INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS: AN INTEGRAL ASPECT OF HUMAN BEINGS

Human beings, right from the beginning, have been known to be in groups and socialize with others. For the early humans, being in a group was a way to enhance their strength and ensure their safety. For instance, while hunting larger animals for food, it made it easier for them by being in a group. Likewise, being in a group helped them to protect themselves from becoming a prey to other dangerous species.

 
Assurance of strength and safety, however, were not the only reasons why the early humans stayed in groups. Being together is something that is inherent in human nature. As humans evolved, and time moved on, this aspect of human beings stayed on. In modern days, even though people are involved in a number of activities, and seemingly have little time, yet the aspect of socializing and being together is very much existent.

 
One of the reasons why human beings prefer to socialize and be in groups is the need for belongingness or the need to belong. The need to belong is an innate need. It is a fundamental human motivation to have meaningful and satisfying relationships. The need to belong enables people to seek out interpersonal relationships to develop social bonds and a certain level of relatedness. People have a pervasive drive to develop strong social bonds. They also resist losing attachments and breaking social bonds. They are strongly motivated to seek out positive social interactions and avoid interactions that are conflictual or involve negative affect.
 

Abraham Maslow, one of the pioneers of Humanistic Psychology (the approach that proposes that moral and ethical values and intentions directly determine behavior), suggests that the need for belongingness is the need to have friends and family. It is a natural tendency to belong to a larger group and enables people to experience companionship and have affectionate relationships. Empirical evidences suggest that deficits in belongingness and a lack of strong social bonds lead to lowered physical and mental health. Human beings are, thus, naturally and inherently driven towards belongingness.
 

The inherent tendency of human beings to socialize with each other is further explained by William McDougal’s instinct theory of motivation. The instinct theory of motivation states that organisms are preprogrammed to behave in the way they do so. McDougall, one of the pioneers of the instinct theory of motivation formed Hormic psychology, where hormic means an urge or an impulse. Hormic psychology suggests that psychological activity has a purpose, or goal, that prods the individual to action. The propelling force of such activity is termed as instinct. Instincts are inborn patterns of behavior that are not learned.
 

McDougall, in his theory, suggests a number of instincts which include, among others, hunger, sex, curiosity, sleep, etc. One of such instincts suggested by McDougall is the gregariousness or gregarious instinct. The gregarious instinct causes people to want to be together in groups. It enables people to seek out others and works as a motivation to have lots of friends.
 

Related to the need for belongingness and the gregarious instinct is the need for affiliation. The gregarious instinct led Henry Murray, one of the pioneers in emphasizing the necessity of conceptualizing behavior as an interaction of individual and environmental forces, to propose the need for affiliation. The need for affiliation is an underlying psychological motive. It is the desire to be with others and have harmonious relationships. It prompts people to have friends as well as maintain their friendships. The need for affiliation may differ from person to person, some being high and some being low on the need for affiliation. Nevertheless, each and every person has this need to some extent or the other.
 

These underlying needs show that people are inherently motivated to be with others and have relationships. They urge people to seek out others, spend time with them, and maintain satisfying relationships with them. 
 

Human beings are not only inherently motivated to be with others. They are in fact built to have relationships, which is explicitly depicted by the emerging field of study called social neuroscience. Social neuroscience examines the involvement of the nervous, endocrine, and immune systems in socio-cultural process. It examines how the brain drives social behavior and in turn how the social world influences brain and biology. It is a comprehensive attempt to understand mechanisms that underlie social behavior by combining biological and social approaches.
 

Social neuroscience has led to the discovery that the brain of human beings are built in such a way that it guides people to have social interactions. Many specific chemicals that are synthesized in the brain have been found to be associated with social behavior. The neurotransmitters (chemicals in the brain that the brain cells use to communicate) such as dopamine and endogenous opioids play a role in social bonding. Additionally hormones such as oxytocin, vasopressin, corticotropin-releasing factor (CRF), and adrenal hormones, including corticosterone are responsible for social bonding.
 

Apart from neurotransmitters and hormones responsible for social behavior, the neural circuitry of human beings is designed in such a way that it enables people to socialize with each other. There are a number of areas spread in the brain that act together and are responsible for people to interact with each other. These brain regions are collectively termed as the social brain.
 

The social brain is a set of distinct but fluid and wide-ranging neural networks that synchronize around relating to others. Although research is still going on to identify the specific social centers, so far, neuroscientists suggest that these social centers are mainly in structures of the prefrontal area of the brain in connection with areas in the sub-cortex, especially the limbic system (set of brain structures responsible for emotions, motivation, memory, and olfaction). However, other brain areas apart from these have also been discovered to constitute the social brain.
 

During any kind of social interaction, regions in the social brain work together to fine tune the activity and orchestrate the bodily movements and emotions to make the person attuned to that social action. The brain cells known as mirror neurons found in the social brain immediately get active and start function during a social interaction. These neurons sense both the move that the other person is about to make and their feelings, and instantly prepares the individual to respond appropriately.
 

For instance, while reading the emotional message in the other person’s tone of voice, the mirror neurons in the premotor cortex get activated and run to the limbic system. The mirror neurons in the temporal lobes (brain areas responsible for retention of visual memories, processing sensory input, comprehending language, storing new memories, emotions, and deriving meaning) start functioning while recognizing and reading emotions in the faces of other people. Likewise, the mirror neurons in the prefrontal cortex and limbic system become active while modulating the individual’s emotions that are effective and appropriate. In these ways, mirror neurons function during any social activity in the brain region that is responsible for that action.
 

These social circuits together keep things operating smoothly during interactions. Damage to any of these social centers impairs the ability to attune. Studies show that neurological patients with damage to various emotional circuits in the social brain are capable when it comes to cognitive tasks, like answering questions of IQ tests, but have poor functioning in their relationships. They make poor interpersonal decisions, misjudge how other people feel, and are incapable in coping with life’s social demands.
 

The human brain, thus, not only guides people in socializing with others, but it also works in order to help people in having appropriate social interactions, which in turn help in having better relationships. The human brain, is therefore, built to make human beings sociable.
 

The underlying psychological needs and neural mechanisms enable human beings to have relationships, which show that relationships are a significant aspect of human beings.  This significance is further established by a number of psychologists who have proposed that relationships and social interactions constitute an individual; it is the relationships of an individual that make him/her what he/she is.
 

An individual can be said to be represented by his/her personality. Personality refers to that part of the individual that is most representative of the person, not only in that it differentiates the individual from others, but more importantly because it is what he/she is. Personality consists of the most outstanding or salient features of an individual. It is the attribute that is highly typical of the individual and is an important part of the overall impression created in others.
 

Gordon Allport, considered to be the father of personality psychology (the area of psychology that studies personality) suggests that personality is what a person really is. He defines personality as the dynamic organization within the individual of those psychological systems that determine his/her characteristic behavior or thought.
 

Harry Stack Sullivan, the pioneer of the interpersonal approach in psychology (an approach that emphasizes the significance of interpersonal relationships), in his theory of personality called the Interpersonal Theory of Psychiatry, states that enduring patterns of human relationships form the essence of personality. He asserts that personality is the relatively enduring pattern of recurrent interpersonal situations which characterizes a person’s life. For Sullivan, personality cannot be isolated from interpersonal situations, and interpersonal behavior is all that can be observed as personality. He insisted that personality is shaped almost entirely by the individual’s relationships.
 

