Life, Psychology, And A Lot More

RELATIONSHIP QUALITY: A COMPONENT OF EMOTIONAL WELLBEING

2011-12-03T16:05:00.012+05:30

This article is based on my research paper that I had recently presented in a conference held in New Delhi, which will also very soon be published as a chapter in a book on Positive Psychology.

Emotional wellbeing is a broad term that includes feelings, behavior, relationships, goals, and personal strengths. It refers to the emotional quality of an individual’s everyday experiences and occurs when a range of feelings, such as, energy, openness, confidence, enjoyment, happiness, calmness, care, etc. are combined and balanced.

Experiencing emotional wellbeing does not mean being happy all the time. It, rather, means feeling all right and not suffering mental distress, depression, or anxiety. Therefore, when feelings are managed in a constructive manner, do not cause too much of distress, and enable to maintain positive and effective relationships, then it is said to be a state of emotional wellbeing.

Emotional wellbeing has found to be associated with a number of factors, which can be seen by having a look at figure 1:

Figure 1: Emotional Wellbeing

Figure 1 shows that emotional wellbeing comprises of happiness and joy, self-esteem, optimism, lower levels of stress and anxiety, and so on.

Emotional wellbeing, even though being associated with many factors, can also be influenced by a number of aspects of life. One such thing that has a major influence on emotional wellbeing is relationships. Relationships are very essential for individuals. They play a very important part in an individual’s life.

Research shows that relationships shape our personality and have a significant influence on our physical and mental health. New research in social neuroscience suggests that the interactions in relationships have the capacity to reshape the structure of the brain by altering the neural networks.

Clearly, relationships have a very large role to play in an individual’s life. Any kind of relationship, be it friendship, romantic relationship, marital relationship, familial relationships, etc. have their own significance in an individual’s life.

When it comes to relationships, then the first thing that comes to mind is relationship quality, which is perhaps the main guiding force of every relationship. Relationship quality is the positive or negative feelings of an individual about a particular relationship. These feelings are derived from an overall assessment of the relationship, which is based on focusing attention on the relationship and its interaction patterns. It is also based on internal representations and conscious reflections about the particular relationship.

A high relationship quality involves experiences of affection, intimacy, nurturance, and fosters wellbeing. Comparatively, a low relationship quality involves conflict and antagonism.

Relationship quality has been found to be associated with various factors. Based on all the research done on relationship quality, it can be depicted in the following figure (Figure 2a):

Figure 2a: Relationship Quality

Figure 2a shows that relationship quality is associated with factors such as trust, self-esteem, happiness, satisfaction, forgiveness, and so on.

When we have a close look at the right side of figure 2a, separately, and compare with it with figure 1 (emotional wellbeing), then it it can be seen that all the factors of relationship quality are in some way or the other associated with emotional wellbeing. Figure 2b gives a clearer picture:

Figure 2b: Relationship Quality and Emotional Wellbeing

The left part of figure 2b can be easily replaced with the left part of figure 2a, which can be seen as figure 2c:

Figure 2c: Relationship Quality as a component of Emotional Wellbeing

When figure 2a and figure 2b are combined, relationship quality can be clearly seen as a component of emotional wellbeing (figure 2c).

Relationship quality, depending on being high or low, can be seen as the predictor of the course of the relationship. Being a key component of emotional wellbeing, relationship quality, thus, plays a significant role in determining emotional wellbeing.

THE SOCIAL ASPECT OF INTELLIGENCE

2011-08-20T21:07:00.008+05:30

Being intelligent is usually associated with being high on academic and intellectual abilities. Years ago, when the first attempts were made to measure intelligence, it indeed took shape and began to be seen as synonymous with academic abilities. Later, when psychologists further explored the concept, it evolved into many other domains.

Intelligence has been a subject matter that has always created a lot of intrigue. A number of philosophers and psychologists have tried to define it in their own ways. Despite the differences in the views, intelligence broadly fell into the category of abstract and mechanical abilities. In 1905, in France, the psychologist Alfred Binet and physician Theodore Simon together developed the first ever psychological test to measure intelligence, known as the Binet-Simon scale. The test was developed to identify children who needed special attention for education in schools.

The test contained a number of age-graded items, which includes some questions related to vocabulary and general knowledge as well as some performance tasks. The test would give a score, termed as intelligence quotient or IQ, which was the measure of the individual’s intelligence. This score was compared with a set of norms according to which the individual would get to know whether his/her intelligence is high, low, or average.

The Binet-Simon scale was later translated and modified by the Stanford psychologist Lewis Terman and named as the Stanford-Binet Intelligence Scale. The Stanford-Binet Intelligence Scale became highly popular and began to be widely used. It is still used today in its revised form.

The popularity of the Stanford-Binet Intelligence Scale led to the widespread use of IQ. IQ is the ratio of an individual’s mental age and chronological age. Other psychological tests, to measure intelligence, that were developed later, also used the concept of IQ. IQ became a standard way of measuring intelligence and it began to be applied in various settings. It began to be used in education to distinguish between different levels of students. It began to be used for recruitment purposes, and it even began to be used as a factor for diagnosing certain developmental disorders.

Despite its widespread use, the concept of IQ faced a lot of criticism. Intelligence with respect to IQ got limited to cognitive abilities, such as memory and problem solving. These abilities were found to be related to only academic abilities and had nothing to do with day to day life situations. IQ turned out to be just the measure of academic abilities and could only predict academic success, while ignoring other aspects of life. This did not sit well with many theorists, as, according to them, intelligence is not only about academic abilities; it is much more beyond it.

Keeping this in view Edward Throndike came up with the concept of social intelligence, which he said is very different from the general perspective of intelligence. He defined social intelligence as, the ability to understand and manage people, and to act wisely in human relationships. Social intelligence also includes the ability to perceive one’s own and others’ internal states, motives, behaviors, and to act towards them optimally on the basis of that person. According to Throndike, social intelligence is not about academic abilities and is an important factor of success in various life situations.

David Wechsler, one of the most well known theorists of intelligence, distinguished between intellective and non-intellective elements of intelligence. The intellective elements include the usual academic abilities and the non-intellective elements include affective, personal, and social factors.

Wechsler defined intelligence as the global capacity of the individual to act purposefully, think rationally, and deal effectively with the environment. In this definition, the “dealing effectively with the environment” part in some way reflects the social aspect of intelligence. But, it cannot be said to be similar to the concept of social intelligence, which was introduced by Throndike, because Wechsler described it simply as a general aspect of intelligence applied to social situations. Nevertheless, he did slightly touch on the part of the social aspect of intelligence and even suggested that the non-intellective elements of intelligence are very essential to succeed in life.

The Harvard psychologist and educationist, Howard Gardner, in his disagreement with the concept of IQ, came up with his theory of multiple intelligences. Gardner suggested that instead of one kind of intelligence, being related to academic abilities, people actually have many intelligences. Among the eight to nine intelligences, suggested by Gardner, two of them are interpersonal intelligence and intrapersonal intelligence.

Interpersonal intelligence is the ability to make distinctions in the moods, intentions, motivations, and feelings of other people. It includes sensitivity to facial expressions, voice, and gestures; the capacity for discriminating among many different kinds of interpersonal cues; and the ability to respond effectively to those cues in some pragmatic way.

Intrapersonal intelligence is self-knowledge and the ability to act adaptively on the basis of that knowledge. It includes having an accurate picture of oneself; awareness of inner moods, intentions, motivations, temperaments, and desires; and the capacity for self-discipline, self-understanding, and self-esteem.

Gardner categorized these two intelligences as personal intelligences. Personal intelligences broadly include knowledge about the self and others, and, as it can be seen, is the same as social intelligence.

From Gardner’s personal intelligences, John Mayer and Peter Salovey coined the term emotional intelligence. They defined emotional intelligence as the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions. According to Salovey, emotional intelligence can be subdivided into five domains, which are: knowing one’s emotions, managing emotions, motivating oneself, recognizing emotions in others, and handling relationships.

Daniel Goleman further elaborated and extended the concept of emotional intelligence. He introduced a number of behavioral measurements of emotional intelligence and gave many empirical evidences of the benefits of emotional intelligence. To denote the measure of emotional intelligence, he devised the term emotional quotient or EQ, which countered the concept of IQ.

Goleman defined emotional intelligence as the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships. Through his research he showed that emotional intelligence is highly beneficial in the areas of education, work, and mental health. He suggested as well as provided research evidences that when it comes to long-term success and success in varied life situations, being high in emotional intelligence is more important than being high in academic abilities.

The immense popularity and widespread applications of emotional intelligence has firmly established the existence of the social aspect of intelligence. More and more research is now being done within this domain of intelligence, which further shows that intelligence is not limited to abstract and mechanical abilities.

According to Goleman, the social aspect of intelligence constitutes of social awareness and social facility. Social awareness includes instantaneously sensing another’s inner state, understanding others feelings and thoughts, and being able to handle complicated social situations. Social facility builds on social awareness to allow smooth and effective interactions.

While academic abilities are important in their own right, it is in no way synonymous with intelligence. Being intelligent may very well mean being academically adept, but it is not limited to it. This is because being intelligent also means that a person is empathetic, sensitive, influential, inspiring, compassionate, exciting, humorous, charming, etc., all are which characteristics of the social aspect of intelligence.

ALIEN ABDUCTION OR FALSE MEMORY SYNDROME?

2011-06-08T22:26:00.010+05:30

In the past decade and a half, more and more people are coming out in the open and sharing their experiences of being abducted by aliens. Alien abductions, supposedly, have been taking place for more than fifty years. Earlier people used to be very hesitant in talking about it publicly for the fear of being ridiculed and trivialized.

In the recent past, there have been a number of alleged UFO (Unidentified Flying Objects) sightings all over the world and there has been a lot of curiosity about extra-terrestrial life. Quite a few people have been accepting the possibility of the existence of intelligent beings in the outer space. People are now becoming more aware about the concepts such as UFOs, aliens, extra-terrestrial life, etc.

This is, perhaps, the reason why people, who claim to be abducted by aliens, do not hesitate any more to talk about all the events that had occurred with them. They are comfortable to face the world and come out in the open to share their experiences of, what they claim to be, being abducted by aliens.

Josef Allen Hynek, who was an astronomer and later became a UFO researcher (or Ufologist), has scaled various encounters with aliens into different levels. According to him, alien abductions are called close encounters of the fourth kind, in which people are actually taken inside a UFO. Most of the times, people, who are supposedly abducted by aliens, tend to forget about it. The whole incident of being abducted by aliens gets erased from their conscious memory.

People claiming to be abducted by aliens, out of nowhere, start suffering from a number of psychological and physiological symptoms, which include anxiety attacks, insomnia, vomiting, extreme thirst, loss of appetite, eye irritation, dry mouth, scars, rashes, and blisters. They also have vague dreams of being abducted by aliens. Many of them also develop a phobia of clowns and dwarfs. They become extremely worried about all these symptoms, because they are unable to figure out the reasons behind it.

It is only when they go under hypnosis, they are able to recall all the series of events that had occurred recently and they come to realize that they were abducted by aliens.

In their description of events, the supposed alien abductees reveal that they were taken into a huge space-craft. They say that they were tied down to a bed, which was inside a large and extremely clean room and that they were surrounded by strange creatures (some describe them as human-like and some describe them to be not at all human-like). They also tell that the aliens completely undress them and do a full medical examination.

According to them, the aliens take blood samples, saliva samples, skin scrapings, hair locks, and nail clippings. Some people also say that the aliens forcibly have sexual intercourse with them. All these descriptions are corroborated by putting them through a lie-detector test. There is also a high level of similarity in descriptions of alien abductions in different countries all over the world, and not just one small place.

Another highly astonishing thing about alien abductions is alien implants in the body of the abductees. While getting a medical examination done by doctors, X-rays and magnetic resonance images (MRIs) have shown foreign objects in the body of many of the abductees. These objects are mostly found in the arms, legs, and head of the individuals.

Many of such alien implants have been removed and studied in scientific laboratories. It has been found that they emit a strong electromagnetic field and that there is no foreign-body reaction in surrounding human tissue. The implants are metallic, made with iron that is usually found in meteorites. They are also fluorescent and glow under ultraviolet light. The implants, also, seem to be artificially created and not natural. Ufologists believe that alien implants are the best evidence of the existence of aliens. The purpose of putting implants in bodies has been speculated to be tracking or controlling the mind of the individual.

Apart from this, there are other intriguing stories associated with alien abductees. People who are abducted by aliens seem to have a history of abductions in their family. People from different generations of the same family have been victims of abduction. If a person is abducted then there is a strong possibility that the near and dear ones of that person will also be abducted sooner or later. A person may not be abducted only once. Some have been abducted a number of times, almost to the extent of getting used to it. They have been abducted so many times that they actually start waiting to be abducted again.

Many of the alien abduction cases have been extensively studied by Ufologists. A lot of these cases have been found out to be true. Some of the cases have been extremely popular and a couple of them have been made into feature films. (The specific cases are not discussed over here because they can be found anywhere. Also, discussing about specific cases is not the purpose of this article).

Despite the ufologists claiming and providing evidence that many of the cases of alien abduction being true, some of the techniques involved in investigating these cases create doubts.

The lie-detector or polygraph is one such thing. A polygraph is an instrument that is used to detect whether a person is lying or not. The instrument involves the measurement of some physiological indicators such as blood pressure, pulse rate, respiration, and skin conductivity, while the person is asked a series of questions. The underlying belief is that if the person will lie then there will be a rise in the physiological measures compared to when the person is not lying.

Research shows that when a person is lying or being deceptive then there is an increase in the aforementioned physiological indicators. However, this may not happen all the time. Many people have the ability to control their physiological reactions and be calm and composed while telling a lie. A number of criminals have been found out to have easily duped the polygraph and pass the lie-detector test. There are also people who tend to become nervous, especially when a device is attached to them and even if they are not lying, due to their nervousness the increase in their physiological responses will indicate that they are lying.

It is this fallacy of the polygraph that it used only as a tool for investigation in criminal cases, but is not accepted as concrete evidence in courts. In the cases of alien abductions, the narration of abductees is corroborated by putting them through a lie detector test. But, the lie-detector itself is not a reliable device and thus narrations being corroborated by a lie-detector test is not good enough.

Apart from the polygraph, another thing that is very common among all the cases of alien abduction is hypnosis. As mentioned before, it is only under hypnosis that most of the abductees are able to recall that they were abducted by aliens. Under hypnosis they are able to recall each of the events that had occurred, which had been missing from their conscious memory.

Hypnosis is an artificially created state of consciousness that is characterized by an intense absorption with internal experience and a voluntary suspension of normal awareness of outside stimuli. It involves a high level of suggestibility. In this dissociated state of focused awareness, it is possible to influence voluntary and involuntary behavior through suggestion. According to James Braid, the Scottish surgeon, who coined the term hypnotism in early the 19th century, hypnotism is a mental condition, which increases the susceptibility to suggestion.

The first use of hypnosis was by the French physician, Franz Mesmer, in the late 18th century. He used it to treat his patients of hysteria, a disorder in which people complain about physiological symptoms that have no underlying biological cause. At that time hypnosis was called mesmerism. Later, mesmerism went through many modifications and as it got renamed as hypnosis, it began to become very popular among physicians, who used it extensively to treat people with various psychological disorders.

Over the years, newer therapies began to emerge and it was found that, in some cases, hypnosis was not very effective compared to some of the other therapies. Research shows that, at times, the symptoms that are treated with hypnosis re-emerge within a few weeks or months. Even Sigmund Freud, one of the most popular figures in Psychology, and also one of the earlier users of hypnosis, was not satisfied with it. Freud used hypnosis in the beginning of his career, but did not find it to be very effective.

Freud had three specific reasons for not being happy with hypnosis. First, not everyone can be hypnotized; hence, its usefulness is limited to a select group. Second, some patients refused to believe what they revealed under hypnosis. Third, when one set of symptoms was alleviated under hypnotic suggestibility, new symptoms often emerged. It was because of these reasons that Freud rejected hypnosis as a form of therapy and began using catharsis, later modified as free association, in which patients were encouraged to speak of anything that comes to mind, regardless of how discomforting or embarrassing it might be. The rejection of hypnosis by someone like Sigmund Freud in favour of another therapy tells a lot about its credibility.

Hypnosis majorly involves recovery of lost memories, when it comes to treatment of psychological disorders. Many a times, when people face some trauma in their childhood, the traumatic experience due to being extremely painful gets repressed in the memory. In the other words, the painful memories are forgotten unconsciously. The person does not deliberately forget everything, it just gets lost within the unconscious and subconscious mind of the individual.

As the person grows older, the same painful repressed memories somehow emerge as psychological symptoms that lead to dysfunctional behavior. The hypnotist, the person who induces hypnosis, then tries to recover those lost memories to know the underlying causes of the dysfunctional behaviors, which will lead to the treatment of the individual. This is where things become complicated.

