continuing for a longer period of time leads the person to ultimately fall out of love.

It is not that once the love between two people dies out it is the end of the road for them. Things can be worked out between the two. Efforts can be made by both to recreate that magic when they initially fell in love. Due to their efforts they can once again fall in love with each other and thus try to sustain the love they had for their lover. Erich Fromm used the term “standing in love” for this. He says that more than falling in love it is standing in love that is important. This is the only way that enables love to last longer.

However, standing in love is not an easy process and is something that does not happen very often. Despite that due to the delusion of true love, even when the love between them has died out, people still prefer to be with each other. The individual tries to hang on with that person desperately because he/she believes that that is the only person in the whole world who is made for him/her. This further causes problems, both within the relationship and the individuals themselves.

There are times when the couple decides to end the relationship. But since they believed that they had found true love it becomes very difficult for them to accept it. They find it really hard to get over the break up that they had. Because of this they get into phases of depression and also begin to lose interest in many other things. This can further lead to irritability and frustration.

Trying to continue a relationship that has no future or not being able to get over a broken relationship might take the person away from the possibility of accepting other pleasurable opportunities in life. There is always a possibility to fall in love again with another person, but that may not happen if the person is preoccupied with his/her own false beliefs. In this way, the person may be unknowingly moving further away from happiness that he/she may be getting. The delusion of true love and that one special person is not going to take the person any where.

The initial feeling of attraction with another person is magnetic and pulls the person into believing that he/she is in love without even thinking whether the relationship can work or not. Attraction and liking each other is not enough to have a long lasting relationship. There are many other aspects that are involved to make a relationship work out for a longer period of time. Compatibility, the amount of time that they can spend with each other, their own goals in life, and their future prospects are some of the things that needs to be considered before finally getting committed to a relationship.

It is better to withhold ones flow of emotions, initially, before getting fully committed to the relationship. All the aspects of the future of the relationship should be analyzed properly. Once a commitment is made then it becomes too late. Before getting into the relationship, if suppose an individual comes to the conclusion that there are too many complications within the relationship and that it may not have a future then he/she can always move on. Here the person saves himself/herself from a lot of troubles, like ending up with the wrong person, by wisely making a decision that the relationship may not work out.

Besides this, there is a strong possibility that the initial feeling of love may not even be love in the first place. The tremendous flow of emotions that occur when we initially meet a person and begin to like him/her, can make us falsely believe that we are falling in love with that person. Therefore, by withholding one's emotions, initially, can also make a person buy out some time and analyze properly whether or not the feeling that he/she is developing for the other person is actually love or something else. If he/she decides that it is just a liking and not love, then the individual prevents himself/herself in making a wrong decision and thus avoids further complications.

As mentioned above, there are people, especially adolescents and young adults, who orient their whole life according the feeling of love. Their whole life is guided by this one emotion. They neglect many other important aspects of life because of their feeling of love. They are willing to do anything to be with their lover.

For instance, they even choose a career path that is suitable for their love without even thinking that a career is chosen on the basis of aptitude and interest and not on the basis of their love. Choosing a wrong career for love is obviously an absolutely unwise decision, considering the fact that the love may not even last long enough. In the long run, career matters more than love.

Due to their being in love, many people give very little importance and even devalue other relationships like friends and family. Love comes and goes away, but friends and family (especially parents and siblings) are always there. Giving more value to love can make others unhappy and may lead to moving away from them. At the time when love gets over the person might end up being all alone and then it will be too late to regret.

Thus, efforts should be made to value all relationships equally. Giving more time to love and thus neglecting others can make them feel cheated and sad. There should be such an understanding between all the relationships that a comforting atmosphere is created. Giving more importance to love compared to other relationships can become dissatisfying and extremely stressful in the long run.

There is no doubt that the feeling of love is immensely pleasurable. It is indeed highly satisfying. But this does not mean that it should be given such a lot of importance. There are many other extremely important things in life, probably much more important and satisfying.

If love is given utmost importance then it leads to a lot of stress and becomes quite problematic. It can lead to dissatisfaction, depression, and a lot of complications. Love is meant to give a lot of happiness and not make the person end up in a lot of problems and make life complicated. Therefore, giving so much of importance to it is simply of no use at all.