Sullivan insisted repeatedly that personality cannot be seen apart from interpersonal situations. According to him, the organization of personality consists of interpersonal events and personality only manifests itself when the person is behaving in relation to one or more other individuals. For Sullivan, perceiving, remembering, thinking, imagining, and all other psychological processes are interpersonal in character.
 

The significance of relationships in the formation of an individual is further demonstrated by Sullivan’s belief that significant psychosocial threats to an individual’s wellbeing are inherently social in nature. These threats, mainly, are loneliness, isolation, and rejection. Sullivan states that success in meeting the intimacy goals depend on competence in relationships and that interpersonal loss or failure to form close, supportive relationships contributes to clinical symptomatology. Sullivan, thus, locates healthy or unhealthy psychological development in reactions of one’s relationships.
 

The idea of relationships forming an individual is appositely reflected in the concept of the self. In psychology, the self is a construct that is referred to contain an individual’s organized and stable experiences. It is also considered to be the cognitive and affective representation of an individual’s identity. In other words, it is the sum of what the person actually is. It is about phenomena that pertain to the individual.
 

The concept of the self was introduced by William James, the pioneer of the school of thought of psychology called Functionalism (an approach to study psychology by analyzing the functions of mental activity). James suggests that the self is central to all of an individual’s experience and that people divide the world into me and not me. This distinction that people derive is based on interactions with others. According to James, social interactions are the key to the self.
 

Taking forward James views was George Herbert Mead, who is considered to be the father of social psychology. Mead argues that the self is a product social processes. He suggests that the self arises in the process of social experiences and is based on an individual’s perception of how he/she looks to others. He further states that the self is a product of social interactions.
 

Being influenced by Mead, Harry Stack Sullivan placed great emphasis on the social, interpersonal basis of the development of the self. He suggests that the self develops out of the feelings experienced while in contact with others and from reflected appraisals or perceptions.
 

The founder of Self Psychology (a school of thought of psychoanalytic theory and therapy that explains psychopathology as the result of disrupted or unmet developmental needs), Heinz Kohut, suggests that the key issue in the formation of the self is the presence and absence of loving relationships. He states that the receipt of empathic reactions from important other people is highly important to the health of the self.
 

In emphasizing the significance of relationships in the formation of the self, Kohut further states that healthy interaction with people who are important to an individual leads him/her to develop into an ideal personality type, where the individual is an independent and self-sufficient person. On the other hand, if this interaction is not healthy then it will lead the individual towards emptiness and insecurity.
 

It is clear that the self, even though denoting individualism, is constituted by social interactions. The self does not flourish in isolation. People learn about themselves from others and the social groups that they belong to. Relationships are crucial for the development of the self. Psychologists suggest that a human being who spends his/her entire life in social isolation would have a stunted and deficient self.
 

The emergence of the concept of the relational self, in recent times, further strengthens the idea that it is our relationships that form an individual. Theorists state that the concept of the relational self reflects that relationships are incorporated in the self and that the self is defined in terms of interpersonal relationships. By being tied to the self, these relationships influence behavior, cognition, and affect of the individual, as well as perceptions of the self.
 

Self-esteem, considered to be one of the most important aspects of the self, has been conceptualized by interpersonal theorists explicitly in interpersonal terms. Self-esteem is defined as a person’s evaluation of self; it is a person’s subjective appraisal of himself/herself as intrinsically positive or negative to some degree. It reflects a person’s beliefs about his/her personal characteristics.
 

Interpersonal theorists conclude that people’s feelings about themselves are related to how they believe others evaluate them because subjective feelings of self-esteem provide information regarding one’s standing in the eyes of other people or society at large. Therefore, an individual’s self-evaluation largely depends on his/her social interactions and relationships, which further suggests the role of interpersonal relationships in the development of an individual.
 

The aforementioned psychological perspectives on personality and the self clearly show that an individual cannot be separated for his/her relationships. Interpersonal relationships are in-built within an individual. They shape an individual and play an influential role in a person’s wellbeing and further effects other life activities.
 

Theories and research show that human beings are naturally developed to have relationships and socialize with each other. There are inherent underlying needs that motivate an individual to seek out others to have relationships, the human brain is designed to guide an individual to be sociable, and finally relationships form an individual itself. It is due to this that social interactions and forming relationships become significant for human development. Obstacles in having healthy social interactions and forming social bonds cause a number of difficulties to an individual.    
 

People who in some way or the other are unable to have meaningful and satisfying relationships experience loneliness, depression, stress, feeling of inadequacy, etc. Their psychological growth is hampered and it becomes very difficult for them to lead a happy, joyous, and stress-free life.
 

Interpersonal relationships are an essential aspect of human nature. Relationships and human beings are inseparable. Taking out the aspect of social interactions from human beings loses the very essence of being human.

CYBER-DISINHIBITION MAY TURN OUT TO BE AN ADVANTAGE

In today’s age communication on the internet has become a common phenomenon. In the current scenario when life has become very fast-paced, on-line interaction has become a very useful and convenient medium. Due to this, in the past few years, social networking websites such as Facebook and Twitter have gained a lot of popularity.

Although on-line communication is found to be useful and convenient, a number of disadvantages have been associated with it. Many have regarded it to be a negative aspect for mental health as well as social skills. People who prefer face-to-face interaction are not very fond of on-line communication and consider it to be rather inhibiting.

One such disadvantage of communication on the internet, as termed by the renowned author and psychologist Daniel Goleman, is cyber-disinhibition. Goleman suggests that the human brain is designed for face-to-face interaction. Face-to-face interactions enable people getting social feedback, mainly in terms of facial expressions and body language, which enhance communication. Empathy, a major factor in appropriate social interaction, becomes a key when it comes to the feedback that an individual gets from the other person’s expressions and body language.

When it comes to on-line interaction, these aspects of social feedback or social cues are missing and according to Goleman it is like operating in the dark. By not getting appropriate social feedback from the other person during a conversation, communication between the two gets inhibited. This inhibition in communication, in on-line interaction, is called cyber-disinhibition.

A very common effect of cyber-disinhibition is known as flaming. Flaming is the tendency to send anger and hate-filled messages on the internet. This is most often found in on-line forums, chatting, e-mails, or commenting on blogs.

During on-line interaction, something or the other might work as a trigger for the individual and may cause him/her to be emotionally hijacked. The person then with a fit of anger types some hateful message and clicks on the 'send' button. As soon as this is done, the person realizes that he/she has made a mistake and immediately starts regretting it.

This flaming gets controlled in face-to-face interaction as the person gets appropriate social feedback from the other person. The social feedback that the person gets in face-to-face interaction makes him/her aware of the whole situation and enables to reframe what he/she was about to say. This helps in preventing flaming, which does not occur in on-line interaction.

Goleman’s view of cyber-disinhibition can be corroborated by Paul Ekman’s theory of facial expressions. Paul Ekman is regarded as one of the most influential psychologists of the twentieth century. Ekman suggests that the micro-facial expressions of people reveal a lot about them and prove to be very useful in communication and having a better emotional life.