Since hypnosis involves a lot of suggestibility, it has been found that many a times, the person under hypnosis says exactly what the hypnotist wants him/her to say. At times, the things that a hypnotist says may lead the narration of the individual to something that is completely off track. This suggestibility of the hypnotist leads the individual to narrate such instances that have never occurred in his/her life, which are mistaken as lost memories. This tendency of narrating events that have never occurred in the individual’s life is known as the creation of false memories.

A false memory is a fabricated or distorted recollection of an event that did not actually happen. False memories can be extended to such an extent within an individual that it may become a syndrome, known as false memory syndrome. False memory syndrome is the belief that one remembers events, especially traumatic and remote in time, which has not actually occurred.

According to the Yale University psychologist John Kihlstrom, a false memory syndrome is a condition in which a person’s identity and interpersonal relationships are centered around a memory of traumatic experience, which is objectively false but in which the person strongly believes. Kihlstrom, further, states that the syndrome may be diagnosed when the memory is so deeply ingrained that it orients the individual’s personality and lifestyle, in turn disrupting all sorts of other adaptive behavior.

There have been a large number of cases in which people, after coming out of hypnotherapy, have believed that they were sexually abused by their parents or relatives during their childhood. The surprising thing about these cases is that there has been no forensic evidence of them being sexually abused. The lack of forensic evidence in these cases has led investigators to conclude that their belief in being sexually abused are actually false memories that were created due to hypnosis.

There has been no proper explanation of how such narrations emerge under hypnotic induction. One explanation is that people get to know about things through books and media and later get lost as hidden memories. While being under hypnosis, suggestibility on part on the hypnotist, leads them to recover those hidden memories, which are then falsely believed to have occurred in their own lives.

It is very likely that the narrations given by the supposed alien abductees are false memories that have been created exactly in the same way of those who believe that they were sexually abused in their childhood.

Folklorist and ufologist Thomas Bullard has a different perspective on this. Based on a number of extensive studies, Bullard found that hypnosis does effect the narrations of alien abductees, but only the peripheral aspects of it and not the central or concrete aspects of the narrations. He says that there are very minor distortions in the narrations of alien abductees and that their narrations are largely actual events. Bullard is one of the first mainstream academicians to be extensively involved in ufology. His work in ufology is given high regard and even a few critics of ufology find his work to be impressive.

False memories may not always be due hypnosis. The personality characteristic of fantasy-proneness is also associated with false memories. The life of people who are high on fantasy-proneness is full of fantasies. They spend a lot of their time fantasizing and when they imagine something they find it to be very real. Their fantasies are so profound that very often they are unable to differentiate between reality and imagination. This makes them very likely to have false memories also.

Fantasy-prone personalities are also high on the trait of hypnotizibility, which makes them highly susceptible for hypnosis and further makes them likely to have false memories. Fantasy-proneness has been found to be related to a number of people who have paranormal experiences, such as out of body experiences. However, a strong link of it has not been found with people claiming to be abducted by aliens. Some supposed alien abductees have been found to be high on fantasy-proneness, whereas many of them have no association with fantasy-proneness.

Some people have memory dissociations, which may also cause false memories. Dissociation of memories is the segregation of mental processes from the conscious mind. Dissociativeness usually occurs among those who have faced traumas in their childhood. It has been found that the tendency to dissociate is a defense mechanism that allows traumatized children to escape the unbearable realities of their lives, thus, becoming more likely to have false memories.

Research shows that many of the people who claim to be abducted by aliens have had some kind of traumatic experience in their childhood. This is a very important finding and shows that perhaps alien abductions are in fact false memories. Harvard psychologist and author of the book Remembering Trauma, Richard McNally, through his research found out that the emotional and physiological reactions of supposed abductees towards tapes of their alien encounters is strikingly similar to that of people when they recall the traumatic events that they experienced in their childhood.

False memories are also associated with psychotic symptoms such as delusions and hallucinations, which are usually found in disorders such as schizophrenia, dissociative identity disorder, and schizotypal personality disorder. But, research shows that none of the supposed alien abductees have any kind of psychological disorder.

Similar to false memory syndrome is confabulation. Confabulation involves spontaneous production of false memories of events that have never taken place or events that are displaced in time or space. It results from neurological dysfunction.

A specific kind of confabulation known as fantastic confabulation, which involve spontaneous outpouring of irrelevant associations and bizarre ideas can be related to the narrations of alien abductees. Like in false memory syndrome, distortions in the events are not deliberately created. People who are having confabulations are unaware that their memories are erroneous.

Confabulations are usually associated with Korsakoff’s syndrome, which is a severe dementia caused due to the effects of alcohol. It is also common in people who have abnormalities in their frontal lobe, the front-side of the brain associated with cognitive processes, and also those who have normal brain injuries.

Even though it seems to be very likely that some of the supposed alien abductees might be confabulating, none of such neurological dysfunctions associated with confabulations are found with such people.

The cognitive neuroscientist, Michael Persinger, has given an interesting theory in order to explain alien abductions, which gave him a lot of public attention. According to Persinger, abnormalities in the temporal lobe, the brain area associated with hearing and memory, creates unusual mental activity that make the person believe that he/she is having paranormal experiences, including being abducted by aliens.

Another theory of Persinger, known as the Tectonic Strain theory says that movements in the tectonic plates in the earth’s crust has something to do with the feeling of being abducted by aliens. Persinger claims that the severe activity in tectonic plates due to earthquakes produce intense electromagnetic fields and create hallucinations in the temporal lobes of individuals. These hallucinations are based on the events that are popular in the media, the most prominent being activities related to aliens and UFOs. Persinger says that this is what makes people believe that they were abducted by aliens.

There have been a few alien abduction cases that coincide with earthquakes, but there has been no such proof regarding it. Ufologists do not believe in the tectonic strain theory of Persinger.

There has been quite a lot of research that shows a strong association of false memories and false memory syndrome with that of alien abductions. This gives an idea that perhaps the narrations of alien abductions are actually false memories resulting from false memory syndrome and are not actual events.

On the other hand, there has been no explanation for the physiological symptoms such as the strange scars and blisters that alien abductees experience. The highly astonishing alien implants found in the bodies of alien abductees are also inexplicable. These things clearly have nothing to do to with false memories.

In cases where multiple people have been abducted at the same time, the narrations of each abductee, taken separately have produced striking similarities. Investigations have shown that it is quite unlikely that they had pre-decided what to say before a narration. In some cases, there have been UFO sightings in nearby areas when a supposed abduction has taken place, which adds to its authenticity.

Alien abduction cases are growing in number day by day. Some have been proven as hoaxes, but most of them have proven not to be a hoax. Countries like USA, Canada, Russia, France, Germany, and Australia have a large number of support groups for alien abductees. These support groups function in the same way as the support groups of alcoholics and other substance abusers. Such a large number of abductees all over the world having false memory syndrome seems to be a little far-fetched.

In the past few years, there has been a growing interest in the fields of ufology, the scientific study of UFOs, and xenology, the scientific study of all forms of extra-terrestrial life. Established people from fields such as astronomy, astrobiology, physics, anthropology, psychiatry, and psychology are turning into ufologists and xenologists. There are also quite a few research organizations of ufology, such as The J. Allen Hynek Center for UFO Studies (CUFOS) and The Mutual UFO Network (MUFON). These research organizations publish their own quarterly and monthly journals. All this enthusiasm and curiosity shows that there is something out there, which is mysterious and paranormal, yet believable, that needs to be known.

Ufologists as well as skeptics of alien abductions, both have their own strong point of views. It becomes difficult to take sides. It is hard to decide whether alien abductions are actual events or narrations resulting from false memory syndrome. One thing is for sure that for alien abductions to be seen as hardcore reality and taken seriously, there have to be better methodologies to investigate them, in order to provide more concrete evidences.

PS: To read more about aliens and extraterrestrial life, refer to my article, Aliens: A Myth or Reality?

THE RELATIONSHIPS OF PEOPLE WITH PERSONALITY DISORDERS (PART III)

2011-02-18T20:54:00.008+05:30

[Continued from PART II]

The cluster of anxious/fearful personality disorder comprises of avoidant personality disorder, dependent personality disorder, and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder.

People with avoidant personality disorder (APD) shy away from other people because they are afraid of being criticized or embarrassed, or worry that they will appear foolish. They have a very low self-esteem and a strong fear of rejection. They are so sensitive to criticism that they often misinterpret innocent comments as negative or critical. They feel inadequate, which makes them inhibited in social situations. They believe that they are so unappealing that they think no one would want to know them or be friends with them.

People with APD usually tend to avoid relationships. Because they are so uncomfortable around people, they usually have very few or no close friends other than someone in their immediate family. They will usually refuse to be in a relationship unless they are sure that the other person will like and accept them. They are usually distant and restrained in romantic relationships because they are afraid of being made fun of or ashamed if they reveal too much about themselves. Avoidant personalities typically feel depressed and angry at themselves because of their social failure.

Dependent personality disorder (DPD) mainly characterizes dependence on others. They are fearful or incapable of making their own decisions. They doubt their ability to take care of themselves, which makes extremely submissive. They face a lot of difficulty in making day to day decisions and even expressing their own opinion.

People with DPD have an extreme fear of abandonment. They have an extreme need for support and care from others and because of that they are willing to compromise their own interests in order to avoid being alone. Because of being incapable of taking care of themselves, people with DPD will remain in unpleasant situations rather than live alone. Often they will find themselves trapped in emotionally and physically abusive relationships, because of the fear of being alone. They will even tolerate infidelity of their spouse, because they feel that if they will protest then their spouse will leave them. They are even willing to do unpleasant things in order to stay in relationship and not get abandoned.

The main features of obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) are excessive preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and control. Their perfectionism often prevents them from finishing projects, because they are never satisfied by their work. They are considered workaholics and rarely take vacations. However, their perfectionism leads them to a lot of trouble at work, which prevents them from making proper decisions. They often have problems prioritizing and end up missing deadlines. They tend to be very thrifty and thingy. They are also often highly deferential to authority and morals.

People with OCPD do not acknowledge others’ opinions and always feel that everything must be done according to them. They are very critical of themselves and others. Friends and family members often find them rigid, stubborn, and difficult. They make challenging spouses because they are rarely spontaneous or able to relax. They might end up with a series of divorces and are often depressed and lonely.

It is very obvious that people with personality disorders have relationships that are not at all satisfying. Some are aloof and live like loners, some are extremely demanding and needy, while others can be very difficult and at times violent. Their tumultuous relationships further adds to their troubles and misery.

Personality disorders are highly generalized. It affects almost every aspect of the life of people with these disorders. They are also long standing and the behavior patterns associated with it are quite consistent.

This makes people with personality disorders not to see their conditions as a problem. They feel that this is the way that they are. When others have difficulties with them, they do not see it as their fault. They, in fact, feel that others’ are not being able to understand them. This is why they feel that they do not need any kind of treatment.

Personality disorders are also accompanied by other problems, such as mood disorders and substance abuse, which are known as comorbid disorders. Due to this, people with personality disorders are, many a times, misdiagnosed.

It becomes very difficult to identify the main causes of distress of people with personality disorders. They are, usually, treated for problems that are lesser in degree and importance, while their main problems remain unresolved.

[PART I]

THE RELATIONSHIPS OF PEOPLE WITH PERSONALITY DISORDERS (PART II)

2011-02-07T11:09:00.010+05:30

[Continued from PART I]

The cluster of dramatic/emotional/erratic includes histrionic personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and anti-social personality disorder.

The main features of histrionic personality disorder (HPD) are self-dramatization and a set of attention-seeking behaviors that include seductiveness, exaggerated displays of emotions, and demands for reassurance and praise. Such emotional displays are manipulative and are aimed at attracting attention and sympathy. They always try to be the center of attention. Seductive or sexually provocative behavior is a way they use to seek attention. They tend to be frequently and inappropriately flirtatious. Initially, they seem to creative, entertaining, and charming, but later turn out to be shallow and self-centered.

Maintaining a relationship with histrionic personalities can be exhaustive. Their relationships are fragile. They often alienate their friends with their demands for constant attention. They are easily bored and highly susceptible to group pressures. Their frequent seductiveness makes it challenging for them to have friendships with the same sex. Individuals with HPD are quick to make friends, but have a difficult time keeping them. Since they are easily bored, they often quickly abandon a friend when they meet someone else they find more interesting.

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) mainly features extreme vanity, grandiosity, and a need for admiration. People with NPD seek attention and demand admiration. They are highly self-centered and lack empathy. They brag about their achievements and entertain grandiose ideas about their abilities. They are prone to feelings of rage and humiliation if others ignore or criticize them. They also, at times, tend to behave irresponsibly, to the extent of being anti-social. They believe of themselves to be unique and deserving of special treatment. They behave in such a manner to protect their weak self-image.

Relationships of people with NPD are usually superficial and difficult. They are exploitative, choosing friends on the basis of what they can get from them. They demand a lot of favours and give little in return. They usually form friendships or romantic relationships if the person seems to enhance their self-esteem. They alienate others with their inflated self-esteem, excessive bragging, and exaggeration of their abilities. Due to all this people with NPD have long histories erratic interpersonal relationships.

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is primarily marked by instability of mood, self-image, and interpersonal relationships. It involves difficulties in establishing a secure self-identity, distrust, impulsive and self-destructive behavior, and difficulty in controlling anger and other emotions. They also experience major episodes of depression, which is linked feelings of extreme self-condemnation, feelings of emptiness, and fears of abandonment.

People with BPD have stormy and unstable relationships. They want close and meaningful relationships, but their unpredictability drives others away. Their excessive moody, needy, and demanding behavior makes them very difficult fiends or partners. Their relationships are filled passion, love, and hate. For them people are either all good or all bad. At one moment a person can be kind and generous for them, and at the other moment, the same person can be cruel and evil. Dealing with people with BPD is extremely difficult. Even if they want to, others cannot end their relationship with them. An intense fear of rejection and abandonment causes these people to behave frantically and desperately to seek attention of others. Such behaviors mainly include suicide attempts and self-mutilation. Because they lack stable relationships, people with BPD are always accompanied by feelings of loneliness.

Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) by a persistent and pervasive disregard for and violation of the rights of others. They have a predatory attitude towards other people. They are continuously engaged in behaviors that are harmful to others and are indifferent towards how their behavior might affect others. They show a consistent failure to obey the law and may engage in such acts as destruction of property, harassing others, or theft. They do not feel any guilt for the acts they do. They are cynical, callous, arrogant, extremely intelligent and at times charming. They are manipulative and potentially dangerous people.

People with ASPD usually have turbulent relationships. They are often irritable and aggressive and indulge in physical fights. Their aggression may extent to family members. People with ASPD are often involved in domestic violence. As parents they may be extremely irresponsible, abandoning their children and family members on the spur of moment without arranging any financial support.

This is the end of Part II. The next (and final) part will be about the relationships of people with personality disorders that come under the anxious/fearful cluster.

[PART III]

THE RELATIONSHIPS OF PEOPLE WITH PERSONALITY DISORDERS (PART I)

2011-01-30T11:48:00.022+05:30

This article will be posted in three different parts.

A personality disorder is defined as an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the individual’s culture, is pervasive and inflexible, and has an onset in adolescence or early adulthood, is stable over time, and leads to distress or impairment.

Personality disorders can be understood in terms of personality traits. Personality traits are relatively stable and long lasting patterns of thoughts, actions, and feelings, which are unique to each individual. These traits determine each person to behave in a usual manner. When these traits become inflexible and maladaptive in such a way that they cause a lot of distress and functional impairment, then it becomes a personality disorder.

People with personality disorders consistently display distorted ways of thinking, expressing emotions, controlling behavior, and interacting with others. This becomes highly problematic not only for them, but for others who interact with them. In fact, it has been found in some instances that people with personality disorders create less trouble for themselves and more for others with whom they interact with. It is this feature of people with personality disorders that makes it intriguing to have a closer look at the kind of relationships they maybe having with others.

There are mainly ten different types of personality disorders, which are divided into three categories or clusters. The three clusters of personality disorders are: odd/eccentric, dramatic/emotional/erratic, and anxious/fearful.

The odd/eccentric cluster comprises of three personality disorders, which are: paranoid personality disorder, schizoid personality disorder, and schizotypal personality disorder.

Paranoid personality disorder (PPD) mainly characterizes of being overly suspicious and extremely mistrustful. They always have the feeling that others will harm them or take advantage of them, even if they do not have any evidence of it. They feel suspicious in almost all situations and with almost all people. They are argumentative, become aggressive easily, experience intense jealousy, are humourless, and unemotional, which makes them appear to dislike others and be incapable of intimacy. All this makes a drastic effect on their social and emotional adjustment.