Love should be taken like any other emotion. It should not be considered to be something that is very special. It should not be taken so seriously that it leads to self-deterioration and other problems in life. After all love is just another emotion.

XENOGLOSSY: IS IT REALLY POSSIBLE?

Xenoglossy is the alleged speaking of a language that is entirely unknown to the individual. The person has never heard the language before but still can speak it fluently as if it were his/her native language. In other words, if a person speaks an unknown language that has not been acquired by natural means then it is known as xenoglossy.

There have been a number of well documented cases in which people have been found to have xenoglossy. So far, none of them have been proved to be accurate. Its not that those were cases of fraud, but there have not been enough evidences to completely prove them. Linguists and Psycholinguists say that until and unless they have enough evidences they cannot accept the existence of xenoglossy.

Language is a system of symbols with rules for combining them, used to communicate information. Language development is the result of a complex process involving several aspects of learning, many cognitive processes, and perhaps various genetically determined mechanisms as well. Thus, speaking a language that a person has never heard of or is not at all familiar with seems to be something that is not possible.

There are a number of different views about how language is acquired. According to the linguist Noam Chomsky, language acquisition is partly innate. This view suggests that human beings are born with a language acquisition device (LAD), which is a built-in neural system that provides them with an intuitive grasp of grammar of their native language. Chomsky says that humans are prepared to acquire language and that the language acquisition device allows children to deduce the structure of their native language by mere exposure to it.

Another view suggests that there is a critical period for language acquisition. Critical periods are time frames during which environmental exposure is required to stimulate an innate trait during early childhood. According to this view, children acquire language during this critical period. Studies show that a critical period exists, but it does not mean that adults cannot learn a language perfectly.

The social learning view of language acquisition suggests that language is acquired through a combination of learning and imitation. According to this view, children are praised and rewarded by their parents and elders for making sounds that are approximate to those of their native language. Also, parents very often model sounds, words, and sentences for their children. All these together contribute to the acquisition of language.

The Relational Frame theory based on the social learning view also suggests that language is acquired purely through the interaction with the environment. It gives emphasis to the importance of predicting and influencing psychological events, such as thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, by focusing on manipulable variables in their context. Studies supporting this view suggest that children learn language through a system of inherent reinforcements.

There are other views that suggest language acquisition is a cognitive process that emerges from the interaction of biological pressures and the environment. According to this both the environmental and biological aspects must work together in order to allow language acquisition. This view argues that general cognitive processes sub-serve language acquisition and that the end result of these processes is language-specific phenomena, like word learning and grammar acquisition.

Similar to this is Slobin’s view of language acquisition. According to him children posses certain information-processing abilities or strategies that they use in acquiring language. These are known as operating principles and seem to be present or to develop very early in life.

The last two views show that language acquisition is something that is a lot more complex than it is believed to be.

All these different views/theories of language acquisition suggest how language is acquired by children and thus may not be very apt for explaining something like xenoglossy. However, these theories also suggest that exposure to a certain language is very necessary to acquire it, which further weakens the claims of xenoglossy.

Researchers of xenoglossy say that the exhibition of the phenomenon of xenoglossy requires paranormal explanations and are beyond the usual psychological processes. So far, the explanations given for xenoglossy are reincarnation or being possessed by another soul. These explanations are themselves not very sound and are hard to believe. The phenomenon of reincarnation is a very popular area in parapsychology, but so far nothing has been proved. And being possessed by a soul sounds to be something that is quite preposterous despite its never ending claims by a number of people.

Researchers also suggest that xenoglossy might not even have an explanation. It is something like many of the other miracles that have happened throughout the existence of life. But, to accept something there has to be ample evidence for it, there has to be some kind of logic behind it, without which it may not be possible to accept the existence of xenoglossy.

However, there are many things in this world that are beyond logic and beyond any possible explanations. There are a number of paranormal and supernatural phenomena that have no explanation whatsoever. Some believe in them and some do not. Xenoglossy may also be one of those.

As mentioned above, there have been well-documented cases of xenoglossy. Most of them cannot be denied, irrespective of the explanations given for them not being good enough. All this makes it is very difficult to say that whether something like xenoglossy is possible or not.