Ekman has developed techniques for measuring emotions that are revealed through such micro-facial expressions and found that facial muscular movements that created facial expressions could be reliably identified through empirical research. His theory is extensively used in lie detection and criminal investigation. The popular T. V. series, Lie To Me, is based on Ekman's theory.

Ekman’s theory and its applications show how important facial expressions can prove to be. This strengthens Goleman’s claim of cyber-disinhibition and asserts that face-to-face interaction is more fruitful as far as communication is concerned.

On-line interaction, of course, does not allow a person to read the facial expressions and body language of the other person and thus, does not provide proper social feedback. Since facial expressions, as per Ekman, reveal so much, cyber-disinhibition clearly proves to be a hindrance for appropriate communication.

Despite the negative effects associated with cyber-disinhibition, it may, for many people turn out to be a blessing in disguise. People who are unable to express themselves properly or lack in proper communication skills, especially those who are shy, may not feel very comfortable in face-to-face interactions and tend to avoid such situations. The facial expressions that work as social cues to enhance communication actually cause a hindrance.

Getting a clear, immediate reaction (feedback, social cues) of what has been said creates a sense of discomfort for people who lack in proper communication skills. Their inability to communicate properly tends to make them hesitant due to the social cues that they get in face-to-face interaction. This is one reason why shy people tend to avoid eye contact while conversing.

For such people, being unsure about the kind of reaction they will get makes them feel comfortable. The limited social cues work as an advantage. On-line interaction provides them with a platform that gives them psychological comfort. Communicating on-line usually occurs when being in isolation, which gives a sense of privacy. This further adds to their sense of comfort.

Research suggests that self-disclosure, the revealing of casual, semi-private, and private information about the self, which is a very important factor in communication, is high in people who are shy during on-line interaction as compared to face-to-face interaction. It has been found that while interacting on the internet, such people reveal more private and personal information about themselves; information that may feel hesitant about revealing in face-to-face interactions. They tend to have more intimate interactions on the internet. This helps them to express themselves in a much better way during on-line interaction.

The discomfort that they feel during face-to-face interaction, due to their social difficulties, does not occur while communicating on the internet. The internet, in fact, becomes a platform for such people where they freely express themselves and not feel unwanted. Self-expression is an important factor in developing a positive mental health. It gives them an alternative to fulfill their social needs and provides them with emotional relief. On-line interaction, thus, also, proves to be a factor in enhancing the mental health of people who are unable to express themselves properly.

Irrespective of whether or not a person has the ability of expressing himself/herself, in general, it has been found that on-line interaction, at times, may turn out to be as good as or even better than face-to-face interaction. Computer-mediated communication (CMC) expert Joseph Walther suggests that communication on the internet, believed to be impersonal, can actually be hyper-personal, which means that communication is more or excessively personal and involves higher levels of self-disclosure as compared to face-to-face interaction.

The features of on-line interaction, according to Walther, makes the communication to be hyper-personal. People during on-line communication have more time on their hands. Their responses are well thought out and they have greater control over what they have to say. It also provides greater psychological comfort, as mentioned above, which enables an individual to ease into a conversation. These features of on-line interaction make the communication process to be more personal and more intimate in comparison to face-to-face communication.

Walther further adds that the absence of non-verbal cues in on-line communication may initially become a deterrent, but after a period of time it does not matter very much. Walther suggests that the unavailability of facial expressions, as a form of non-verbal cues, in on-line communication is substituted by other cues such as the style of content and timing of verbal messages, which turn out to be highly beneficial and leads to quick and highly intimate exchange of information. In such a situation it becomes a lot easier to self-disclose in comparison to face-to-face interaction. In this way, it can be said that cyber-disinhibition actually enables the communication to be hyper-personal.

Social feedback, in the form of facial expressions, in face-to-face interaction of course is very helpful in communication. Absence of such cues does create difficulties causing cyber-disinhibition. However, the aspects of on-line communication, at times, prove to be more beneficial and may actually enhance communication rather than inhibit it. Cyber-disinhibition may, therefore, turn out to be an advantage.

THE HETEROGENEITY OF LIVE-IN RELATIONSHIPS

Two people living together, sharing the same household for a sustained period of time, having a sexual relationship, without being married are known as to be cohabiting couples. The more popular term for cohabitation is live-in relationships.

In many ways live-in relationships are similar to marital relationships. Like marital relationships, live-in couples share a household with an intimate partner who is a confidant, caretaker, and have intimate interactions, which have a positive affect on their wellbeing.

Despite these similarities, earlier research on live-in relationships shows it in a negative light, when compared to marital relationships. These researches suggest that live-in relationships involve lower levels of commitment and have lesser relationship quality as compared to marital relationships. Live-in couples have also been found to have lower levels of happiness compared to people who are married.

These findings have led to the belief of live-in relationships, perhaps, not being a proper relationship. It is always seen as something for people who are not looking for any kind of commitment and responsibility in a relationship. It is seen as temporary and a bad alternative to marriage. In some places, especially in a country like India, it is seen as objectionable and a taboo.

In recent times, researchers, however, have suggested to look upon such findings with caution. Two of the biggest flaws in the aforementioned findings are that live-in relationships have only been seen in comparison with marital relationships and that all live-in relationships are assumed to be the same and considered to be having the same characteristics.

In the past couple of decades there has been a decline in marriages and a rise in live-in relationships. Live-in relationships have become an important part of the society. They are now seen as a separate family structure. This rise in live-in relationships shows that it should be examined as a separate, discrete unit and not just in comparison with marital relationships.

Considering live-in relationships as a separate entity enables to give a much deeper look into it and gives a different perspective of it. It has been found that in many ways live-in relationships contribute to a better overall wellbeing of the individuals involved in it.

People involved in live-in relationships have been found to be generally less traditional and more individualistic in nature. They also have lower childbearing expectations, give greater emphasis to leisure time, and are less religious. The biggest advantage in live-in relationships that has been found is that people in such relationships have a more egalitarian attitude about sex roles and have an equal division in household labor.

These characteristics and aspects of live-in relationships contribute majorly to an enhanced level of individual wellbeing. It also leads to a more egalitarian relationship among the partners, which tends to be highly rewarding and causes greater happiness and satisfaction.

The assumption that all live-in relationships are homogeneous is the prime cause for the many misconceptions that are associated with live-in relationships. All live-in relationships cannot be said to be the same. They differ in many ways.

Live-in relationships may serve different purposes for different people involved in it. People may have different meanings of it and may derive benefits from in it in their own ways. Motives to be in a live-in relationship may differ in terms of emotional, economic, as well as pragmatic reasons. Depending on this, the levels of commitment, permanence, and satisfaction may differ among different types of couples.

For instance, a lot of research has been done on the age of live-in couples. The age of live-in couples has been found to be an important factor in determining the relationship quality and stability of the relationship. Empirical evidences suggest that older live-in couples are happier and have a more stable relationship as compared to younger live-in couples. Studies also suggest that older couples see live-in relationships as an alternative to marriage, whereas younger couples mostly see it as a prelude to marriage.