People with PPD have significant problems in their social relationships. They have very few friends, which do not last long due to their suspiciousness towards them. They have trouble in forgiving and forgetting. They constantly question the motives of their colleagues, friends, and family, and doubt their loyalty and trustworthiness. They also do not confide with others because they feel that the information that they will share will be used against them. They act distant, cold, and tend to avoid groups. Due to their continuous suspiciousness of others’ motives, they usually spend their life as a loner.

The main features of schizoid personality disorder (SPD) are a severely restricted range of emotions and an indifference to social relationships. Schizoid personalities experience a constant emotional blandness. They do not seem to experience the emotions, such as warmth, pleasure, disappointment, hurt, which are part of ordinary social life. In severe cases they are completely unable to seek pleasure.

In general people with SPD are unskilled in social situations. Due to their social awkwardness, they appear to be superficial or self-absorbed. They are incapable of noticing other people’s social, emotional, and interpersonal cues. They appear to have little or no interest in relationships. They are detached from other people, prefer to be alone, and are mostly involved in solitary activities. They are typically indifferent to potential romances and friendships. They are often distant from their families, they rarely marry, and have no close friends. Apart from a relative, such as a parent or a sibling, they rarely maintain a close relationship.

People with schizotypal personality disorder (STPD) manifest odd speech, behavior, thinking, and perception. They exhibit a highly eccentric behavior, such as they dress up and talk in an odd manner. They also claim to have magical thinking. For instance, they claim to predict the future, read the thoughts of others, and communicate with animals.

Schizotypal personalities experience social and emotional problems. They are socially isolated and tend to shun people. They are unskilled socially and are often unable to pick up social cues of others. Their idiosyncrasy and eccentricity makes others feel awkward and see them as socially stiff. This in turn makes them feel awkward around others. People with STPD seldom have close friends outside their own families, and other people tend to see them as silly or absurd. Unlike schizoid personality disorder, people with STPD get bothered by their lack of interpersonal relationships. They want to feel connected with people, but are unable to make social connections.

This is the end of Part I. The next part will be about the relationships of people with personality disorders that are in the dramatic/emotional/erratic cluster.

[PART II]

SOCIAL SKILLS AND WORK LIFE

2010-10-31T21:23:00.009+05:30

This article is loosely based on my research paper that I presented at the 6th Annual HR Meet, which was held in New Delhi.

Work is not just about technical skills. Knowing the technicalities of work are of course a necessity, because one has to know what is required to do. However, there are a number of other skills that go hand in hand with the technical skills that are highly important.

Any kind of work requires some kind of interaction with others. An individual in a workplace has to interact with all kinds of people. The person has to interact with the boss, colleagues, and people who are at lower positions. Therefore, getting along with people becomes essential. If the interaction is improper then it may create a lot of discomfort within the work environment.

Interaction with all kinds of people does not only imply people belonging to different positions, but it also implies individual differences, such as differences in personality. Every person has their own way of behaving. To have a congenial environment in the workplace, the individual has to have a proper interaction with each and every person keeping in mind their individual differences.

In a workplace, very often, an individual is required to work in a team. He/she may have people that are completely different from the individual. There may also be people who are somewhat moody and can be irritable. Some may also want things to go according to them, no matter what happens. Such people can be quite difficult to work with. Despite all this, the individual has to get along with everyone and work effectively with them.

At work, most of the interaction that takes place is work-related and thus getting along well with others becomes a factor in being successful on the job. Research shows that the major reason for which people lose their job is not because they do not know their work properly. It is because of inappropriate behavior and having difficulties with interpersonal relationships. Those who do not lose their job are stuck in one position and are not promoted.

Apart from appropriateness of behavior, having good interpersonal skills have been found to be very important in a workplace. Interpersonal skills include a varied range of skills, such as appropriate understanding of the situation and reacting accordingly, understanding the specific mood and emotions of others, being able to resolve conflicts, being able to channelize one’s own mood and emotions, not letting our emotions get the better of us, etc.

Having good interpersonal skills has been found to be majorly useful for managers. Research shows that the difference between a successful manager and a not-so-successful one is having good interpersonal skills. Good interpersonal skills are highly effective for team building and leadership activities. To make his/her subordinates to comply, a leader has to have good interpersonal skills.

Getting along well with others has also been found to be related to a highly significant aspect of work, which is job satisfaction. Working effectively with others not only enhances the quality of work, but it also enhances the quality of work life on the whole.

An individual spends a lot of his/her time at the workplace and thus having good relationships helps a lot in liking that particular job. It has been found that no matter how exciting a job maybe, if the individual does not get along well with others then he/she may not find the job to be interesting enough. On the other hand, if the individual has good and healthy relationships at the workplace then even the most routine job will seem to be enjoyable.

The work of a person constitutes a very significant aspect of one’s life. In some ways, the work a person does forms the identity of that person. Keeping this in view, it becomes very important that an individual enjoys the job that he/she is doing. To enjoy one’s job, it becomes important that the individual likes the surroundings and feels very comfortable at the workplace. Getting along well with others plays a very important role in achieving this.

An individual has to spend a lot of time with his/her co-workers. Perhaps the time spent with co-workers is more than that is spent with friends and family. Having good interpersonal relations and working effectively with others makes work hassle-free.

In today’s day and age everyone goes through a lot of work pressure, which leads to a very stressful life. A congenial work environment helps to a great degree in dealing with the work pressures and coping with stress. All this enhances the quality of work life, which in turn enhances the quality of our entire life. A stress-free work environment leads to a stress-free life.

Social skills can affect our work life in more ways than one. Having appropriate social skills in a workplace enables success on the job, enhancement of quality of work, job satisfaction, enhancement of the quality of work life, and good mental health. Therefore, appropriate social skills are equally important to the technical aspects of work, if not more than that. Socials skills, thus, play a very important role in our work life.

XENOGLOSSY: POSSIBLE EXPLANATIONS?

2010-08-07T17:30:00.010+05:30

This is a continuation of one of my previous articles about Xenoglossy. Xenoglossy is the alleged speaking of a language that is entirely unknown to the individual. The person speaks the language fluently, even though he/she has never heard it before. In my previous article, about xenoglossy, I had written about how it cannot be explained by the language acquisition theories. In this article I’ll be focusing on the possible explanations of xenoglossy.

Researchers have given a number of elucidations for xenoglossy. But, how much do these completely explicate xenoglossy is debatable.

The most widely researched explanation for xenoglossy is reincarnation. It is believed that when a person speaks a language that he/she has not heard of, then the person might be fluent in that language in his/her previous birth. The person at times begins to speak such a language because he/she was a person who could speak this language fluently in his/her previous incarnation. The speaking of that particular language becomes more accurate when the person is in a state of hypnosis.

Reincarnation has been given a lot of emphasis in parapsychology. There have been a number of researches as well as claims about it, but there has not yet been any clear evidence of it. It is a strong belief in a few religions, but is yet to be scientifically proven. Reincarnation could very well be an explanation for xenoglossy, but there are too many doubts about reincarnation itself. Till those doubts are not cleared, it makes it difficult to be an explanation for something else.

Spirit possession is another explanation that is given for xenoglossy. The person who suddenly starts speaking a language that he/she has not heard before is believed to be actually a spirit that has taken over the body of that person. It is believed that the person gets possessed by a spirit that speaks in the language that is unknown to that person. The spirit is said to be trying to reveal some kind of message by doing so.

Like reincarnation, spirit possession is something that has endless claims. The belief in spirits and spirit possession seems to be there since forever. There have even been eyewitnesses to spirit possession. It also has its roots in many religions. People have tried very hard to prove the existence of spirits. Some have used many high-tech devices through which they claim to have proven the presence of spirits at a particular moment. But, all this has turned out to be just speculation and nothing else.

Skeptics have their own interpretations of spirit possession. They say that spirit possession is an altered state of consciousness. According to them, there is no such thing as spirit possession. They believe that rather than being possessed by a spirit, the person is in a state of heightened energy levels due to which he/she performs unimaginable acts. These unimaginable acts make people believe that the person has been possessed by a spirit.

The high energy levels that the person experiences is one of the reasons given for the speaking of a language that the person has not heard before. But, no one really knows how does this actually happen. In all, even the interpretation of spirit possession by the skeptics does not do full justice to the explanation of xenoglossy.

Telepathy is something that is quite often used as an explanation for xenoglossy. Telepathy is the apparent transfer of information between two people through their mind, beyond the five senses of human beings. Individuals involved in telepathy claim to be reading the thoughts of each other. It is said that when a person speaks a language that he/she has never heard of, then that person is connected to someone else, through telepathy, who is actually speaking those words.

Telepathy is a widely talked about phenomenon. It seems to have been existing since ancient times. It is believed that only a person with an extremely high spiritual awareness can be involved in telepathy. This can quite possibly explicate xenoglossy. But, again there has never been any concrete evidence for telepathy and this weakens its claim to explain xenoglossy.

Probably the most captivating explanation of xenoglossy is the genetic transmission of language. Research shows that language has a genetic base. There is strong evidence that dyslexia has genetic factors. But, the same logic being used for xenoglossy is mootable. Perhaps more research in this area will shed greater light.

Among all the explanations of xenoglossy, the most valid one seems to be cryptonesia. Cryptonesia is the unconscious learning of a language. Every now and then people perceive a number of stimuli. It can be possible that a language that a person has never heard of may be unconsciously stored in the long term memory, only to be revealed in emotionally arousing situations.

The revealing of the unheard language in an emotionally arousing situation can be somewhat related to the concept of flashbulb memory. Flashbulb memories are highly detailed and vivid snapshots of previous events occurring due to something that is consequential or emotionally arousing. The same thing can be said about the speaking of a language that has been unconsciously learnt.

Cryptonesia can also be seen similar to subliminal perception and subliminal learning. Subliminal perception is the perception of stimuli that is beyond conscious awareness, which influences our thoughts, feelings, and actions. Likewise, subliminal learning is the learning that occurs unconsciously. There is ample of research evidence for both subliminal perception and subliminal learning.

Cryptonesia is not just about learning a language unconsciously. It has also been termed as the learning of a language in early childhood and then forgetting it with the passage of time leaving small traces of it in the memory. This is something that is very much plausible. In fact, this is exactly what has been found out to be in a few cases of xenoglossy.

However, cryptonesia explains xenoglossy only partially. No matter how valid cryptonesia is in explaining xenoglossy, it still falls short in explicating it completely. In some cases of xenoglossy, the whole history of the person has been traced and it has been found that the person has never been exposed to the language, even unconsciously.

Apart from that, in some cases the person has been found to speak an extremely ancient language that has been extinct since ages. There have also been cases in which a person speaks a language that has never existed or is unimaginable. For instance, in one case it was found out to be that the person was speaking the language of Atlantis and in another the person was found out to be speaking the language of Mars.

One can question that how did researchers come to figure out that the person is speaking a language of some place that does not even exist or does not have any life. It might sound to be absolutely weird, but even if we exclude the language of Atlantis and Mars, the speaking of an ancient and extinct language cannot be explained by cryptonesia. This is what also weakens the claim of telepathy being one of the explanations of xenoglossy.

There have been many ways in which researchers have tried to explain xenoglossy. None of them have been able to display any clarity about it. Cryptonesia can be said to be something that comes really close to give some clarifications about xenoglossy. However, it does so only partially. Perhaps we may never be able to completely know the mystery behind it.

Whatever may be the explanation, one thing that cannot be denied is that the phenomenon of xenoglossy is highly numinous and intriguing in nature.

PS: To read more about Xenoglossy, refer to my article, Xenoglossy: Is It Really Possible?

SELF-SATISFACTION: THE ULTIMATE GOAL OF LIFE

2010-06-16T19:38:00.009+05:30

Almost everyone, at some point or the other in their life, might have asked themselves about the reason of their birth, the purpose of their life, and the goals that they would like to pursue. These questions, if left unanswered continuously keep posing troubles to the individual and lead to an unknown displeasure and unhappiness.

No matter how much success a person gets, no matter how rich a person becomes, and no matter how many goals are achieved, somehow these questions keep on confronting the person. This will continue until and unless such accomplishments do not lead to self-satisfaction.

The only answer to these questions is to seek self-satisfaction. It is self-satisfaction that can keep an individual away from these troubling questions. Self-satisfaction should thus be the sole quest for human beings. Self-satisfaction should therefore be the ultimate goal of life.

Self-satisfaction is a sense of absolute fulfillment with oneself and ones accomplishments. As simple as may it sound, achieving self-satisfaction is not at all an easy task. But, there are ways in which one can constantly look out for self-satisfaction and in the process find answers to the many unanswered questions that life imposes upon us.

Victor Frankl talked about meaning of life and will to meaning, which means that if an individual has certain meaningfulness in life, then that becomes a driving force for the individual to move forward in life. Frankl says that people tend to go through a blandness or emptiness in life, which refers to existential vacuum and not being able to come out of it is known as existential crisis. The will to meaning helps an individual to overcome this existential crisis. According to Frankl, if a person has a meaning of life, then he/she can survive the toughest conditions of life and come out of it in a positive manner. This will to meaning enables the individual a personal choice to grow and develop, which leads to triumph and self-fulfillment.

According to Frankl, when people go through existential crisis, they try to fill the void by guiding themselves by conformity, conventionality, and traditionality, which do not provide any kind of help. People do not use the freedom to make their own choices in life in order to find their own meaning.

Frankl suggests three ways of finding meaning in life. The first is by experiencing something or someone valued by the individual. This mainly includes experiencing the value of another person such as parents, siblings, friends, lover, etc. In order to develop meaning in the life of the valued person, the individual can develop meaning in his/her own life. The second is by involving oneself in creative deeds such as art, music, writing, invention, etc. The third is by developing virtues such as compassion, bravery, good sense of humour, etc. Once a person finds meaning in life, he/she sets off to a journey of achieving self-satisfaction.

Carl Rogers talks about congruence and incongruence. According to him, people have a real self and an ideal self. The real self is what the person actually is or can be. It is the true potential of the person. The ideal self is what the person feels that he/she should be, which may not be the real potential of the person. People, at times, tend to move towards their ideal self rather than their real self, due to expectations or external pressure. This creates a gap between real self and ideal self. Rogers calls this gap as incongruence. If there is no gap between a person’s real self and ideal self then it is referred to as congruence. In a state of congruence, the individual is well-adjusted and mentally healthy and is maladjusted in the state of incongruence. The more the gap between the real self and the ideal self, the more there is inner conflict and displeasure. The individual feels threatened and anxious. They become defensive, and their thinking becomes rigid and constricted.

For instance, a youngster has his/her own interests and is perhaps very good at it, but chooses not to take it up as a career because it is quite risky and decides to go for something that is more secure. Going for a career that is more secure is more acceptable in the eyes of others and also somewhat guarantees quick success. Here, the real self of the person is that he/she is good in some other activity. But, due to external demands he/she prefers to go away from his/her real potential and prefers to go for something that is more secure. This might prove to be worthwhile initially, but in the long run it only gives dissatisfaction. There is no harm in going for something that is more secure, but it should not be at the expense of one’s true potential and definitely not at the expense of satisfaction.

According to Rogers, we should try not to conform to the expectations of others. We should rather come to terms with our own nature, trust one’s own experience, and accept the fact that other people are different. In this way, the gap between the real self and the ideal self will become lesser and a state of congruence will come into place. Once this happens, in terms of Rogers, the person is said to have become oneself. The becoming of one’s self makes the person what Rogers calls a fully functioning person. The fully functioning person, according to Rogers, acknowledges and expresses all his/her feelings, has no rigidity and preconceptions about what he/she should be, make and rely on their own decisions, acknowledges the feeling of freedom and takes responsibility of his/her decisions, and contributes to life. Becoming oneself and being a fully functioning person brings the person closer and closer to self-satisfaction.

Abraham Maslow talked about self-actualization. Self-actualization is the desire to become more and more what one idiosyncratically is and it is to become everything that one is capable of becoming. It involves the continuous desire to fulfill potentials and become the most complete, the fullest.

According to Maslow, people who have achieved self-actualization have some distinguished features. Self-actualized people are realistically oriented; they accept themselves, others, and the natural world for what they are; they have a lot of spontaneity; they are problem-centered instead of giving up to life difficulties; they have a need for privacy; they are autonomous and independent; they do not buy into stereotypes; they have few intimate relationships that are deeply emotional rather than having shallow relationships with many people; they do not confuse means with ends; they have a philosophical sense of humour, preferably directed towards themselves rather than being directed to others; they have a great ability to be creative; they are non-conformists; and they are open to individual variety.

Apart from this, self-actualization involves what Maslow calls peak experiences. This is a feeling of being more integrated, more at one with the world, more their own boss, more spontaneous, less aware of space and time, and being more perceptive. Being self-actualized and having peak experiences that Maslow talks about, is more or less being self-satisfied.

People should be intrinsically motivated in the things that they do. Intrinsic motivation is the motivation that comes from within the individual rather than from external factors such as money or high status. It is the motivation that comes from the pleasure that one gets from the task itself or from the sense of satisfaction that one gets in completing or even working on a task. Being intrinsically motivated is to be motivated by self-generated factors such as responsibility, freedom to act, development and use of skills and abilities, interesting and challenging work, and opportunities for advancement. These factors have a deeper and longer-term effect.

Usually, in order to earn their bread and butter, people choose a particular career as their work and they have their hobbies for leisure time. They keep their work and hobbies as two distinct things. It will be a lot better if people make their hobby as their work and career. A hobby is something that people enjoy to do and use it as a stress buster when they get tired of their work. Instead, if their hobby becomes their work then they will enjoy their work and be happy with the kind of work they will be doing. This will make them intrinsically motivated towards their work. Not only it will make them enjoy their work, but it will also drive them to excel in it.

The work of a person plays a very major role in one’s life. Work should not be seen as something that is burdensome; it should be something that is fun. If a person’s hobby becomes his/her work then he/she will have more and more interest in it, which will give a sense of satisfaction. When a person gets up in the morning, he/she should not say, “oh no, I have to work.” He/she should rather be excited and say, “oh yes, I am going to work.” This excitement and joy can only be there if the person is intrinsically motivated towards work, which can only happen if the person’s hobby becomes his/her work. In the long run, this will become an immense source of satisfaction.

A high level of self-awareness is required for self-satisfaction. An individual should have a realization of his/her strengths and weaknesses. This will make the person know about how good or bad he/she is at various things. This will also make the person more focused and will enable him/her to know exactly what he/she wants from life. When a person knows exactly what he/she wants to do, it generates an immense amount of positive feeling within that person and leads to a lot of self-worth.

This high level of self-awareness is very much similar to what Howard Gardner calls intrapersonal intelligence. People who are high on intrapersonal intelligence have a good capacity of being introspective and self-reflective. They are intuitive and skillful in recognizing their own feelings and motivations. It includes having a deep level of understanding, knowing ones strengths and weaknesses, realization of what makes one unique, and having the ability to predict one’s own reactions and emotions.

A high level of self-awareness or being high on intrapersonal intelligence also enables the individual to understand the meaning of success in its true sense. Success has different meanings for different people. There are individual differences in what people may desire and their meaning of success differentiates accordingly. Knowing one’s strengths and weaknesses gives a clear picture of these individual differences. This realization helps in coping with failure to a great extent and leads to a lot of emotional stability, which in the long run helps in getting close to self-satisfaction.

The realization of the true meaning of success also leads the person not to make inappropriate social comparisons. Comparing oneself with others is a very common phenomenon and it can turn out to be quite useful in assessing oneself. However, this may also be misleading. If one person is strong in a particular ability then it does not mean that the other person also is strong in that ability. Someone else, due to various reasons, might get success easily. Comparing oneself with that person might be disheartening and may make the person become impatient and lose focus. Rather than following his/her own interests, the person might try to do something else in which he/she may not be that good in. While comparing himself/herself with the other person, the individual might have a sense failure, which is wrong. That person is successful in his/her own way and making comparisons with him/her is inappropriate, which should not be done.

Delay of gratification is something that becomes very important in achieving self-satisfaction. People, at times, forget about their larger goals and become satisfied by smaller and relatively insignificant goals. They also, at times, ignore their larger goals in order to achieve the smaller ones. It is true that achieving small things is important, but it should not be at the expense of the larger goals that are in fact the main goals of the individual. An individual might achieve something that gives immediate pleasure and in the bargain may not be able to look at the larger picture. This can be harmful and cause dissatisfaction in the long run. The person should rather be sensible enough and be able to assess things properly. This may require ignoring the small, little pleasures in order to achieve the larger and much more satisfying goals in life.

Life can be highly unpredictable. Various ups and downs may occur throughout one’s life. There are moments of happiness as well as sadness. All this may create a lot of instability within oneself. The only way to maintain a proper composure in life is to seek and eventually achieve self-satisfaction. It is the seeking of self-satisfaction that guides the person through all the turbulence of life. Achieving self-satisfaction should be the main criteria in whatever the person wants to do.

COMIC BOOK HEROES: IMPLICATIONS OF PSYCHOPATHOLOGY

2010-03-22T21:21:00.024+05:30

Comic book heroes are known for their amazing supernatural powers and abilities of overcoming the odds. They are quite popular and loved by all. But, few have realized that despite having super-powers, many of the comic book heroes live with certain psychopathologies. It is this aspect that makes these characters more interesting.

Among all the superheroes, Superman is perhaps the most popular. Superman is known for his supreme strength and invincibility. He is known as the man of steel. But, there is also a different side of the same invincible Superman.

Superman has come from a different planet. He is the sole survivor of the planet Krypton and was

sent to Earth by his father, before the planet got completely destroyed. He had his powers right from his early childhood. Due to being from a different planet and having a number of super-powers, Superman, very early in his childhood, realized that he is different from his surroundings. He could not relate to anybody. No matter how much he tried to be like others, he could not be so, because of all his powers. Initially, his powers were more of a burden to him and caused a lot of frustration.

Since he could not relate to others, he often felt very lonely and alone. He always used to keep to himself and was perceived to be a very shy person. He also very often slipped into episodes of depression.

The other side of Superman, Clark Kent, is known to be a very shy, clumsy, and goofy kind of a person. He is also highly self-conscious and prefers to be self-involved. However, despite having all these characteristics, Clark Kent is actually Superman.

After Superman, Batman is another highly popular super-hero. He may not be having any super-powers like Superman, but his intellect, courage, and his high-tech devices and utilities are no less than any other super-power.

Batman experienced a very tragic incident in his childhood. He witnessed both his parents being killed by criminals. In order to save himself from those criminals, he fell into a dark pit that was full of bats. This made him develop a fear of darkness and bats. Because of this fear, when he grew up, he made a bat-suit for himself and began to go out at night to look out for criminals and put them behind bars. Thus, he came to be known as Batman. He did this to overcome his fear of darkness and bats.

As mentioned above, Batman witnessed both of his parents being killed by criminals. This event was a highly traumatic one for him. It led him to develop Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which is a severe anxiety disorder that occurs after being exposed to a psychological trauma. Due PTSD, Batman re-experiences the same events time and again through flashbacks that occur in his mind. He also has nightmares of the same episode. He also experiences sleeping problems as well as anger.

Bruce Wayne, the other side of Batman, is a suave business tycoon. He is one of the most admirable and respectable figures of Gotham city. Bruce Wayne is a charmer and is highly confident. His self-confidence is to such an extreme that signs of narcissism are clearly visible. Therefore, it can be seen that even though he is Batman, he is phobic, has PTSD, and is a narcissist.

Spiderman is also one of the most popular superheroes. Because of his young age and agility, he

is sometimes referred to be the representative of youth. The other side of Spiderman, Peter Parker, is a geeky science student who works part-time as a reporter. He is highly self-conscious and has a lot of social anxiety. He is always made fun of by his peers for being nerdy. He is so shy that he cannot even muster up the courage to express his love for his childhood sweetheart, Mary Jane. However, despite having such characteristics, he is still the courageous Spiderman.

Psychopathological symptoms can be clearly found in the X-men, a team of superheroes who are actually mutants. They were born with special powers due to the possession of a genetic trait known as the X-gene. Because of these special abilities they have always found themselves to be different. The initial discovery of their powers has been more of a shock to them. They lived in a fear of mistakenly harming others by their powers. This fear led them to a feeling of inadequacy and severe depression. It also led to them to social isolation.

Professor Xavier, himself being a mutant, built an institute for such mutants in order to help them to overcome their inadequacy and also use their powers to serve humanity and called them the X-men. In this institute, the mutants are taken care of and are made to believe that they are not alone in this world.

This can be very well compared to a feature of group psychotherapy. In group psychotherapy, therapeutic sessions are carried out with people who have similar psychological disorders. This gives them a feeling of universalization, which is a feeling that they are not the only ones in this world that have such problems. The feeling of universalization helps a lot in the treatment of these people. In the same way, the mutants have a feeling of universalization in the institute built by Professor Xavier.

Among all the of the X-men, the Wolverine is the most popular. He is a loner and has a brooding

nature. Of the many special abilities that he has, the most fascinating is the ability to heal quickly from all kinds of wounds. This has made him live a very long life, which is beyond the normal human lifespan. Perhaps, it is because of this that he is a loner. The Wolverine was bonded with an indestructible metal alloy into his skeleton that work as his claws. This was a very traumatic experience for him and he continuously has flashbacks of that incident as well as sleepless nights that are very troublesome for him. These are clear signs of post-traumatic stress disorder. However, the Wolverine is known to cope with all this quite effectively.

(There are obviously many other superheroes other than the ones that have been aforementioned. But I have mentioned only those that are my favourites and that according to me are the most well-known comic book heroes).

Psycho-pathological symptoms are something that no one would like to have. But, those who have it have to live with it. Common people who have such symptoms find it to be highly embarrassing and do not like to mention it in front of others. Because of these symptoms, they constantly try to stay away from others and in a way exacerbate them. These symptoms make them feel like an oddity in a world of normal people.

Rather than thinking of themselves as an oddity, they should take inspiration from these comic book heroes. They should learn to accept their psychopathologies and live like any other person belonging to this world. They should try hard to overcome their feelings of inadequacy and live a satisfied life. If superheroes can have psychopathological symptoms, then why cannot a common man?

RELATIONSHIP INSECURITY MAKES MATTERS WORSE

2010-01-07T15:30:00.011+05:30

Relationships are perhaps one of the most important aspects of any individual’s life. Without relationships, life seems to be listless. Research shows that one of the most important causes of a healthy and satisfied life is having good and healthy relationships.

This explains why people are, generally, desirous of having good and healthy relationships. For some people this desire becomes too strong and develops into a fear of losing their relationship (friendship, romantic relationship, etc.).

Some people, due to various reasons, have had a history of not having satisfying relationships or their relationships not turning out as expected. These continuous experiences become extremely hurtful and distressing. After a while a certain kind of fearfulness towards relationships starts to creep in within such individuals. They develop a fear of losing a relationship, which has a potential to become highly satisfying.

Such people begin to experience a certain kind of conflict within them. Their previous experiences, regarding relationships, on the one hand increases their desire to have at least one highly satisfying relationship and at the same time they develop a feeling to avoid people in order to not to get hurt again. They feel that if they become close to another person then sooner or later that relationship will suffer the same fate of their previous relationships.

Although there is the presence of the feeling of avoidance towards relationships, the desire of having a good relationship keeps pushing them towards the person with whom they feel close to and have a certain comforting feeling.

When such an individual initially gets to know a person whom he/she thinks to be a potentially satisfying relationship, he/she first keeps a distance. But when the individual develops a sense of comfort level with that person, then that feeling of avoidance gradually begins to diminish. However, this is also accompanied with a fear of perhaps one day losing that person and getting hurt once again.

Despite this constant fear, the comfort level and the liking that the individual has towards the other person, draws him/her more and more towards that person. This gives rise to another conflict in which the individual wants to be closer to the person but also thinks that he/she might get hurt again.

All this becomes too complicated for the individual, which leads the person to think that no matter what happens, he/she will not lose that person and will develop a relationship that has a lot of depth and has many emotions involved. This is where everything begins to go wrong.

The individual becomes completely insecure and wants to do everything to not only sustain the relationship for a longer period of time, but also to make it more and more intimate. For instance, the individual might begin to develop unreasonable expectations from the other person and act according to those expectations. Obviously, most of the times those expectations are not fulfilled which leads the person to complain about them with the other person.

Apart from developing unreasonable expectations, the individual also begins to make unreasonable demands. As the expectations become unfulfilled, similarly these demands are unable to be fulfilled. Due to all this, the individual becomes upset and gradually the fear of losing that person begins to increase. This increasing of fear makes the individual extremely desperate in order to make the relationship better and to make it continue for a longer period.

The expectations, complaints, and demands begin to make the other person a little uncomfortable. While all this is going on, the other person continuously begins to feel uncomfortable and in order to stay away from that discomfort he/she begins to distance himself/herself from that individual. The person, initially may not want to do that, but is perhaps not left with any other option. The desperation of the individual also does not do any good for all this. Gradually the discomfort felt by the other person turns into annoyance, which further may develop into disliking the individual.

The behavior of both of these people begins to resemble that of like poles. Like poles repel and similarly, on the one hand, the individual is getting desperate to be closer and closer to the other person and on the other hand, the person disliking this behavior begins to move farther away. The more desperate the individual gets the farther the other person moves away.

When this keeps on happening, there comes a time when the person cannot take it anymore. The other person perhaps gets fed up and thinks that the only way to feel better is to end the budding relationship. Eventually, this is exactly what happens and a relationship that had a potential to be highly intimate and satisfying ends without anybody’s fault. The relationship insecurity of the individual makes him/her desperate and continuous annoyance caused by that desperation makes the other person end the relationship. In this way all the fears of losing the person comes true.

Thus, the condition of the individual gets back to square one. The individual gets hurt again and in a way his/her fear of losing a relationship increases even more. He/she ends up being in the same position from where he/she started. The only change is that the intensity of the fear of losing a relationship might have increased a lot more. The initial conflict between avoidance and a desire of being close to someone remerges with an increased amount of intensity.

The insecurity in relationships that the individual had been carrying on makes matters worse. A relationship that has all the potential to develop into one that he/she desires does not flourish as expected only because of the insecurities that the individual may have. There is a complete irony. The desire of wanting more leads to getting nothing at all.

Although it is easier said than done, people with relationship insecurity should learn that nothing can be made to happen. A relationship should take its natural course into developing into an intimate and highly satisfying one. The more an individual forces things to happen the worse it gets.

Also, people at the receiving end should try to be a little understanding towards the person who has been carrying such insecurities throughout his/her life. This of course is not at all easy, because everyone requires their space and need their own time to develop a certain level of trust. The other person wanting things to develop naturally may misinterpret the intentions of the individual. But, if the person has a certain understanding about the individual then things can quite possibly be handled in a slightly different manner.

As mentioned above, things are not as easy as they may seem to be. The whole situation becomes too complicated for both. The individual unintentionally becomes desperate. The desire of getting closer to the other person actually drives the person away. Relationship insecurity, thus, becomes the cause of ending the relationship itself.

CHANGE SHOULD NOT BE FORCIBLE

2009-11-05T14:40:00.014+05:30

People have their own unique charecteristics and their own way to behave. There is no set rule or norm in which a person has to behave. Despite this, the society, many a times, finds some behaviours and charcteristics of people to be appropriate and some to be inappropriate or unappreciable.

For instance, there are people who are shy, do not have very good people skills, and may lack to a certain amount in having effective communication skills. These people behave in such a way, because this is the way they are. They have had their own upbringing, socialization, and their own kind of experiences, which has led them to behave in such a way. In short, this the way they are.

It is true that they behave in the way that they are. However, there are situations in which a person is required to behave in a certain way. In some situations they may have to be bold and upfront. They may be required to take the initiative and get noticed. Since they lack the skills to behave appropriately in such situations, they may feel inadequate and miserable, and therefore get noticed for the wrong reasons.

Such behaviour is usually unappreciable by the so-called society and getting noticed for that particular behaviour raises concerns for such people. If the society does not appreciate a certain kind of behaviour, they may either shun that person or expect them and want them to change. This requirement of change is most of the time forced or imposed on the individual, especially by his/her near and dear ones.

Change, over here, would require the person to be bold, cheerful, influential, etc. There is no doubt that such behaviour is highly appreciable by the society. Given an opportunity, almost everyone would want to be like this. Nobody would like to feel inadequate in social situations.

But, people who are on the other extreme, cannot help it. As mentioned above, they behave in such a way because that is the way they are. In the same way, a person who is bold, cheerful, etc. behaves in such a way because that is the way he/she is.

Nevertheless, feeling inadequate in ceratin situations and letting it be, is not any kind of solution. This will further complicate things for the person concerned. Therefore, for a healthy adjustment and positive subjective wellbeing, change is required.

Change is a natural process. The results are best if it happens naturally. Forcing a person to change does not in any way prove to be fruitful for that person. The person himself/herself is not satisfied in feeling inadequate in social situations. The feeling of inadequacy, day by day, just gets to the individual. Somewhere, deep down inside, the individual himself/herself wants to change in order to come out of that negativity.

On the other hand, when the individual is pressurized by peers, friends, family, and others it brings about a kind of resistance within that person. Nobody wants to be forced and pressurized or being pushed by others. Thus, the voluntary desire to change becomes a resistance and stubbornness of not to change.

When the individual is forced, time and again, the resistance and stubbornness keeps on increasing. The person is already not being appreciated by the society; this overt resistance strengthens the abhorrence of others. The resistance of the individual and the increased abhorrence by others may become too much for the person. Gradually, the individual becomes overpowered by the negativity that surrounds him/her.