Corresponding to the heterogeneity of live-in relationships, recent research suggests that there are four different types of live-in relationships – casual, cautious, committed, and alternative. Casual live-in relationships are those in which couples are already involved in a sexual relationship and then just move in together without thinking much about it. They may move in together for convenience or financial reasons and do not think much about the future of their relationship. Cautious live-in relationships are those in which couples are more serious about the future of their relationship as compared to that of casual live-in relationships. They get into a live-in relationship seeing it as a prelude to marriage, but are not yet fully committed. They often see their relationship as a test for marriage and feel that living together will help them to decide whether or not they would like to be together in the future.

Committed live-in relationships are those in which couples have decided to stay together for as long as possible. They have thought of getting married, some time in the future, but have not done so yet for various reasons. Alternative live-in relationships are those in which couples do not at all think in terms of marriage. They do not believe in the concept of marriage and see it as something that is outdated. They are often very committed and believe that to stay together they do not need to be formally married. They feel that getting married is not going make any difference to their relationship.

Live-in relationships may also differ on the basis of the country in which the couples are residing. The life styles of some countries largely affect how live-in relationships are looked upon. Depending on the family system of a country, some countries have a high prevalence of live-in relationships, whereas some countries have a low prevalence.  

The Scandinavian countries can be seen as an apotheosis for this consideration. In the Scandinavian countries live-in relationships are seen as almost identical to marriage. Such relationships have been found to be far less common in Southern and Eastern Europe. Looking specifically at many of the Western countries, research shows that the family formation of live-in couples in Sweden is indistinguishable from those who are married. On the other hand, in countries like Italy, Spain, and Poland, live-in relationships are found to be a marginal phenomenon.

Live-in relationships in the Scandinavian countries, especially Norway and Sweden, have been found to be highly common and widespread compared to many other countries all over the world. In these countries live-in relationships are seen as equal to marriage in terms of being socially acceptable.

In Norway and Sweden, a typical characteristic of live-in relationships is a high proportion of child births to live-in couples. It has been found that almost half of the first births are born to live-in couples. In countries like Sweden and Norway, live-in relationships are widely accepted as a way of living together, even when there are children in the relationship.

Psychologists, to understand the role of live-in relationships in family formation, have recently proposed a typology of six ideal types of live-in relationships; ranging from a marginal position associated with clearly negative public attitudes to one where it is common and largely identical to marriage.

Sweden has reached the end-point of this typology. Live-in relationships, in Sweden, have evolved into a family-building institution to such an extent where it has become almost indistinguishable to marriage. Like Sweden, in Norway live-in relationships have been widespread since several decades. Both these countries would clearly fit into the common and largely identical to marriage category. A country like the United States of America would fit somewhere in the mid-point of the aforementioned typology, which is of course lower than Sweden and Norway.

Asian countries would be much lower in the typology. A country like India, where premarital sex is seen as somewhat objectionable, would clearly fit into the category of marginal position associated with clearly negative public attitudes, which is right at the beginning of the typology.

In the past decade, live-in relationships have been on the rise in India. This rise has been clearly noticeable as it is now supported by the Indian law of family system. In India the law of domestic violence is applicable to live-in couples also. The female partner, after spending a good enough time in the relationship has the rights to the property of her partner. Even the child of a live-in couple has the right to inherit the property of his/her biological father.

Despite the law being supportive of live-in relationships, it is still seen as something that is not very socially acceptable in India. Due to this live-in couples in India live together largely in a secretive manner and only revealing their relationship status to their close associates. They are not very comfortable to talk about it openly. Things are slightly different in big cities like Mumbai and Bangalore, but that difference is not very noticeable.

Compared to India, live-in relationships are in a better position in other Asian countries like China and Japan. However, this is nowhere near to how it is seen in Western countries, and it is of course not at all seen as identical to marriage.

The typology of live-in relationships, mentioned above, further add to the variability of live-in relationships. It shows that live-in relationships may differ depending on the country where the live-in couple is residing in. It also shows that live-in relationships can very well play a role in family formation.

   
The large differences within live-in relationships clearly show that seeing it as a unity and as harmonized is highly erroneous. Live-in relationships have become a part of the existing family system. They should obviously be seen as a discrete unit that has a lot of disparity.

Live-in relationships involve inconsistencies and complexities. They at best can be termed as fuzzy, indefinite, and heterogeneous. They certainly cannot be seen as something that is a uniform phenomenon.

SELF-REALIZATION AND CAREER DEVELOPMENT

Choosing an appropriate career path is perhaps one of the most important decisions of life. A wrong decision may lead to dissatisfaction, frustration, and a lack of interest and enthusiasm towards work. A right decision, on the other hand, can lead to happiness, satisfaction, and a sense of joy and excitement towards work.

Despite the importance of the decision, many a times, due to various reasons, people do not put in too much of a thought, as required, while choosing a career. People tend to choose a career not on the basis of appropriateness and their suitability, but rather in terms of availability and popularity. This, in the long run, does not turn out be very fruitful and its after-effects are felt in more ways than one.

Sidney Simon, the vocational psychologist, reflects this very well in his book, Values Clarifications. In the book he says:
“A person who settles for whatever comes his/her way, rather than pursuing his/her own goals, is probably not living a life based upon his/her own freely chosen values. He/she usually ends up by feeling that life is not very meaningful or satisfying.”

In a way Sidney Simon is trying to say that a career should be chosen according to the goals of one’s life instead of getting into something just for the sake of it. If this does not happen then the person feels restricted and life appears to be meaningless.

To pursue one’s goals one also has to know what those goals actually are. For this the person needs to know his/her abilities and needs to realize his/her true potential; the individual has to know himself/herself. In other words, knowing about one’s goals in life and choosing an appropriate career requires self-realization. Self-realization is the development or fulfillment of one’s own potential or abilities. According to Abraham Maslow, it is the impulse to convert oneself into what one is capable of being.

One of the ways of self-realization is the understanding that there are many intelligences and not just one. An individual who is good in mathematical abilities is considered to be intelligent and an individual who is good in writing and linguistic abilities is also considered to be intelligent. Both are intelligent in their own ways. Saying that the former is more intelligent than the latter, or vice versa, will be incorrect.

Howard Gardner, the educational psychologist, has talked about this extensively in his well-known theory of Multiple Intelligences. Gardner, in his theory, suggests that rather than one there are eight to nine intelligences. These intelligences are:

• Linguistic Intelligence: The ability to communicate well, orally or in writing.
• Logical-mathematical Intelligence: The capacity to use numbers effectively, to learn higher mathematics, and to handle complex logical arguments.
• Spatial Intelligence: The ability to perceive the visual-spatial world accurately and to perform transformations upon those perceptions.
• Bodily-kinesthetic Intelligence: The ability to use one’s physical body well.
• Musical Intelligence: The capacity to perceive, discriminate, transform, and express musical forms.
• Interpersonal Intelligence: The ability to sense other’s feelings and be in tune with others.
• Intrapersonal Intelligence: It includes self-knowledge, having an accurate picture of oneself, and the ability to understand one’s own body and mind.
• Naturalistic Intelligence: The ability to understand different species, recognize patterns in nature, and classify natural objects.
• Existential Intelligence: The capacity to locate oneself with respect to such existential features of the human condition such as the significance of life, and the meaning of death.