Rather than forcing the person to change, he/she should be given the opportunity to bring about that change himself/herself. The individual has gone through his/her own experiences that make the person that he/she is. The person should be allowed to have more and more experiences that may naturally bring about the change that is required.

Change is a recurring process. It is one of the basic requirements of human nature. When the need comes, there always must be a change. As long as the change is natural, it is beneficial for an individual. The moment the change is imposed on the person, it creates an unhealthy resistance.

Change should always be natural. A change that is forced is absolutely unnatural and unhealthy. It only brings about strong resistance, negativity, and maladjustment. It may further lead to faulty behaviour patterns within the individual. Therefore, change should not be forcible.

WHEN TRAIT AND STATE LONELINESS COME TOGETHER

2009-08-27T20:57:00.008+05:30

Loneliness can be broadly classified in two ways – state loneliness and trait loneliness. State loneliness is temporary and lasts for a short period of time. It largely depends on the situation that the person is in. Trait loneliness is stable and enduring. It does not have anything to do with the situation. It occurs irrespective of the kind of situation that the person is in.

State loneliness usually occurs when a person moves to a new place, like the person might move to a new city to work or to study. The individual does not know anybody in the new place and finds the whole place to be quite unfamiliar. This situation makes the person feel lonely. But, as the person spends time over there, he/she gradually becomes accustomed to the place, meets different people, and makes new friends. In this way, the person, after some time, overcomes his/her loneliness.

However, this is not the case with trait loneliness. In trait loneliness, the inherent traits of the person make him/her feel lonely. The traits of the person become the cause of his/her loneliness. For a person who has trait loneliness, the situation does not really matter. The person feels lonely even if he/she is in a familiar place. Familiarity of people and place has no or little affect on such individual’s loneliness and thus, their loneliness remains stable and lasts for a much longer period of time.

Trait loneliness is a cause of concern. It leads to many other psychological problems, such as depression, and if remained unchecked, it becomes difficult to control its severity, which can prove to be extremely fatal. State loneliness, on the other hand, is quite a common phenomenon. But, despite the fact that it is common and lasts for a short period of time, it is still troublesome for the little time that it lasts.

There are times when a person with trait loneliness comes into a situation that is not familiar to him/her. For instance, a person with trait loneliness moves out to a new place. Loneliness in any form is painful, though it might differ according to the kind of loneliness. So, when trait loneliness interacts with state loneliness then it becomes highly problematic for the individual.

When both trait and state loneliness come together, they mutually affect each other. They both get intertwined in such a way that one becomes the cause of the other and one enhances the severity of the other. This whole condition gives rise to a new highly complicated condition, which means more and more trouble for the individual. This new condition can be termed as state-trait loneliness.

Usually state loneliness gets over after a person gets well accustomed in a new place. But, for a person who has trait loneliness, adjusting to a new place does not come easily. A person with trait loneliness has a number of social skills problems that obstruct him/her to familiarize himself/herself in a new place. For instance, the individual is shy and has social anxiety. This causes the person to face adjustment problems. Such a person feels left out in familiar situations, so one can imagine what the person goes through if he/she is in an unfamiliar situation.

In a way, it can be said that trait loneliness prolongs the time period of state loneliness. The same state loneliness that gets over within a few days or weeks for others is prolonged almost indefinitely for a person with trait loneliness.

Since state loneliness is prolonged, it increases the troubles for the individual. This further has a negative affect on trait loneliness. The characteristics related to trait loneliness, like melancholy, shyness, being socially anxious, depression, etc. get intensified. Trait loneliness becomes more and more exacerbated.

This whole condition causes the person to lose complete interest in all activities, both personally as well as socially. The individual begins to suffer from state anhedonia. Anhedonia is the total loss of interest in activities and an inability to experience pleasure, even from normal pleasurable activities. It makes the person face a great level of boredom. State anhedonia is the same, the difference being that it is only a temporary condition. But, nobody knows for how long that temporary condition will last. It may last for a couple of months or even longer.

The characteristics that always caused trouble for a person with trait loneliness get intensified and are coupled with state anhedonia. In all, the person with state-trait loneliness is in a completely miserable condition. It becomes very difficult for the person to come out from such a situation.

The only solution for such a person, apart from professional help, is that the person should get involved in such activities that have certain fixed schedules. In such activities the person will have to follow certain norms that will automatically require him/her to stick to those schedules. It will obviously be difficult initially, but a fixed schedule will be quite helpful.

Following a fixed schedule will make the person be actively involved in something or the other. If this happens for a long time then it may help the person in overcoming from state anhedonia. Overcoming from state anhedonia will further help in decreasing the severity of state loneliness. This will at least help the individual to try to come out from the condition of state-trait loneliness.

After a while when the person finally overcomes state loneliness, gets accustomed in the new environment, and gradually begins to like his/her surroundings, it may even help in decreasing the severity of trait loneliness to some extent, if not completely overcoming it.

Of course all this is not that simple. Nothing much can be said about how long the whole process will take.

Trait and state loneliness are, both, troublesome in their own way. Both have there own kind of problems. When trait and state loneliness come together, these problems are intensified and both enhance the severity of each other, which leads to a highly complicated and problematic condition. Coming out of this condition seems to be extremely difficult.

PS: To read more about loneliness and related issues, refer to my articles, Loneliness: A Harbinger To Aloneness and Loneliness: The Role That It Plays On A Student's Academic Performance

BORN TO BE SAD

2009-07-29T15:46:00.011+05:30

Happiness is something that is desired by all. But, for some people that happiness becomes very difficult to achieve. No matter how happy they would like to feel, they are, most of the times, overpowered by the emotion of sadness.

For some people, sadness may occur without any reason. They are sad for no reason at all. This is because their brain and neural circuitry is developed in such a way that most of the times they are sad. Their brain is developed in such a way right from birth or very nearly from birth. Thus, in a way, it can be said that they are born like this. They are sad, because this is the way they are.

The developments of brain imaging techniques in studying the brain have helped a lot in understanding such behaviour. Recent studies have found that sadness is associated with reciprocal increases in activation of limbic areas (brain areas responsible for emotions) and decreases in activation of frontal cortical areas (brain areas responsible for many cognitive and motor abilities). People who are melancholic have been found to have relatively greater levels of brain activity in their right frontal lobe (the front-right side of the brain). They experience negativity and sour moods. They are also easily fazed by the difficulties of life.

Research shows that the brains of depressed individuals look different from those who are not depressed. (Depression is not exactly sadness, but sadness is one of the major symptoms of depression. There are many other things related to depression).

People with depression seem to have brain abnormalities. Depressed people have a reduced volume in the frontal lobe (front side of the brain), the hippocampus, and the basal ganglia, all of which are brain regions that are involved in mood regulation. Research also shows that people who are depressed have lower levels of brain activity in the left frontal lobe (the front-left side of the brain) and higher on the right frontal lobe (the front-right side of the brain) compared to those who are not depressed.

Depression is also caused by a number of hormonal imbalances as well as imbalances in the level of some neurotransmitters (chemicals in the brain that the brain cells use to communicate). Studies indicate that depression is due to a malfunction of the hypothalamus, a part in the brain known to regulate mood. The hypothalamus produces many hormones. A malfunction in the hypothalamus causes an abnormality in the production of those hormones, which leads to a person being depressed.

Depressed people often have an abnormally low thyroid hormone levels. They also have enlarged pituitary and adrenal glands. Depressed people also have abnormalities in the neurons of the hypothalamus. Depression is also caused by low levels of the neurotransmitters, known as norepinephrine and serotonin, in the brain.

Apart from that, depression is also known to be genetic. People who have a family history of depression have a higher risk to be depressed compared to those individuals who do not.

Although some individuals develop these brain abnormalities right from birth or very nearly from birth, it does not necessarily mean that it will remain the same throughout life. A proper upbringing, socialization, and the right kind of environment may lead to changes within the patterns of the brain and make such individuals like any other person.

The sub-field of neuroscience known as neuroplasticity suggests that the brain can reorganize itself by forming new neural networks and thus changing the brain structure and neural circuitry in response to new situations and changes in the environment. The new, emerging area of social-neuroscience suggests that proper interactions and healthy and satisfying relationships help in changing the whole brain structure, which leads the person to develop a positive attitude towards life.

However, this is not as simple as it may sound. People born with such brain abnormalities are highly vulnerable to stress and are extremely sensitive to even the slightest of disturbing situations. They get easily hurt and perturbed. Due to their high level of sensitivity, they get easily upset and are often misunderstood by others. This also, many a times, makes them unable to enjoy social situations as they would have really liked to do so. All this makes them to struggle really hard to be happy. Because of this, they have to put in a lot of effort to gain happiness. This also leads such people to deal with many other mental health problems.

Such people obviously require medication, psychotherapy, and social-skills training. But, this comes at a much later stage. Before that they need a lot of social and emotional support from friends and family. They need to be handled with a lot of patience and care.

Nobody in this world wants to be sad. Everybody wants to lead a happy and highly satisfying life. But, for some people this becomes very difficult. Happiness, for them, becomes almost unattainable. This is because some people are just born to be sad.

INTROVERTS SHOULD BE LEFT BY THEMSELVES

2009-06-15T19:30:00.003+05:30

Introverts are perhaps the most misconstrued people in this world. They are usually perceived as dull, boring, and at times arrogant. They are also, often believed to be rather dry, lackluster, and lacking in enthusiasm. For this they are at the receiving end of quite a lot of criticism and endless advice and suggestions.

This, of course, is not really what introverts are about. These are many of the misconceptions and misperceptions that usually people have about them. Such opinions held by others and their constant advices to introverts make them irritated and lead them to avoid others.

Contrary to popular belief, introversion is not only about being shy, quiet, and not being very sociable. This is true, to an extent, but this is not the only thing that is related to introversion.

According to Carl Jung, introverts orient their thoughts inwards, to their inner self. They are more concerned with their inner feelings. In other words, introverts are more self-reflective and introspective. They are highly self-involved and tend to explore their own inner thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

Compared to introverts, extraverts (extrovert and extroversion being the more common spellings) are quite the opposite. Extraverts orient themselves towards their outer world. They are less concerned about their inner feelings and are more oriented towards their surroundings rather than themselves.

Since introverts are more concerned with their inner feelings, they prefer to be self-involved rather than being in social gatherings. They like to spend a lot of time with themselves rather than being with others. This is why they have very few friends. They tend to be more focused and do not like to be distracted. Extraverts, on the other hand, being oriented towards their outer world, like to be in social gatherings and do not like to be alone.

Carl Jung also suggests that every individual has both introversion and extraversion, but one of them is dominant. In case of introverts, introversion is more dominant compared to extraversion. This means that introverts have some traits of extraversion also and though they are not very sociable, they can make the necessary adjustments when required.

If an introvert is not very sociable, it simply means that he/she does not want to be like that. But when it is required, then an introvert can become sociable, for that particular moment, though not as active as an extravert. Therefore, an introvert can be sociable, but only when he/she wants to be or has to be.

There are other reasons for why introverts are like the way they are. Hans Eyesenck gives a biological basis for introversion and extraversion. According to him, it is the biological temperament that determines whether a person is an introvert or an extravert.

Each person has a certain level of arousal within their central nervous system (specifically, in the part of the brain known as the ascending reticular activating system). Introverts have a high level of arousal. They have a low threshold for social stimulation. A low threshold for stimulation means that introverts get easily aroused by their surroundings and they do not have to go out of their way to generate a certain level of enthusiasm.

This low threshold of stimulation makes an introvert to be self-involved. Since they have a high level of arousal, being self-involved is enough for them to stimulate themselves in a highly satisfying manner.

Compared to introverts, extraverts have a very low level of arousal and a high threshold for social stimulation. This is why an extravert is very active and highly sociable. Since they have a high threshold for stimulation, they have to be outgoing and involved in many tasks to satisfy their level of arousal. In other words, they have to go out of their way to generate a certain level of enthusiasm to satisfy themselves.

The kind of excitement that an extravert may have by being with many friends and by being highly active, an introvert generates the same amount of excitement by simply reading a book or by being alone and being involved in his/her own thoughts.

Introverts, having a high level of arousal, get easily aroused and that is why they do not need to be very active and sociable. Extraverts, on the other hand, having a low level of arousal, do not get easily aroused and because of that they need to be highly active and very sociable. This is why introverts tend to be more contemplative and thoughtful and extraverts tend to be more spontaneous and impulsive.

Introverts, in the same manner, can be differentiated with people who are involved in adventure sports, who have more of a sensation seeking personality (they are not exactly like extraverts). People with a sensation seeking personality have an extremely low level of arousal. They have an extremely high threshold for social stimulation.

To satisfy their level of arousal, people with sensation seeking personality need to be involved in adventurous activities. They need to be involved in things like bungee-jumping, paragliding, or river-rafting.

An introvert does not have to do all this to satisfy their level of excitement. For them, reading a book of their interest generates the same amount of excitement that a person with a sensation seeking personality might generate by bungee-jumping.

Introverts, having a low threshold for stimulation, generally get uncomfortable in a situation that can be highly stimulating for them. For an introvert, being around with many people, being involved in too many tasks, or for that matter bungee-jumping, can be highly stimulating and too much for their comfort level. These situations do not match with their biological temperament and thus causes discomfort. This is why introverts tend to be shy and prefer to be with very few people.

In the same manner, extraverts become uncomfortable when being in a situation that is not highly stimulating for them. When alone, extraverts go out, get involved in something, and be with many friends to decrease their discomfort. Being alone and inactive does not match with their biological temperament. They become so uncomfortable in low stimulating situations that they just have to be involved in something or the other.

Carl Jung and Hans Eyesenck give a completely different picture of introversion. Their views give a better understanding of introverts. Introverts behave in a particular way because they orient their thoughts towards their inner self and have a high level of arousal.

It is not that introverts are dull and lack in enthusiasm. They are enthusiastic in their own way, which may be different from others. They get excited and generate their enthusiasm by doing different kinds of things. Those things might be boring for others but not for introverts. Similarly, the things that excite others, like being in social gatherings, do not create any kind of interest for introverts.

Rather than indulging in criticisms, there should be a respect and acknowledgment for individual differences. Introverts have their own good qualities. They are different from others, because they are simply like that. Just like others behave in a particular way, introverts also have their own way of behaving.

Introverts like to live in their own world. They like to be self-involved, are self-reflective, and prefer to be with very few people. Instead of trying to change them and making them like others (or rather like extraverts), they should be left by themselves. They are best when left to enjoy living in their own world.

LONELINESS: THE ROLE THAT IT PLAYS ON A STUDENT'S ACADEMIC PERFORMANCE

2009-05-12T21:30:00.011+05:30

Loneliness is the unpleasant feeling of the inability to have satisfying relationships. The person desires to be in intimate, long-lasting relationships, but is unable to do so. It is an unfulfilled need for intimacy.

Loneliness is experienced by all age groups, some time or the other, but it is most prevalent among adolescents. It is also highly prevalent among children, which is not very well known.

The experience of loneliness, depending on its intensity, is very disturbing and is accompanied with many other problems or difficulties.

A person who is lonely gets the feeling of being unwanted and rejected by others. Due to this the feeling of worthlessness begins to creep in within the individual, which eventually lowers the self-esteem of that person. The person begins lose self-confidence and there is a lack of self-belief within the individual. This lack of self-belief and self-esteem has a negative affect on various aspects of the individual’s life, including his/her academic performance.

The person starts to feel that there is no use of studying and that he/she is not going to gain anything by studies. The loss in self-belief makes the student feel that studying and getting good grades will not do any good for him/her. Gradually the student begins to lose interest in studies itself. The feeling of being unwanted and rejected has a severe affect on his/her academic interests.This ultimately, and obviously, leads to a decline in the student’s academic performance.

Loneliness also leads to depression. The inability to have good relationships makes the person dejected, morose, and completely saddened. Due to all this, the depression can be so severe that at times the person may have thoughts of committing suicide.

If this persists then the severity increases and the person becomes completely helpless. A kind of suffocation begins to develop. In such a mood, the person loses interest in absolutely everything in life and studying is one of those things. In fact, studies might be the last thing that the person would like to do. If the student does not study then it is very unlikely that he/she may academically perform well.

There is also a feeling of hopelessness that begins to develop within the individual. The individual might feel that he/she is going to fail in everything that he/she indulges into. Perhaps the continuous failure of being able to develop satisfying relationships is generalized in every other aspect of the person’s life.

In such a situation even if the student wants to study, he/she does not do so. The student feels that he/she lacks the ability to learn and no matter how much he/she studies, it is not in any way going to affect the scores in the examination. This makes the student not to study, which leads him/her to perform poorly academically.

Loneliness causes problems in sleeping. The person may develop abnormal sleeping patterns. The person may either have too much or too little of sleep. Both are harmful and can have severe effects on an individual’s lifestyle.

A disturbed sleeping pattern can make the individual feel lackadaisical and phlegmatic. This leads to an inability to concentrate. The person develops a short attention span and cannot focus on anything for a longer period of time.