Eight of these nine intelligences have been found to be associated with specific brain areas. The linguistic intelligence is associated with the left temporal and frontal lobes. The logical-mathematical intelligence is associated with the left frontal and parietal lobes. Spatial intelligence is associated with posterior regions of the right hemisphere. The bodily-kinesthetic intelligence is associated with the cerebellum, basal ganglia, and motor cortex. Musical intelligence is associated with the right temporal lobe. The interpersonal intelligence is associated with the frontal lobe and temporal lobe. The intrapersonal intelligence is associated with the frontal lobe, parietal lobe, and the limbic system. Finally, the naturalistic intelligence is associated with areas of the left parietal lobe that are important in discriminating living from non-living things. All these intelligences being associated with specific brain areas shows that they actually exist and are of high significance.

Each individual possesses all the intelligences, but show inclinations towards at least two or three of them. Realization that there are more than one intelligences coupled with the identification of a combination of specific intelligences that one is more inclined towards, helps to a great extent in self-realization. Learning that goes in line with these intelligences, strengthens ones abilities, and gives a clearer pictures of one’s goals in life, which sets the individual on a suitable and fulfilling career path.

Howard Gardner describes it very aptly:
“It is of utmost importance that we recognize and nurture all of the varied human intelligences, and all of the combinations of intelligences. We are all so different largely because we all have different combinations of intelligences. If we recognize this, I think we will have at least a better chance of dealing appropriately with the many problems that we face in the world.”

People not only differ in the varied combinations of intelligences, but they also differ in personality. Personality plays a very important role in career decision making and career development. It helps in defining strengths and weaknesses. If the kind of work an individual does relates to the personality of that individual then the person tends to enjoy his/her work and feel fulfilled about it. Greater the match between personality and occupation greater will be life and career satisfaction.

According to the vocational psychologist, John Holland, personality styles reflect individuals’ preference for interests and activities. He suggests six personality types that are associated with different work environments and interests:

• Realistic: Such people are usually assertive and competitive, and are interested in activities requiring motor coordination, skill, and strength. Realistic people usually prefer to work a problem through by doing something rather than talking about it, or sitting and thinking about it. They like concrete approaches to problem solving, rather than abstract ideas. They also tend to be interested in scientific or mechanical rather than cultural and aesthetic areas.
• Investigative: Such people like to think and observe rather than act. They prefer to organize and understand information rather than persuade. They tend to prefer individual rather than people oriented activities.
• Artistic: Such people are usually creative, open, inventive, original, perceptive, sensitive, independent, and emotional. They dislike structure and rules, like tasks involving people or physical skills, and are more likely to express their emotions than others. They like to think, organize, and understand artistic and cultural areas.
• Social: Such people seem to satisfy their needs in teaching or helping situations. Compared to realistic and investigative people, they are more drawn to seek close relationships and are less apt to want to be really intellectual.
• Enterprising: Such people are good talkers and use this skill to lead and persuade others. They value reputation, power, money, and status, and usually go after it.
• Conventional: Such people like rules and regulations, and emphasize self-control. They like structure and order, and dislike unstructured or unclear work or interpersonal situations. They place value over reputation, power, and status.

It is very much possible that one person does not completely fit into just one personality type. Each individual might find himself/herself fit to a combination of personality types. For instance, no one can be purely realistic or purely artistic.

People whose personality type matches best with their occupation experience a high level of career satisfaction. On the other hand, people who enter occupations that are not compatible with their personality type tend to feel dissatisfied with and highly unstable with the work they do. Realizing the appropriate personality, then will enable individuals to know what suits them best, which will further help them to choose a proper career path.

Once an individual understands and identifies the specific combination of intelligences and the appropriate personality type, then it becomes a lot more easier to set goals that do justice to ones true potential. This enables the individual to choose a career path that brings joy and happiness rather than conflict and dissatisfaction.

Abraham Maslow puts it appropriately:
“If you deliberately plan to be less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you will be deeply unhappy for the rest of your life. You will be evading your own capacities, your own possibilities.”

Self-realization, of course, is not only about the comprehension of several intelligences and appropriate personality type. It, nevertheless, constitutes self-realization majorly.

Thus, self-realization not only helps to understand ones potential and abilities, but it also makes the individual to live up to his/her capacities, which further leads to the development of a highly fulfilling career.

RELATIONSHIP QUALITY: A COMPONENT OF EMOTIONAL WELLBEING

This article is based on my research paper that I had recently presented in a conference held in New Delhi.

Emotional wellbeing is a broad term that includes feelings, behavior, relationships, goals, and personal strengths. It refers to the emotional quality of an individual’s everyday experiences and occurs when a range of feelings, such as, energy, openness, confidence, enjoyment, happiness, calmness, care, etc. are combined and balanced.

Experiencing emotional wellbeing does not mean being happy all the time. It, rather, means feeling all right and not suffering mental distress, depression, or anxiety. Therefore, when feelings are managed in a constructive manner, do not cause too much of distress, and enable to maintain positive and effective relationships, then it is said to be a state of emotional wellbeing.

Emotional wellbeing has found to be associated with a number of factors, which can be seen by having a look at figure 1:

Figure 1: Emotional Wellbeing

Figure 1 shows that emotional wellbeing comprises of happiness and joy, self-esteem, optimism, lower levels of stress and anxiety, and so on.

Emotional wellbeing, even though being associated with many factors, can also be influenced by a number of aspects of life. One such thing that has a major influence on emotional wellbeing is relationships. Relationships are very essential for individuals. They play a very important part in an individual’s life.

Research shows that relationships shape our personality and have a significant influence on our physical and mental health. New research in social neuroscience suggests that the interactions in relationships have the capacity to reshape the structure of the brain by altering the neural networks.

Clearly, relationships have a very large role to play in an individual’s life. Any kind of relationship, be it friendship, romantic relationship, marital relationship, familial relationships, etc. have their own significance in an individual’s life.

When it comes to relationships, then the first thing that comes to mind is relationship quality, which is perhaps the main guiding force of every relationship. Relationship quality is the positive or negative feelings of an individual about a particular relationship. These feelings are derived from an overall assessment of the relationship, which is based on focusing attention on the relationship and its interaction patterns. It is also based on internal representations and conscious reflections about the particular relationship.

A high relationship quality involves experiences of affection, intimacy, nurturance, and fosters wellbeing. Comparatively, a low relationship quality involves conflict and antagonism.

Relationship quality has been found to be associated with various factors. Based on all the research done on relationship quality, it can be depicted in the following figure (Figure 2a):

Figure 2a: Relationship Quality

Figure 2a shows that relationship quality is associated with factors such as trust, self-esteem, happiness, satisfaction, forgiveness, and so on.

When we have a close look at the right side of figure 2a, separately, and compare with it with figure 1 (emotional wellbeing), then it it can be seen that all the factors of relationship quality are in some way or the other associated with emotional wellbeing. Figure 2b gives a clearer picture:

Figure 2b: Relationship Quality and Emotional Wellbeing

The left part of figure 2b can be easily replaced with the left part of figure 2a, which can be seen as figure 2c:

Figure 2c: Relationship Quality as a component of Emotional Wellbeing

When figure 2a and figure 2b are combined, relationship quality can be clearly seen as a component of emotional wellbeing (figure 2c).

Relationship quality, depending on being high or low, can be seen as the predictor of the course of the relationship. Being a key component of emotional wellbeing, relationship quality, thus, plays a significant role in determining emotional wellbeing.