This lack of concentration obviously comes in between the studies of a student. The student easily gets distracted, which inhibits his/her ability to learn and may also lead to irritability. Thus, the student cannot concentrate on his/her studies and therefore has a decline in academic performance.

It is obvious that a person who is lonely does not have anybody to talk to and share his/her feelings with. This means that a lonely individual lacks social support. Social support plays a major contribution in releasing any kind of stress.

The pressure to perform well in school, comparisons with high achieving students, unrealistic expectations, all can become very stressful for a student. A good social network helps a lot in releasing this stress. A small talk with friends before an examination does a great deal in decreasing examination phobia and fear of failure.

A student who is lonely does not have such privileges. Loneliness in itself is very stressful. All the other stressors added to the stress of loneliness can prove to be fatal for the student. In severe cases, it may also lead to a nervous breakdown. A lack of social support can, thus, have a severe affect on a student’s mental health, which has a direct negative effect on his/her academic performance.

It has been found that loneliness is a major cause for absenteeism in schools. A student who is lonely might have the feeling that he/she has nobody to talk to in school. This can be quite a saddening experience. Due to this, the student does not desire to go to school and prefers to stay at home. At home, the student will at least have his/her parents and siblings.

Being absent from school does not help as it causes a lot of loss in studies. Since the student does not have any friends, he/she has little information of what he/she has missed in the classroom. It becomes difficult to catch up with the other students because they do not have anybody to help them out.

Being regularly absent not only creates a bad impression among the teachers, but it also leads to a bad performance in the classroom and other activities, loss of important information, and ultimately a poor performance in examinations.

Loneliness can be a highly unpleasant and disturbing feeling. It is highly stressful, causes depression, and leads to many other psychological problems. It has a severely negative affect on every aspect of a person’s life. In a way, it almost ruins the whole personality of an individual.

Somehow, the effect of loneliness on a student’s academic performance has been ignored for reasons unknown. Perhaps its role in academic performance is not taken as seriously as it should be.

Teachers and parents should take special care in identifying the symptoms of loneliness in children and adolescents. Performing well in school is very important for students. A good academic performance becomes the basis for many of the future prospects of a student.

Teachers in schools should always try to have a good rapport with their students, so that students do not hesitate in talking to them about their problems. Similarly, parents should always try talk to their children and discuss about all their problems and issues with them. Especially in loneliness, a simple talk can prove to be of a lot of help.

Identification of loneliness and making necessary psychological interventions will prove to be very helpful for students. It will not only enable them to excel in their academic performance, but they will also excel in many other aspects of their life, in the present as well as in their future.

If a student performs poorly in studies, it may not necessarily be that he/she lacks in intellectual abilities. It is quite possible that the major reason for a decline in a student's academic performance is loneliness.

PS: To read more on loneliness and similar concepts, refer to my articles, Loneliness: A Harbinger To Aloneness and When Trait and State Loneliness Come Together

NEED FOR ACHIEVEMENT AND NEED FOR AFFILIATION: THE EXTENT TO WHICH AN INDIVIDUAL MAY HAVE BOTH SIMULTANEOUSLY

2009-04-13T18:49:00.017+05:30

Need for achievement is the desire to accomplish difficult tasks and to meet standards of excellence. Need for affiliation is the desire to be with others and have harmonious and satisfying relationships.

Both, need for achievement and need for affiliation, can be very important for any individual. They can work as a guiding force in a person’s life in many ways. A need for achievement gives an incentive to have a sense of accomplishment and a need for affiliation drives a person to be with different kind of people and have many different kinds of relationships. Both help in gaining a sense of satisfaction in their own way.

There are, of course, individual differences when it comes to both need for achievement and need for affiliation. People may be high, low, or even medium in both the needs.

People who are high on need for achievement choose tasks that are moderately difficult for them. They are persistent and do not give up till they have a sense of accomplishment. They are intrinsically motivated. They do things for a sense of pleasure and satisfaction and not for extrinsic rewards like money.

They also prefer to have accurate feedback about themselves. They are clear about their strengths and weaknesses. They attribute their performance to themselves rather than circumstances. They like to take responsibility for their success as well as their failures. They prefer to be alone or with like minded people. They also like to face challenges in their life.

People who are high on need for affiliation like to spend time with others. They like to be with others. They like to form friendships and more and more intimate relationships. They try to seek out pleasure by being in the company of others.

They have a desire for acceptance and approval from others. They have a need to be liked by others. They choose work that enables them to be with more and more people and that requires social interaction. They also tend to conform to others.

Having a look at the characteristics of people who are high on need for achievement and people who are high on need for affiliation, there seems to be quite a contrast between the two. They are seemingly opposite.

Researchers suggest that need for achievement and need for affiliation are inversely proportional in an individual. This means that if a person is high on need for achievement, then he/she is low on need for affiliation and vice versa.

This, to quite an extent, is reflected by the characteristics of both high on need for achievement and affiliation. People who are high on need for achievement are introverted and basically self-involved. They are usually aloof and prefer to be alone. They may also lack in some social skills, especially the skill of cooperation. On the other hand, people who are high on need for affiliation like to be surrounded by people. They are extroverted and highly sociable. They also seem to have good people skills. Obviously, a person cannot exactly be self-involved and sociable at the same time.

Need for achievement and need for affiliation may also quite possibly work as a hindrance for each other. They may come in between one another and thus negatively effect each other.

For a person who is high on need for achievement, the desire to affiliate may cause a distraction from his/her work and accomplishments. Likewise, for a person who is high on need for affiliation, the desire to achieve success in work may put him/her away from his close relationships.This shows that the researchers may be right and that need for achievement and need for affiliation are not only inversely proportional but they rather should be inversely proportional.

All this gives an indication that need for achievement and need for affiliation are quite unrelated. But an in-depth look at need for affiliation shows that this may not exactly be true. Among all the basic reasons for different people to affiliate, one of them is to have positive stimulation and one is to compare themselves with others.

People affiliate to have interesting and lively interactions that create some sort of positive stimulation. People who are high on need for achievement prefer to be with like-minded people. This enables them to generate positive stimulation, which suggests a desire to affiliate among people who are high on need for achievement.

People affiliate to compare themselves with others to know exactly where they belong in a particular task. This reduces uncertainty among them and they are able to get some kind of feedback about themselves.

Those who are high on need for achievement also require some feedback about themselves from time to time. This shows some kind of relation between need for achievement and need for affiliation. Thus, people who are high on need for achievement can also have a need to affiliate.

There is a lot of subjectivity when it comes to human nature. Each individual differs from the other in their own right. Everyone has their own perceptions and perspectives. The desire to accomplish difficult tasks and to meet standards of excellence are qualities of those of who have a need to achieve. Each person has their own perception of task difficulty and each person might have their own standards of excellence. In this way, a person who is high on need for affiliation might also be high on need for achievement from his/her own perception and perspective.

Need for achievement and need for affiliation are more of common social needs of humans rather than being just personality traits. Everybody, to whatever extent, has the need to achieve and affiliate. There seems to be no reason at all why an individual may not be high on both need for achievement and need for affiliation.

But, as mentioned above, one may come in the way of the other. However, this does not mean that a person cannot be high on both the needs. One of the needs may suffer because of the other or probably even both may suffer, but it does not rule out in any way that a person can be high on both.

Human beings have a tendency to act according to the situation. A person may behave in a certain way in one situation and behave differently in another situation. This makes it difficult to predict the behaviour of an individual. It is quite possible that in one situation a person can be high on need for achievement and in another situation that same person can be high on need for affiliation.

An individual overall has a number of personality traits. Usually some of them are dominant and some are not. The same can be possible when it comes to need for achievement and need for affiliation. It can be that a person is high on both, but either one of them is dominant.

For instance, in an individual need for achievement may be dominant and need for affiliation may be the subordinate. Or need for affiliation may be dominant and need for achievement may be the subordinate. Thus, a person may be high on both the needs but he/she may be a little bit higher in one them. They may not be necessarily inversely proportional. There might only be a slight difference in the degree of either one of them.

Need for achievement and need for affiliation, at first might seem to be quite unrelated. But, a closer look at the two gives a different perspective. They both can be very much related and it is quite possible that an individual may be high on both need for achievement and need for affiliation.

THE EXISTENCE OF MONSTERS AND GIANTS?

2009-03-18T23:02:00.032+05:30

Monsters and giants have always played an important part in folklore and fiction. There has been a lot of speculation of whether some of these creatures exist in reality or not. People claiming to have witnessed some of them have aroused those speculations and have created a lot of curiosity about them. There has also been an element of fear involved in it as monsters and giants are known to be something that are dangerous and that can be harmful.

One of the most popular of such creatures that is believed to be in reality is the Bigfoot. The Bigfoot is a large, hairy half-human and half-ape like creature. It is known to be about 6 to10 feet tall, is tremendously huge, and walks upright on its legs. It is supposedly known to inhabit, mainly, in forests, in the Pacific Northwest region of North America.

There have been known to be a number of alleged interactions between humans and the Bigfoot. Many people have claimed to have seen it, which adds to the curiosity of the creature. The search for the Bigfoot has been going on for years. But all that has been found are some large footprints, some hazy pictures and videos, and endless stories about the Bigfoot.

Similar to the Bigfoot is the Yeti or the Snowman. The Yeti is known to inhabit in the Himalayan region of Nepal and Tibet. Like the Bigfoot, the Yeti is a large, furry and half-human and half-ape like creature. The Yeti is also, at times, known as the Asian version of the Bigfoot. It is almost of the same size of the Bigfoot and like the Bigfoot there have only been footprints, pictures, videos, and stories about the Yeti.

The pictures and videos of both the Bigfoot and the Yeti are highly inconclusive. There is not much that can be said about their existence on the basis of these and other evidences. Many of these evidences have been proved to be hoaxes.

But, this does not mean that the Bigfoot and the Yeti do not at all exist. Like the Bigfoot and the Yeti, there has been another creature that was known to be a myth and non-existent, until it was discovered. This creature is known as the giant squid. The giant squid is of a tremendous size, compared to the normal and smaller squids.

There have been many ancient stories about the giant squid. A number of sailors had claimed to see the giant squid, which perhaps gave rise to the legends of sea-monsters. Throughout the years all the claims of the giant squid were considered to be false and it was termed as a mythical creature.

All this was proved wrong when a few years ago a dead giant squid was found at a sea-side. Later, very recently, a number of live pictures and videos of the giant squid have been taken in its natural habitat. A giant squid has been found to be as large as 45 feet long. The giant squid is a creature that very much exists in this world.

If a giant squid can exist then there is no reason why the Bigfoot or the Yeti cannot exist. Such creatures are known to be in such habitats where there is no or very little human life. The Bigfoot and the Yeti are known to live in hilly and snowy regions, which make them very difficult to be spotted. Because they are known to inhabit in such remote areas, it becomes unlikely to get hardcore evidence about them.

Likewise, the giant squid has been living in the sea for a number of years until it was recently discovered. The sea is a gigantic water body and most of it is yet to be discovered by humans. No one knows what lies deep down beneath the sea. There may be a number of yet to be discovered and identified creatures that may be living in the sea.

Another very popular monster-like creature is the Loch Ness Monster. This is known to be a dinosaur-like monster that lives in the lake of Loch Ness in the Scottish Highlands. But, unlike the Bigfoot and the Yeti, the Loch Ness Monster seems to be very unlikely to exist. There have been very few inconclusive pictures and videos. There have also been sonar readings of it in the lake. But, all these evidences are very weak even when compared to those of the Bigfoot and the Yeti. Despite this, the Loch Ness Monster is something that is highly popular among people, which keeps on adding to its speculation.

Giants, if looked from another perspective, may not really be that mysterious kind of creatures as they seem to be. If we look properly, then there have been some well-known giants that have been openly living with humans and are not at all mysterious.

The Blue Whale is one such creature. The blue whale is the largest mammal in the world. They can be as large as 100 feet long, which is a humongous size. The anaconda is also known to be of a huge size. Usually anacondas are found to range between 20 to 25 feet long. The largest snake to be discovered is a 33 feet long python. These can also be considered as giants in their own right. The difference is that they are quite well known. So, if these giants can exist among us then there is a possibility that some of the other giants may also be existing.

There are also claims of the existence of giant anacondas. There have been sightings of anacondas that are about 35 to 40 feet long. European explorers during the discovery of South America have reported to have witnessed anacondas ranging up to as long as 50 feet. But, nothing much can be said about them.

The so-called monsters also may not exactly be the monsters that they are believed to be. It is quite possible that some people might have witnessed a unique or rare species of animal and that have been misinterpreted and given rise to the legends of dangerous monsters. In ancient times when irrationality and superstition was at its peak, many people could have spread rumours about some unknown animal and might have given its name to be a monster.

Also, out of fear a person might misinterpret any common animal to be a monster. Scientists claim that the Bigfoot and the Yeti might actually be a huge bear or a gorilla that have been misinterpreted as these unknown creatures.

Whatever it is, monsters and giants have become topics of immense interest. The more stories there are about them the more mysterious they become.

Cryptozoology is a field that studies such unknown, legendary, and non-existent creatures. It is focused in searching these creatures and knowing about them in a much better way. Cryptozoologists put in a great amount of effort to look out for such creatures, which scientists usually do not believe in. The creatures that are studied in cryptozoology are known as cryptids. Thus, the Bigfoot, the Yeti, the Loch Ness Monster, and the giant anaconda, all come under the category of criptids.

Like the giant squid, other animals like the Mountain gorilla or the mega mouth shark were once dismissed as myths but were later discovered. Such discoveries work as a big motivation for cryptozoologists and encourage them a great deal to look out for similar so-called legendary and mythical animals. These discoveries also create a lot of curiosity among the common man.

Monsters and giants are known to be mythical creatures. But, recent discoveries have shown that some of these creatures are very much a part of reality. This gives a sense of hope that one day other similar creatures may also be discovered.

It would be very intriguing if one day the most popular and the most searched of such creatures, the Bigfoot and the Yeti, are discovered. Knowing that these legendary creatures actually exist will be a subject of immense fascination and excitement. Who knows that the Bigfoot and the Yeti might be waiting out there, in some remote area, to be discovered by cryptozoologists?

INFERIORITY AND INFERIORITY COMPLEX

2009-02-28T22:39:00.007+05:30

Each and every person has certain needs and desires, which he/she would like to fulfill. Many a times some of these needs become difficult to accomplish due to a number of reasons. This develops a sense of helplessness and makes the person feel powerless to a certain degree. When this happens, the individual is very likely to feel inferior.

This feeling of inferiority occurs in everybody, some time or the other. It is quite normal and natural to have this feeling. There is nothing wrong in it. There are times when an individual may be able to overcome the feeling of inferiority, but it may also be resurfaced once certain new needs develop.

According to Alfred Adler, the feeling of inferiority develops due to the innate human tendency of striving for superiority. Each and every individual strives for superiority. This tendency is so overwhelming that as soon as there is some obstruction that comes in between the person and his/her needs then he/she begins to feel inferior.

It is a blessing in disguise to feel inferior because in a way it can help to move forward in life. The striving for superiority makes sure that the person puts in all his/her effort and work harder to fulfill his/her needs and overcome the sense of helplessness and powerlessness. Thus, the striving for superiority causes inferiority as well as helps in overcoming it.

It is alright if there is some control over the feeling of inferiority and it occurs within a certain limit. The problem arises when it becomes too pervasive. When the feeling of inferiority occurs too often and becomes persistent, then it may lead the person to develop into inferiority complex.

Inferiority complex makes an individual feel worthless and instills within him/her a sense of hopelessness. The person begins to feel that he/she lacks certain qualities and is inferior to others with respect to those qualities. Due to an inferiority complex, the normal feelings of incompetence get exaggerated, which makes the individual feel that it is impossible to achieve goals and/or have certain abilities.

For instance, an average or below average student might try hard to score well in his/her examination. Due to his/her continuous failure in doing that he/she might feel inferior to others and think that it is impossible to compete with his/her peers, which in turn makes him/her feel worthless.

Inferiority complex may not necessarily develop in the context of specific tasks or goals. It may develop for more general or abstract things also. For example, a person might feel that he/she is not very good looking compared to others and this might become the cause for inferiority complex for that person.

Likewise, if a person is unable to make friends then that person might feel that nobody likes him/her and that he/she lacks the qualities of having good friends. Also, if a person, compared to others, is confused about his/her goals in life then he/she might begin to feel insecure and think that he/she is good for nothing. This continuous feeling can cause an inferiority complex.

Inferiority complex can become a menace for the individual and can lead to many other problems. The person might develop a feeling of inadequacy. He/she might also have disappointment, dissatisfaction, depression, fearfulness, shyness, self-pity, insecurity, loneliness, withdrawal, etc.