THE SOCIAL ASPECT OF INTELLIGENCE

Being intelligent is usually associated with being high on academic and intellectual abilities. Years ago, when the first attempts were made to measure intelligence, it indeed took shape and began to be seen as synonymous with academic abilities. Later, when psychologists further explored the concept, it evolved into many other domains.

Intelligence has been a subject matter that has always created a lot of intrigue. A number of philosophers and psychologists have tried to define it in their own ways. Despite the differences in the views, intelligence broadly fell into the category of abstract and mechanical abilities. In 1905, in France, the psychologist Alfred Binet and physician Theodore Simon together developed the first ever psychological test to measure intelligence, known as the Binet-Simon scale. The test was developed to identify children who needed special attention for education in schools.

The test contained a number of age-graded items, which includes some questions related to vocabulary and general knowledge as well as some performance tasks. The test would give a score, termed as intelligence quotient or IQ, which was the measure of the individual’s intelligence. This score was compared with a set of norms according to which the individual would get to know whether his/her intelligence is high, low, or average.

The Binet-Simon scale was later translated and modified by the Stanford psychologist Lewis Terman and named as the Stanford-Binet Intelligence Scale. The Stanford-Binet Intelligence Scale became highly popular and began to be widely used. It is still used today in its revised form.

The popularity of the Stanford-Binet Intelligence Scale led to the widespread use of IQ. IQ is the ratio of an individual’s mental age and chronological age. Other psychological tests, to measure intelligence, that were developed later, also used the concept of IQ. IQ became a standard way of measuring intelligence and it began to be applied in various settings. It began to be used in education to distinguish between different levels of students. It began to be used for recruitment purposes, and it even began to be used as a factor for diagnosing certain developmental disorders.

Despite its widespread use, the concept of IQ faced a lot of criticism. Intelligence with respect to IQ got limited to cognitive abilities, such as memory and problem solving. These abilities were found to be related to only academic abilities and had nothing to do with day to day life situations. IQ turned out to be just the measure of academic abilities and could only predict academic success, while ignoring other aspects of life. This did not sit well with many theorists, as, according to them, intelligence is not only about academic abilities; it is much more beyond it.

Keeping this in view Edward Throndike came up with the concept of social intelligence, which he said is very different from the general perspective of intelligence. He defined social intelligence as, the ability to understand and manage people, and to act wisely in human relationships. Social intelligence also includes the ability to perceive one’s own and others’ internal states, motives, behaviors, and to act towards them optimally on the basis of that person. According to Throndike, social intelligence is not about academic abilities and is an important factor of success in various life situations. 

David Wechsler, one of the most well known theorists of intelligence, distinguished between intellective and non-intellective elements of intelligence. The intellective elements include the usual academic abilities and the non-intellective elements include affective, personal, and social factors.
 
Wechsler defined intelligence as the global capacity of the individual to act purposefully, think rationally, and deal effectively with the environment. In this definition, the “dealing effectively with the environment” part in some way reflects the social aspect of intelligence. But, it cannot be said to be similar to the concept of social intelligence, which was introduced by Throndike, because Wechsler described it simply as a general aspect of intelligence applied to social situations. Nevertheless, he did slightly touch on the part of the social aspect of intelligence and even suggested that the non-intellective elements of intelligence are very essential to succeed in life.

The Harvard psychologist and educationist, Howard Gardner, in his disagreement with the concept of IQ, came up with his theory of multiple intelligences. Gardner suggested that instead of one kind of intelligence, being related to academic abilities, people actually have many intelligences. Among the eight to nine intelligences, suggested by Gardner, two of them are interpersonal intelligence and intrapersonal intelligence.

Interpersonal intelligence is the ability to make distinctions in the moods, intentions, motivations, and feelings of other people. It includes sensitivity to facial expressions, voice, and gestures; the capacity for discriminating among many different kinds of interpersonal cues; and the ability to respond effectively to those cues in some pragmatic way.

Intrapersonal intelligence is self-knowledge and the ability to act adaptively on the basis of that knowledge. It includes having an accurate picture of oneself; awareness of inner moods, intentions, motivations, temperaments, and desires; and the capacity for self-discipline, self-understanding, and self-esteem.

Gardner categorized these two intelligences as personal intelligences. Personal intelligences broadly include knowledge about the self and others, and, as it can be seen, is the same as social intelligence.

From Gardner’s personal intelligences, John Mayer and Peter Salovey coined the term emotional intelligence. They defined emotional intelligence as the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions. According to Salovey, emotional intelligence can be subdivided into five domains, which are: knowing one’s emotions, managing emotions, motivating oneself, recognizing emotions in others, and handling relationships.

Daniel Goleman further elaborated and extended the concept of emotional intelligence. He introduced a number of behavioral measurements of emotional intelligence and gave many empirical evidences of the benefits of emotional intelligence. To denote the measure of emotional intelligence, he devised the term emotional quotient or EQ, which countered the concept of IQ.

Goleman defined emotional intelligence as the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships. Through his research he showed that emotional intelligence is highly beneficial in the areas of education, work, and mental health. He suggested as well as provided research evidences that when it comes to long-term success and success in varied life situations, being high in emotional intelligence is more important than being high in academic abilities.

The immense popularity and widespread applications of emotional intelligence has firmly established the existence of the social aspect of intelligence. More and more research is now being done within this domain of intelligence, which further shows that intelligence is not limited to abstract and mechanical abilities.

According to Goleman, the social aspect of intelligence constitutes of social awareness and social facility. Social awareness includes instantaneously sensing another’s inner state, understanding others feelings and thoughts, and being able to handle complicated social situations. Social facility builds on social awareness to allow smooth and effective interactions.
 
While academic abilities are important in their own right, it is in no way synonymous with intelligence. Being intelligent may very well mean being academically adept, but it is not limited to it. This is because being intelligent also means that a person is empathetic, sensitive, influential, inspiring, compassionate, exciting, humorous, charming, etc., all are which characteristics of the social aspect of intelligence.

ALIEN ABDUCTION OR FALSE MEMORY SYNDROME?

In the past decade and a half, more and more people are coming out in the open and sharing their experiences of being abducted by aliens. Alien abductions, supposedly, have been taking place for more than fifty years. Earlier people used to be very hesitant in talking about it publicly for the fear of being ridiculed and trivialized.

In the recent past, there have been a number of alleged UFO (Unidentified Flying Objects) sightings all over the world and there has been a lot of curiosity about extra-terrestrial life. Quite a few people have been accepting the possibility of the existence of intelligent beings in the outer space. People are now becoming more aware about the concepts such as UFOs, aliens, extra-terrestrial life, etc.

This is, perhaps, the reason why people, who claim to be abducted by aliens, do not hesitate any more to talk about all the events that had occurred with them. They are comfortable to face the world and come out in the open to share their experiences of, what they claim to be, being abducted by aliens.

Josef Allen Hynek, who was an astronomer and later became a UFO researcher (or Ufologist), has scaled various encounters with aliens into different levels. According to him, alien abductions are called close encounters of the fourth kind, in which people are actually taken inside a UFO. Most of the times, people, who are supposedly abducted by aliens, tend to forget about it. The whole incident of being abducted by aliens gets erased from their conscious memory.

People claiming to be abducted by aliens, out of nowhere, start suffering from a number of psychological and physiological symptoms, which include anxiety attacks, insomnia, vomiting, extreme thirst, loss of appetite, eye irritation, dry mouth, scars, rashes, and blisters. They also have vague dreams of being abducted by aliens. Many of them also develop a phobia of clowns and dwarfs. They become extremely worried about all these symptoms, because they are unable to figure out the reasons behind it.

It is only when they go under hypnosis, they are able to recall all the series of events that had occurred recently and they come to realize that they were abducted by aliens.

In their description of events, the supposed alien abductees reveal that they were taken into a huge space-craft. They say that they were tied down to a bed, which was inside a large and extremely clean room and that they were surrounded by strange creatures (some describe them as human-like and some describe them to be not at all human-like). They also tell that the aliens completely undress them and do a full medical examination.

According to them, the aliens take blood samples, saliva samples, skin scrapings, hair locks, and nail clippings. Some people also say that the aliens forcibly have sexual intercourse with them. All these descriptions are corroborated by putting them through a lie-detector test. There is also a high level of similarity in descriptions of alien abductions in different countries all over the world, and not just one small place.

Another highly astonishing thing about alien abductions is alien implants in the body of the abductees. While getting a medical examination done by doctors, X-rays and magnetic resonance images (MRIs) have shown foreign objects in the body of many of the abductees. These objects are mostly found in the arms, legs, and head of the individuals.

Many of such alien implants have been removed and studied in scientific laboratories. It has been found that they emit a strong electromagnetic field and that there is no foreign-body reaction in surrounding human tissue. The implants are metallic, made with iron that is usually found in meteorites. They are also fluorescent and glow under ultraviolet light. The implants, also, seem to be artificially created and not natural. Ufologists believe that alien implants are the best evidence of the existence of aliens. The purpose of putting implants in bodies has been speculated to be tracking or controlling the mind of the individual.

Apart from this, there are other intriguing stories associated with alien abductees. People who are abducted by aliens seem to have a history of abductions in their family. People from different generations of the same family have been victims of abduction. If a person is abducted then there is a strong possibility that the near and dear ones of that person will also be abducted sooner or later. A person may not be abducted only once. Some have been abducted a number of times, almost to the extent of getting used to it. They have been abducted so many times that they actually start waiting to be abducted again.

Many of the alien abduction cases have been extensively studied by Ufologists. A lot of these cases have been found out to be true. Some of the cases have been extremely popular and a couple of them have been made into feature films. (The specific cases are not discussed over here because they can be found anywhere. Also, discussing about specific cases is not the purpose of this article).

Despite the ufologists claiming and providing evidence that many of the cases of alien abduction being true, some of the techniques involved in investigating these cases create doubts.

The lie-detector or polygraph is one such thing. A polygraph is an instrument that is used to detect whether a person is lying or not. The instrument involves the measurement of some physiological indicators such as blood pressure, pulse rate, respiration, and skin conductivity, while the person is asked a series of questions. The underlying belief is that if the person will lie then there will be a rise in the physiological measures compared to when the person is not lying.

Research shows that when a person is lying or being deceptive then there is an increase in the aforementioned physiological indicators. However, this may not happen all the time. Many people have the ability to control their physiological reactions and be calm and composed while telling a lie. A number of criminals have been found out to have easily duped the polygraph and pass the lie-detector test. There are also people who tend to become nervous, especially when a device is attached to them and even if they are not lying, due to their nervousness the increase in their physiological responses will indicate that they are lying.

It is this fallacy of the polygraph that it used only as a tool for investigation in criminal cases, but is not accepted as concrete evidence in courts. In the cases of alien abductions, the narration of abductees is corroborated by putting them through a lie detector test. But, the lie-detector itself is not a reliable device and thus narrations being corroborated by a lie-detector test is not good enough.

Apart from the polygraph, another thing that is very common among all the cases of alien abduction is hypnosis. As mentioned before, it is only under hypnosis that most of the abductees are able to recall that they were abducted by aliens. Under hypnosis they are able to recall each of the events that had occurred, which had been missing from their conscious memory.

Hypnosis is an artificially created state of consciousness that is characterized by an intense absorption with internal experience and a voluntary suspension of normal awareness of outside stimuli. It involves a high level of suggestibility. In this dissociated state of focused awareness, it is possible to influence voluntary and involuntary behavior through suggestion. According to James Braid, the Scottish surgeon, who coined the term hypnotism in the early 19th century, hypnotism is a mental condition, which increases the susceptibility to suggestion.

The first use of hypnosis was by the French physician, Franz Mesmer, in the late 18th century. He used it to treat his patients of hysteria, a disorder in which people complain about physiological symptoms that have no underlying biological cause. At that time hypnosis was called mesmerism. Later, mesmerism went through many modifications and as it got renamed as hypnosis, it began to become very popular among physicians, who used it extensively to treat people with various psychological disorders.

Over the years, newer therapies began to emerge and it was found that, in some cases, hypnosis was not very effective compared to some of the other therapies. Research shows that, at times, the symptoms that are treated with hypnosis re-emerge within a few weeks or months. Even Sigmund Freud, one of the most popular figures in Psychology, and also one of the earlier users of hypnosis, was not satisfied with it. Freud used hypnosis in the beginning of his career, but did not find it to be very effective.

Freud had three specific reasons for not being happy with hypnosis. First, not everyone can be hypnotized; hence, its usefulness is limited to a select group. Second, some patients refused to believe what they revealed under hypnosis. Third, when one set of symptoms was alleviated under hypnotic suggestibility, new symptoms often emerged. It was because of these reasons that Freud rejected hypnosis as a form of therapy and began using catharsis, later modified as free association, in which patients were encouraged to speak of anything that comes to mind, regardless of how discomforting or embarrassing it might be. The rejection of hypnosis by someone like Sigmund Freud in favour of another therapy tells a lot about its credibility.

Hypnosis majorly involves recovery of lost memories, when it comes to treatment of psychological disorders. Many a times, when people face some trauma in their childhood, the traumatic experience due to being extremely painful gets repressed in the memory. In other words, the painful memories are forgotten unconsciously. The person does not deliberately forget everything, it just gets lost within the unconscious and subconscious mind of the individual.

As the person grows older, the same painful repressed memories somehow emerge as psychological symptoms that lead to dysfunctional behavior. The hypnotist, the person who induces hypnosis, then tries to recover those lost memories to know the underlying causes of the dysfunctional behaviors, which will lead to the treatment of the individual. This is where things become complicated.

Since hypnosis involves a lot of suggestibility, it has been found that many a times, the person under hypnosis says exactly what the hypnotist wants him/her to say. At times, the things that a hypnotist says may lead the narration of the individual to something that is completely off track. This suggestibility of the hypnotist leads the individual to narrate such instances that have never occurred in his/her life, which are mistaken as lost memories. This tendency of narrating events that have never occurred in the individual’s life is known as the creation of false memories.

A false memory is a fabricated or distorted recollection of an event that did not actually happen. False memories can be extended to such an extent within an individual that it may become a syndrome, known as false memory syndrome. False memory syndrome is the belief that one remembers events, especially traumatic and remote in time, which has not actually occurred.