If inferiority complex becomes too overwhelming and lasts for a longer period of time, there is a possibility that it may engulf the person in such a strong way that it changes into superiority complex. Superiority complex is nothing but an exaggerated form of inferiority complex. When a person develops too much of inferiority complex, then it turns into superiority complex.

In superiority complex, the individual feels that a good way to overcome inferiority is to make others feel inferior and thus become superior. For this, the person might become arrogant and aggressive in his/her mannerisms. He/she might try to show off and indulge into too much of self-praise and bragging. The person might also try to bully others to gain a sense of satisfaction.

The person does all this in an effort to regain his/her lost self-worth. He/she tries to seek the attention of others and pretends to be something that he/she actually is not. The individual tries to convince and prove himself/herself as well as others that he/she is not inferior. He/she also tries to think of himself/herself as someone who is highly valuable and probably the best.

Such a person might seem to be very confident from the outside. He/she might appear to hold a very high opinion of himself/herself. But, this may not be the case in actuality. The person is just trying to hide his/her shortcomings and tries to overcome his/her excessive feelings of inferiority.

This attitude is perceived as obnoxious and rude by others. By getting into such behaviour, the person might also be making a fool out of him/her. Others begin to extremely dislike him/her and try to stay away. This further exacerbates the feeling of worthlessness within that person. It may also lead to more and more aggressive behaviour or even chronic loneliness and depression.

The best way to overcome inferiority complex, according to Adler, is compensation. If a person feels that he/she lacks in a certain ability, then that person can try to develop strength in some other ability. The individual can enhance such skills that make him/her feel good about himself/herself and develop self-confidence. In this way, the person feels that it does not matter if he/she lacks in an ability because he/she is very good in some other ability.

For instance, a person who feels that he/she is not good in studies can become good in sports. A person who feels that he/she is not good looking can become very good in studies and other intellectual tasks. A person who feels that he/she does not have a good speaking ability can develop good skills in writing or painting. In this way an individual can compensate his/her lack of ability by developing and enhancing some other ability.

Another way to overcome inferiority complex is to have a high level of self-awareness. A high level of self-awareness will enable the person to know himself/herself in a much better way. Due to this an individual can recognize his/her strengths and weaknesses and work accordingly. If the person realizes his/her strengths and true abilities, then there is no way that the person could develop an inferiority complex.

Many people become too much sensitive about what other people feel or think about them. They begin to worry a lot about how others see them. This is completely unnecessary and a waste of time. Rather than worrying about what others are thinking, it is much better to focus on what we want to do.

An individual knows himself/herself better and if he/she goes according to others then there is a possibility that the person might get into things in which he/she lacks proper ability. This may cause constant failures and eventually lead to inferiority complex.

Comparing oneself to others also does no good to the person. If a person is good in something that does not mean that another individual also has to be good in that. The individual might have his/her own strengths and should focus on that. Trying to ape others can be misguiding and lead to insecurity, which may further develop into inferiority complex.

The feeling of inferiority can be a good thing for an individual until and unless it is not exaggerated. Inferiority complex is obviously something that can cause a lot of troubles to a person.

The longer inferiority complex stays the worse it gets. Therefore, a person should do his/her best to overcome it once he/she develops it. Rather than overcoming it would be much better if an individual uses his/her thought processes in an appropriate manner and try to dissociate himself/herself from inferiority complex as much as possible.

LOVE IS LIKE ANY OTHER EMOTION

2009-01-31T23:52:00.005+05:30

Human beings experience a number of emotions such as happiness, sadness, anger, jealousy, excitement, hatred, etc. These emotions are felt by everybody throughout the world, across different cultures.

The emotion of love (romantic love) is also something that is experienced by many people and is very common all over the world. People who are in love describe it as an amazingly satisfying feeling that gives them immense happiness. Many of those who are not in love desire to experience that feeling and wait for that one special person with whom they would want to spend their entire life.

There is this delusion of true love that some people have. They take the feeling of love as the ultimate thing in life and give it the utmost importance. Because of this they orient their whole life according to this feeling of love. They have the false belief that love lasts forever and that they can live happily with that one so-called special person for the rest of their life. This belief may not necessarily be true all the time.

Just like we fall in love, we also fall out of love. This means that love does not last forever and after a certain period of time the love that we have for a person may begin to fade away and eventually die out.

There can be a number of reasons for this. One of the reasons is boredom. Human beings always like change and dislike sameness. The qualities that a person likes about his/her lover may soon become something that is routine and run of the mill. A person might get bored with being with the same person and the same old qualities of that person that were once responsible for them to fall in love with each other. Those same qualities may also even begin to irritate that person to quite an extent. This continuing for a longer period of time leads the person to ultimately fall out of love.

It is not that once the love between two people dies out it is the end of the road for them. Things can be worked out between the two. Efforts can be made by both to recreate that magic when they initially fell in love. Due to their efforts they can once again fall in love with each other and thus try to sustain the love they had for their lover. Erich Fromm used the term “standing in love” for this. He says that more than falling in love it is standing in love that is important. This is the only way that enables love to last longer.

However, standing in love is not an easy process and is something that does not happen very often. Despite that due to the delusion of true love, even when the love between them has died out, people still prefer to be with each other. The individual tries to hang on with that person desperately because he/she believes that that is the only person in the whole world who is made for him/her. This further causes problems, both within the relationship and the individuals themselves.

There are times when the couple decides to end the relationship. But since they believed that they had found true love it becomes very difficult for them to accept it. They find it really hard to get over the break up that they had. Because of this they get into phases of depression and also begin to lose interest in many other things. This can further lead to irritability and frustration.

Trying to continue a relationship that has no future or not being able to get over a broken relationship might take the person away from the possibility of accepting other pleasurable opportunities in life. There is always a possibility to fall in love again with another person, but that may not happen if the person is preoccupied with his/her own false beliefs. In this way, the person may be unknowingly moving further away from happiness that he/she may be getting. The delusion of true love and that one special person is not going to take the person any where.

The initial feeling of attraction with another person is magnetic and pulls the person into believing that he/she is in love without even thinking whether the relationship can work or not. Attraction and liking each other is not enough to have a long lasting relationship. There are many other aspects that are involved to make a relationship work out for a longer period of time. Compatibility, the amount of time that they can spend with each other, their own goals in life, and their future prospects are some of the things that needs to be considered before finally getting committed to a relationship.

It is better to withhold ones flow of emotions, initially, before getting fully committed to the relationship. All the aspects of the future of the relationship should be analyzed properly. Once a commitment is made then it becomes too late. Before getting into the relationship, if suppose an individual comes to the conclusion that there are too many complications within the relationship and that it may not have a future then he/she can always move on. Here the person saves himself/herself from a lot of troubles, like ending up with the wrong person, by wisely making a decision that the relationship may not work out.

Besides this, there is a strong possibility that the initial feeling of love may not even be love in the first place. The tremendous flow of emotions that occur when we initially meet a person and begin to like him/her, can make us falsely believe that we are falling in love with that person. Therefore, by withholding one's emotions, initially, can also make a person buy out some time and analyze properly whether or not the feeling that he/she is developing for the other person is actually love or something else. If he/she decides that it is just a liking and not love, then the individual prevents himself/herself in making a wrong decision and thus avoids further complications.

As mentioned above, there are people, especially adolescents and young adults, who orient their whole life according the feeling of love. Their whole life is guided by this one emotion. They neglect many other important aspects of life because of their feeling of love. They are willing to do anything to be with their lover.

For instance, they even choose a career path that is suitable for their love without even thinking that a career is chosen on the basis of aptitude and interest and not on the basis of their love. Choosing a wrong career for love is obviously an absolutely unwise decision, considering the fact that the love may not even last long enough. In the long run, career matters more than love.

Due to their being in love, many people give very little importance and even devalue other relationships like friends and family. Love comes and goes away, but friends and family (especially parents and siblings) are always there. Giving more value to love can make others unhappy and may lead to moving away from them. At the time when love gets over the person might end up being all alone and then it will be too late to regret.

Thus, efforts should be made to value all relationships equally. Giving more time to love and thus neglecting others can make them feel cheated and sad. There should be such an understanding between all the relationships that a comforting atmosphere is created. Giving more importance to love compared to other relationships can become dissatisfying and extremely stressful in the long run.

There is no doubt that the feeling of love is immensely pleasurable. It is indeed highly satisfying. But this does not mean that it should be given such a lot of importance. There are many other extremely important things in life, probably much more important and satisfying.

If love is given utmost importance then it leads to a lot of stress and becomes quite problematic. It can lead to dissatisfaction, depression, and a lot of complications. Love is meant to give a lot of happiness and not make the person end up in a lot of problems and make life complicated. Therefore, giving so much of importance to it is simply of no use at all.

Love should be taken like any other emotion. It should not be considered to be something that is very special. It should not be taken so seriously that it leads to self-deterioration and other problems in life. After all love is just another emotion.

XENOGLOSSY: IS IT REALLY POSSIBLE?

2008-12-31T23:50:00.011+05:30

Xenoglossy is the alleged speaking of a language that is entirely unknown to the individual. The person has never heard the language before but still can speak it fluently as if it were his/her native language. In other words, if a person speaks an unknown language that has not been acquired by natural means then it is known as xenoglossy.

There have been a number of well documented cases in which people have been found to have xenoglossy. So far, none of them have been proved to be accurate. Its not that those were cases of fraud, but there have not been enough evidences to completely prove them. Linguists and Psycholinguists say that until and unless they have enough evidences they cannot accept the existence of xenoglossy.

Language is a system of symbols with rules for combining them, used to communicate information. Language development is the result of a complex process involving several aspects of learning, many cognitive processes, and perhaps various genetically determined mechanisms as well. Thus, speaking a language that a person has never heard of or is not at all familiar with seems to be something that is not possible.

There are a number of different views about how language is acquired. According to the linguist Noam Chomsky, language acquisition is partly innate. This view suggests that human beings are born with a language acquisition device (LAD), which is a built-in neural system that provides them with an intuitive grasp of grammar of their native language. Chomsky says that humans are prepared to acquire language and that the language acquisition device allows children to deduce the structure of their native language by mere exposure to it.

Another view suggests that there is a critical period for language acquisition. Critical periods are time frames during which environmental exposure is required to stimulate an innate trait during early childhood. According to this view, children acquire language during this critical period. Studies show that a critical period exists, but it does not mean that adults cannot learn a language perfectly.

The social learning view of language acquisition suggests that language is acquired through a combination of learning and imitation. According to this view, children are praised and rewarded by their parents and elders for making sounds that are approximate to those of their native language. Also, parents very often model sounds, words, and sentences for their children. All these together contribute to the acquisition of language.

The Relational Frame theory based on the social learning view also suggests that language is acquired purely through the interaction with the environment. It gives emphasis to the importance of predicting and influencing psychological events, such as thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, by focusing on manipulable variables in their context. Studies supporting this view suggest that children learn language through a system of inherent reinforcements.

There are other views that suggest language acquisition is a cognitive process that emerges from the interaction of biological pressures and the environment. According to this both the environmental and biological aspects must work together in order to allow language acquisition. This view argues that general cognitive processes sub-serve language acquisition and that the end result of these processes is language-specific phenomena, like word learning and grammar acquisition.

Similar to this is Slobin’s view of language acquisition. According to him children posses certain information-processing abilities or strategies that they use in acquiring language. These are known as operating principles and seem to be present or to develop very early in life.

The last two views show that language acquisition is something that is a lot more complex than it is believed to be.

All these different views/theories of language acquisition suggest how language is acquired by children and thus may not be very apt for explaining something like xenoglossy. However, these theories also suggest that exposure to a certain language is very necessary to acquire it, which further weakens the claims of xenoglossy.

Researchers of xenoglossy say that the exhibition of the phenomenon of xenoglossy requires paranormal explanations and are beyond the usual psychological processes. So far, the explanations given for xenoglossy are reincarnation or being possessed by another soul. These explanations are themselves not very sound and are hard to believe. The phenomenon of reincarnation is a very popular area in parapsychology, but so far nothing has been proved. And being possessed by a soul sounds to be something that is quite preposterous despite its never ending claims by a number of people.

Researchers also suggest that xenoglossy might not even have an explanation. It is something like many of the other miracles that have happened throughout the existence of life. But, to accept something there has to be ample evidence for it, there has to be some kind of logic behind it, without which it may not be possible to accept the existence of xenoglossy.

However, there are many things in this world that are beyond logic and beyond any possible explanations. There are a number of paranormal and supernatural phenomena that have no explanation whatsoever. Some believe in them and some do not. Xenoglossy may also be one of those.

As mentioned above, there have been well-documented cases of xenoglossy. Most of them cannot be denied, irrespective of the explanations given for them not being good enough. All this makes it is very difficult to say that whether something like xenoglossy is possible or not.

PS: To read more about Xenoglossy, refer to my article, Xenoglossy: Possible Explanations

EMOTIONAL HIJACKING: THE TRIGGER TO AN UNHEALTHY MIND

2008-11-30T23:40:00.030+05:30

Emotional hijacking is a state when an individual's cognitions are overpowered by his/her emotions. It is usually referred to in the context of aggression or fearfulness.

With respect to aggression, it can be said to be a sudden unleashing of rage towards another person. It is an extreme emotional outburst or an emotional explosion caused by an incident that may trigger anger or fear in an individual.

Such incidents happen many a times. There are a number of situations in which a person might get angry or upset and without even thinking about anything he/she might just lose his/her cool and simply explode with emotions and attack the other person verbally or even physically. For instance, an individual might suddenly get extremely angry and begin to shout at his/her friend and even slur him/her. In an extreme case, a disgusted husband might suddenly get upset and beat up his wife badly. In more extreme cases, a person might kill another person with an outburst of anger.

Wife beating and killing a person due to emotional hijacking can be rare, but incidents of individuals quarreling with each other and in the process damaging a relationship are quite common. Such moments do not last very long, but the time that it lasts does enough damage. Most of the times, a person regrets getting into such an act.

Research shows that such emotional explosions are neural hijackings. In such a moment, a center in the limbic system (a part of the brain), the amygadala, the seat of all emotions in the brain, takes over the neocortex. The neocortex is the part of the brain that is responsible for our thinking. During this moment the neocortex stops functioning. The amygdala gets triggered and in an instant takes control of the brain, in a sense hijacking it. Thus, it is called emotional hijacking.

Emotional hijacking does not occur just like that out of no where. Usually certain past events that are disturbing to the individual keep building up resulting in the sudden emotional outburst. If a person is facing some problems for quite some time, they start playing on the mind and a moment may occur when he/she cannot take it any longer, which may result in the extreme explosion of emotions. A person may be too stressed out, or a person might be a bit angry for something that might have occurred before. In such a moment if something happens that further causes distress, then the chances of emotional hijacking to occur increase to a great extent.

Emotional hijacking takes place in an instant and by the time it gets over it can do a lot of damage to the person in many ways. If emotional hijacking keeps on occurring time and again then, it will have an immediate negative affect on the individual’s ability to have relationships as well as the quality of his/her current relationships. Emotional hijacking occurring too often in a person will give the impression to others of the individual being a loose cannon. People will begin to dislike his/her behaviour and may keep a distance from him/her. Likewise, his/her peers, friends, and others who are close to him/her may begin to dislike him/her, because nobody would like to be at the receiving end of a person’s extreme rage, especially when the person has a close relationship with them.

Emotional hijacking also creates a lot of negativity within the atmosphere. If a person due to an extreme outburst of anger shouts very loudly it has a bad affect on the mood of not only others, but also on the individual himself/herself. Such an emotional outburst is not at all good for the mental and emotional stability of the person. One incident of emotional hijacking can lead to a severe mood swing, so one can imagine what will happen if this happens very often. Such kind of behaviour will also increase the stress level of the person. In extreme cases it can cause high blood pressure and even heart problems. Therefore, emotional hijacking can have a very bad affect on a person’s mental as well as physical health.

Instead of facing the negative consequences of emotional hijacking it is much better to try to prevent it as much as possible. One way to do this is to try to reason and thus challenge the anger provoking thoughts. Emotional hijacking is more of an impulse driven reaction. The person should try to think before he/she reacts in such an aggressive manner and in a way try to hold back that impulse. He/she should try to channelize his/her thoughts to a more rationalistic way and try to bring down the level of anger. This is a very good way to counter emotional hijacking, but it is easier said than done. During an episode of emotional hijacking, a person becomes cognitively incapacitated. He/she almost loses the ability to think at that moment.

The best way to prevent emotional hijacking is to just move away from that place and go for a walk as soon as one realizes that matters can become worse. This works as a distraction from the anger provoking thoughts for the person. The person buys out some time, which helps in relaxation of thoughts and makes the individual calm down. In such a situation the left prefrontal lobe (the front-left side of the brain) of the person comes into being. When the anger provoking thoughts get distracted, the left prefrontal lobe, which is responsible for maintaining emotional balance, works as a counter mechanism towards the amygdala and dampens its affect on the brain. Thus, the person comes back to his/her normal and calm phase and is able to prevent emotional hijacking.