According to the Yale University psychologist John Kihlstrom, a false memory syndrome is a condition in which a person’s identity and interpersonal relationships are centered around a memory of traumatic experience, which is objectively false but in which the person strongly believes. Kihlstrom, further, states that the syndrome may be diagnosed when the memory is so deeply ingrained that it orients the individual’s personality and lifestyle, in turn disrupting all sorts of other adaptive behavior.

There have been a large number of cases in which people, after coming out of hypnotherapy, have believed that they were sexually abused by their parents or relatives during their childhood. The surprising thing about these cases is that there has been no forensic evidence of them being sexually abused. The lack of forensic evidence in these cases has led investigators to conclude that their belief in being sexually abused are actually false memories that were created due to hypnosis.

There has been no proper explanation of how such narrations emerge under hypnotic induction. One explanation is that people get to know about things through books and media and later get lost as hidden memories. While being under hypnosis, suggestibility on part on the hypnotist, leads them to recover those hidden memories, which are then falsely believed to have occurred in their own lives.

It is very likely that the narrations given by the supposed alien abductees are false memories that have been created exactly in the same way of those who believe that they were sexually abused in their childhood.

Folklorist and ufologist Thomas Bullard has a different perspective on this. Based on a number of extensive studies, Bullard found that hypnosis does effect the narrations of alien abductees, but only the peripheral aspects of it and not the central or concrete aspects of the narrations. He says that there are very minor distortions in the narrations of alien abductees and that their narrations are largely actual events. Bullard is one of the first mainstream academicians to be extensively involved in ufology. His work in ufology is given high regard and even a few critics of ufology find his work to be impressive.

False memories may not always be due hypnosis. The personality characteristic of fantasy-proneness is also associated with false memories. The life of people who are high on fantasy-proneness is full of fantasies. They spend a lot of their time fantasizing and when they imagine something they find it to be very real. Their fantasies are so profound that very often they are unable to differentiate between reality and imagination. This makes them very likely to have false memories also.

Fantasy-prone personalities are also high on the trait of hypnotizibility, which makes them highly susceptible for hypnosis and further makes them likely to have false memories. Fantasy-proneness has been found to be related to a number of people who have paranormal experiences, such as out of body experiences. However, a strong link of it has not been found with people claiming to be abducted by aliens. Some supposed alien abductees have been found to be high on fantasy-proneness, whereas many of them have no association with fantasy-proneness.

Some people have memory dissociations, which may also cause false memories. Dissociation of memories is the segregation of mental processes from the conscious mind. Dissociativeness usually occurs among those who have faced traumas in their childhood. It has been found that the tendency to dissociate is a defense mechanism that allows traumatized children to escape the unbearable realities of their lives, thus, becoming more likely to have false memories.

Research shows that many of the people who claim to be abducted by aliens have had some kind of traumatic experience in their childhood. This is a very important finding and shows that perhaps alien abductions are in fact false memories. Harvard psychologist and author of the book Remembering Trauma, Richard McNally, through his research found out that the emotional and physiological reactions of supposed abductees towards tapes of their alien encounters is strikingly similar to that of people when they recall the traumatic events that they experienced in their childhood.

False memories are also associated with psychotic symptoms such as delusions and hallucinations, which are usually found in disorders such as schizophrenia, dissociative identity disorder, and schizotypal personality disorder. But, research shows that none of the supposed alien abductees have any kind of psychological disorder.

Similar to false memory syndrome is confabulation. Confabulation involves spontaneous production of false memories of events that have never taken place or events that are displaced in time or space. It results from neurological dysfunction.

A specific kind of confabulation known as fantastic confabulation, which involve spontaneous outpouring of irrelevant associations and bizarre ideas can be related to the narrations of alien abductees. Like in false memory syndrome, distortions in the events are not deliberately created. People who are having confabulations are unaware that their memories are erroneous.

Confabulations are usually associated with Korsakoff’s syndrome, which is a severe dementia caused due to the effects of alcohol. It is also common in people who have abnormalities in their frontal lobe, the front-side of the brain associated with cognitive processes, and also those who have normal brain injuries.

Even though it seems to be very likely that some of the supposed alien abductees might be confabulating, none of such neurological dysfunctions associated with confabulations are found with such people.

The cognitive neuroscientist, Michael Persinger, has given an interesting theory in order to explain alien abductions, which gave him a lot of public attention. According to Persinger, abnormalities in the temporal lobe, the brain area associated with hearing and memory, creates unusual mental activity that make the person believe that he/she is having paranormal experiences, including being abducted by aliens.

Another theory of Persinger, known as the Tectonic Strain theory says that movements in the tectonic plates in the earth’s crust has something to do with the feeling of being abducted by aliens. Persinger claims that the severe activity in tectonic plates due to earthquakes produce intense electromagnetic fields and create hallucinations in the temporal lobes of individuals. These hallucinations are based on the events that are popular in the media, the most prominent being activities related to aliens and UFOs. Persinger says that this is what makes people believe that they were abducted by aliens.

There have been a few alien abduction cases that coincide with earthquakes, but there has been no such proof regarding it. Ufologists do not believe in the tectonic strain theory of Persinger.

There has been quite a lot of research that shows a strong association of false memories and false memory syndrome with that of alien abductions. This gives an idea that perhaps the narrations of alien abductions are actually false memories resulting from false memory syndrome and are not actual events.

On the other hand, there has been no explanation for the physiological symptoms such as the strange scars and blisters that alien abductees experience. The highly astonishing alien implants found in the bodies of alien abductees are also inexplicable. These things clearly have nothing to do to with false memories.

In cases where multiple people have been abducted at the same time, the narrations of each abductee, taken separately have produced striking similarities. Investigations have shown that it is quite unlikely that they had pre-decided what to say before a narration. In some cases, there have been UFO sightings in nearby areas when a supposed abduction has taken place, which adds to its authenticity.

Alien abduction cases are growing in number day by day. Some have been proven as hoaxes, but most of them have proven not to be a hoax. Countries like USA, Canada, Russia, France, Germany, and Australia have a large number of support groups for alien abductees. These support groups function in the same way as the support groups of alcoholics and other substance abusers. Such a large number of abductees all over the world having false memory syndrome seems to be a little far-fetched.

In the past few years, there has been a growing interest in the fields of ufology, the scientific study of UFOs, and xenology, the scientific study of all forms of extra-terrestrial life. Established people from fields such as astronomy, astrobiology, physics, anthropology, psychiatry, and psychology are turning into ufologists and xenologists. There are also quite a few research organizations of ufology, such as The J. Allen Hynek Center for UFO Studies (CUFOS) and The Mutual UFO Network (MUFON). These research organizations publish their own quarterly and monthly journals. All this enthusiasm and curiosity shows that there is something out there, which is mysterious and paranormal, yet believable, that needs to be known.

Ufologists as well as skeptics of alien abductions, both have their own strong point of views. It becomes difficult to take sides. It is hard to decide whether alien abductions are actual events or narrations resulting from false memory syndrome. One thing is for sure that for alien abductions to be seen as hardcore reality and taken seriously, there have to be better methodologies to investigate them, in order to provide more concrete evidences.

PS: To read more about aliens and extraterrestrial life, refer to my article, Aliens: A Myth or Reality?