In situations like this, watching television or listening to music can also help in distracting one from anger provoking thoughts and thus make the individual calm down. Distraction from such thoughts also helps the person to get into a more pleasant mood. If a person goes out for a walk, he/she might find the surroundings pleasant, which will have a positive affect on the mood and make him/her happier at that moment. The same thing happens when a person begins to watch television or listens to music at that moment.

Other ways of preventing emotional hijacking is deep breathing and muscle relaxation. This helps in changing the body’s high arousal of anger to a low-arousal state. It also, in a way, works as a distraction from whatever triggered the anger.

It is very obvious that emotional hijacking is a very unpleasant phenomenon.The consequences of emotional hijacking are nothing but bad, be it on mood, relationships, or the overall health of the individual. A person should always try to be in a positive frame of mind and try to be as emotionally relaxed and calm as possible. The more positive frame of mind the person is in the more chances are that he/she will be away from emotional hijacking and the more chances are that he/she will be an emotionally healthy person.

STIGMATIZED AND MARGINALIZED

2008-10-31T23:55:00.006+05:30

Life could have such a dark picture, I would have never realized it. About three years ago, in July 2005, I worked in a research project in which I had to interact with people who are stigmatized and marginalized.

The research project was about the self-esteem and health issues of six stigmatized groups, namely, the downtrodden, beggars, lepers, physically handicapped people, eunuchs, and widows (in some parts of India, being a widow is considered to be a taboo). I mainly had to interview the downtrodden, but later I was also assigned to interview beggars, lepers, and the physically handicapped people.

To interview the downtrodden I, with a group of people, had to go to the slums. I had never seen a place like this before. It was a totally different experience for me. Wherever I could take my eyesight, I could only see trash spread all over the place. My first reaction was that how could people live in such a dirty place. Within a few minutes of staying there, I could realize the extreme level of their poverty.

Their destituteness was clearly reflected in their behaviour. They were extremely needy and always expected to be helped by the people who are financially better than them and also who are on the upper strata of the society.

When I interacted with them initially, they thought I was a government official who had come to help them with some funds. When they realized that I had come for my own personal benefit and that I am not going to be of any help to them, some of them reacted with a lot of aggression. Despite that I, somehow, made them agree to give interviews. Initially they were a bit calm, but later I believe they got offended by some of my questions and got extremely angry. Some of them abused me with the foulest of languages. Once, if I had not left at the right time, I would have definitely been beaten up by the people over there.

I had also gone to the snake charmers society. I was shocked to see the conditions in which they lived. It is hard to express in words, the kind of condition they were living in. The whole ambience was quite frightening. They were all drunk and because of that their eyes became red. They were extremely loud in their behaviour. When I first went there, all of a sudden there was havoc created. When I sat down, I do not know why they all surrounded me and kept staring at me. One of the snake charmers tried to snatch my money and was extremely abusive in his use of language.

However, I was not at all offended by this kind of behaviour. Their behaviour clearly showed the kind of anger they had towards the society and the kind of frustration they had with their own miserable condition.

They lived in extremely dirty places with trash spread all over the place. They did not have clean water to drink. They used water from drains, ditches, and nullahs. They did not even have proper houses to live. They stayed in small tents made of recycled plastic. Inside the tents it is really congested and dark. Spending just ten minutes inside the tents became suffocating for me. The snake charmers lived in even worse conditions. They stayed under a bridge and the place was so dirty that one would feel like to vomit. It is not possible to believe that they actually lived over there.

Although some of the downtrodden behaved quite aggressively, many of them were very cooperative. They were happy to lend a helping hand and contribute in their own way to the study. They gave a detailed account of how they are mistreated by others and how they are looked down upon by other people in the society. They said that government officials and even NGOs always promise to help them, but they do not do anything at all. They also told that many a times the government announces funds to be given to them, but none of those funds reach them.

Most of them said that they are always abused and even beaten up by others and that they cannot do anything about that. They said that many a times people make them do a lot of work, but do not give any money to them in return. When I asked a young rickshaw-puller about how often has he been treated like an animal, he smiled embarrassingly and said that it happens all the time. The way he said those words really touched my heart. These people have been continuously humiliated and abused by others. It would not be an overstatement to say that their life is a living hell.

Interviewing the beggars was a big challenge, initially. It took me a lot effort to make some of them comprehend, properly, the questions that I asked. Probably their living conditions had made them incapable of having such a conversation. Like the downtrodden, the beggars also had always been humiliated by others. They told that they are always abused and at times even beaten up for very trivial matters.

The beggars used to gather at a place where they get food and other necessities from others. But, the people used to give them such things just for name sake. Usually people give beggars raw rice and pulses, but the manner in which they gave such things is extremely humiliating and disorderly. They give a fistful of either rice or pulses to each beggar. Rather than giving it to them properly and humanly, they just throw it while standing and do not even bother if it is falling in their bowl or its falling on the ground. Usually, most of it used to fall on the ground.

I was asking one of the beggars about the kind of food that he gets to eat. Immediately at the same time a woman came and threw some rice to him, out of which about three-fourth fell outside his bowl. He smiled and said that this is the kind of food that he gets.

It was nice to see a totally different side of beggars. Interacting with them made me realize that they are like any other individual. They also have families and they are also worried about the future of their children. Like any other person, they also have some unfulfilled dreams. Some of them were even cracking jokes with me. All this was something that I had never realized before about beggars.

Interacting with the physically handicapped people was a good learning experience. The way they led their life is really inspiring. They had accepted their disability without any complaints. They had a lot of self-belief and positive thinking within themselves and did not let their disability deter them in any way.

They said that they felt happy if people genuinely helped them, but did not like anybody to sympathize with their condition. They also disliked to be labeled as physically handicapped. They said that they do not really like the term and do not think of themselves as handicapped. They also said that due their disability they have to face a lot of struggle in their life, but they are prepared to fight it out even if it requires them to do so for the rest of their life.

While asking questions about their disability, I could clearly see their facial expression change to that of being a bit of disgust. I had to tell them that these are routine questions and that they should not take it in a bad way. I also apologized to them for hurting their feelings unintentionally. I felt bad when one of them said to me that my questions have made him realize that he is a physically handicapped person. But, on the whole they appreciated our (me and my colleagues) effort and felt happy for our concern towards them.

If interacting with the physically handicapped was inspiring, then interacting with the lepers was very disturbing and depressing. I had gone to a Christian Missionary hospital to interview the lepers. It was really sad to see the lepers suffering from the excruciating pain they had due to their disease. Their pain was so unbearable that almost every where, in the hospital, I could hear the patients moaning and crying.

Some of them said that they have been abandoned by their family and that nobody comes to see them. They said that now the hospital has become their home. All the lepers that I spoke to said that the pain, due to their illness, was so unbearable that they were eagerly waiting to die. Among all the patients that I talked to, I remember one of them, who was probably in his worst condition. Both his hands were infected and a lot of water was pouring out from his eyes. He could not even wipe the water that was coming out from his eyes. I could clearly see the kind of discomfort that he was going through because of this. As mentioned above, talking to the lepers was a very disturbing experience for me. I was truly badly affected by this experience for many days after.

The whole experience of interviewing the four different kind of stigmatized and marginalized people was a big eye opener for me. I always knew that such people existed. But, actually interacting with them and spending time with them was something different. I became more sensitive towards them. I could understand them in a better way and got a lot of awareness about their needs as well as the various problems that they face.

It has been more than three years now, since I worked in that research project. But, I still remember each and every detail of the happenings of that time. The anger and frustration of the downtrodden, the helplessness of the beggars, the struggle and fighting spirit of the physically handicapped, and the unbearable pain of the lepers, everything is still very clear in my mind. The whole impact that this had on me has changed me as a person to a great extent.

THE IDEAL SCHOOL ENVIRONMENT: BUILDING SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL COMPETENCE IN STUDENTS

2008-09-18T20:58:00.019+05:30

A school is a place where children and adolescents have their initial education and academic learning. It is, indeed, the place where a child receives his/her first formal education. The initial stages of life of an individual are spent in a school. A child, usually, enters school at the age of five and stays there till the age of seventeen or eighteen. This means each person begins his/her school-life at early childhood and ends it at late adolescence. Thus, the time spent by an individual in school is known to be the most critical phase of human development.

The main aim of a school is to provide education and train students for academic achievement and build their intellectual ability. The environment outside the school premises is completely different from what it is inside. A school is known for its protectiveness and discipline. An individual spends so much of his/her early as well as critical life in school that it can become difficult for him/her when he/she passes out of school and steps into the unpredictable and somewhat unsafe environment that exists outside the school.

This gives an indication that apart from focusing on academic achievement, schools should also give a lot of importance to the social and emotional competence of students in order to make him/her cope and adjust to the stressful life and deal with varied life situations once he/she moves out of school and enters to face the unpredictable world. Social and emotional competence refers to the capacity to recognize and manage emotions, solve problems effectively, and establish and maintain positive relationships with others.

Learning of social and emotional competence should be in-built within the curriculum of the school so that each and every student is able to have maximum advantage from it and by the time he/she completes school, grows into a person who is fully secure as far as personal growth and adjustment is concerned. Social and emotional competence will also be very helpful for students to overcome many of the psychological and emotional problems that they face during their time in school.

Some schools categorize students in different sections in each standard (grade) according to the academic ability and/or the intelligence quotient (IQ) of the students to develop a sense of competition and to enhance their academic achievement. Instead of this it would be much better to categorize students in different sections according to their personalities rather than academic performance or IQ. It would be much more beneficial if students with similar personalities are kept together in one section. For instance, all introverts in one section and all extroverts in the other section. Likewise, students with a high need for affiliation can be put in one section and students with low need for affiliation in the other section, etc.

This will be a very good platform to encourage healthy interaction between students. Students with similar personalities will obviously gel very well with each other and will have many common needs and interests to share among each other. Once they mix-up well among each other and thus develop good communication skills, the students can later be gradually moved in and interchanged with students of different personalities to develop a much more healthy interaction and also build the ability to interact with different kinds of people.

This will also be very helpful for many students in overcoming the problems of the feeling of being left out and being unwanted, which is known to be quite common in schools. A school is a place where students meet different fellow students and get to know each other and develop friendships. The students also form small or large groups according to their needs and interests. But, unfortunately, some students do not find themselves to be a part of any group and develop feelings of worthlessness and low self-esteem causing them to feel unwanted. This will obviously not happen if students are made to interact with other students who have similar personalities.

Therefore, keeping students with similar personalities together in one section will be very good in enhancing the emotional wellbeing of the students that will contribute in a major way in building the social and emotional competence of the students.

Schools should also hold training sessions to train students in building their Social Intelligence. Social Intelligence is the ability to act wisely in human relationships. It is the level of mastery of the particular cluster of knowledge and skills relevan to interpersonal situations. Social Intelligence involves cognitive skills and attentional control to be empathetic, sensitive, influential, inspiring, compassionate, exciting, humorous, charming, etc. in interpersonal situations.

Within Social Intelligence comes Emotional Intelligence. It is a kind of Social Intelligence. Emotional Intelligence is the ability to use our emotions in a rational and intelligent manner. It is the ability or capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships and use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions. It is about expressing our emotions in the right way, at the right moment, in the right proportion, for the right reason, and towards the right object. Emotional Intelligence involves knowing one’s emotions, managing emotions, motivating oneself, recognizing and understanding emotions in others, and handling relationships.

Social Intelligence and Emotional Intelligence are very useful in enhancing the overall personality of an individual. They can be very useful in diverse life situations and provide a lot of help in the social adjustment of individuals. Thus, the skills of Social Intelligence will obviously be of a lot of significance for students, especially if learnt from an earlier age.

Students should be discouraged in getting involved in social comparisons and the school authorities should play a big part in this. When individuals evaluate themselves by comparing them to others, then it is known as social comparison. Students generally have a habit of comparing themselves with others. This should be strictly discouraged, because each student is unique in their own way. Each student has his/her own unique strengths and abilities and they should be made to believe in them and have confidence in them.

Social comparison is an incorrect and inadequate way of evaluating oneself. When students compare themselves to others, then it can give them a negative picture about themselves. This may create some kind of confusion among the students and lead them to evaluate themselves as someone who is unworthy and may develop the feelings of inferiority complex.

A student may not be good in a certain aspect compared to the other student, but that does not mean that there is something wrong with that student. That student obviously may have some kind of ability in which he/she is extremely efficient or has the potential to be so. Students should be encouraged to believe in themselves, have their own way of thinking, use their unique abilities to move forward in life, and create their own identity rather than comparing themselves with others.

Students should be made to build a positive and high self-esteem. Self-esteem is known as the self-worth and self-evaluation of an individual. It is perhaps the most important attitude that an individual has about himself/herself. It depends on the opinion of others as well as how one perceives specific experiences. Self-esteem is a very important aspect of an individual’s personality and depending on its degree (high or low) can affect an individual’s life in many ways.

A high self-esteem has a lot of benefits and plays a big role in adjustment, emotional stability, optimism, and goal attainment. A person with high self-esteem perceives himself/herself as better, more capable, and of greater worth than does someone with low self-esteem. A high self-esteem can make student’s realize their real potential and accordingly set goals in life. It helps in developing their own interests and build-in confidence and self-belief about their abilities and about the goals that they have set for themselves.

It also makes them understand the true meaning of success and failure. Success and failure depends on what an individual gives importance to. If a student is aware about the things that are important to him/her, then he/she will use their potential in a proper manner and try to become more and more competent in things that he/she values. All this tells a lot about the significance of having a high self-esteem and this is why schools should take special care in increasing the self-esteem of students.

In schools, students should be helped to enhance their creativity. They should be encouraged to use and develop their own creative ideas. Creativity is the ability to produce something that is novel as well as useful and appropriate. The enhancement of creativity in a student can help him/her to identify their own interests and real potentials.

Creativity may not be necessarily confined to a particular task. Being creative can also be helpful in many other aspects of everyday life. A student may like to do things in his/her own unique and creative style depending on his/her own comfort level and satisfaction. Rather than forcing students to follow the old conventional style of doing particular things, it will be much better if he/she is allowed to do things on his/her own way, which in turn will make it interesting for him/her and will also lead to enhancing his/her abilities.

Creativity can also be helpful in using decision making and problem solving, regarding various aspects of one’s life, in an appropriate manner. Rather than making the same stereotypical decisions, a student may use his/her creativity and make decisions that suit him/her. In this way, a student can make important as well as appropriate decisions of his/her life regarding his/her career as well as other facets of life. Thus, creativity can be a very important factor in a student’s life and rather than being curbed, should be enhanced and encouraged among students.

There is no doubt that academic achievement and intellectual ability are very important aspects of students’ life. However, social and emotional competence enables students to use that academic and intellectual ability in an appropriate manner. There is no use of having good academic and intellectual abilities without being able to apply them appropriately.

On the other hand, students with limited academic and intellectual abilities can achieve a lot more if they have a strong social and emotional competence. Due to their social and emotional competence, they have a realization of their strengths and weaknesses and have the ability to use it pertinently throughout life. This may not really be possible with being limited to only academic and intellectual abilities.

The skills of social and emotional competence are very useful and helpful in adjustment, coping with stress, realization of real abilities and interests, goal attainment, emotional wellbeing, and satisfaction in life. Such benefits cannot be provided by academic and intellectual abilities and this is where social and emotional competence score over them. In fact, research shows that most of the times social and emotional competence is much more important than academic and intellectual abilities and is more helpful in achieving success and happiness in life.

Learning of any kind is most affective at the time of childhood and adolescence. This is why schools should take up the responsibility in providing the learning of social and emotional competence. Also, learning of such skills at an early age will train them perfectly to use it effectively in the later stages of life, when such skills will be needed the most.

A curriculum comprising of learning of academic and intellectual abilities as well as social and emotional competence is the true sense of education. When such learning is provided, in a school, to all of its students like any other form of education, then it will enable to build the ideal school environment.

ARCHITECTURE IN UTTAR PRADESH: A REFLECTION OF THE CULTURAL DEVELOPMENT

2008-08-22T18:39:00.074+05:30

The architecture of any place is a very integral part of its culture and tells a lot about its cultural development. The architecture of Uttar Pradesh, a state in India, reflects a pretty much precise picture of its cultural development throughout the past several years.

The architectural style of each era of Uttar Pradesh depicts the culture of that time. Many different styles of architecture can be found in Uttar Pradesh. There are buildings that mainly comprise of the Buddhist style, the Hindu style, the Indo-Islamic style, and the Indo-European style.

The available information about the architecture of Uttar Pradesh goes back to about ten thousand years, which belongs to the hunter-gatherer communities. The earliest structures are represented by circular-oval-square huts comprising thatched roof, based on wooden posts, reed or bamboo screens plastered with clay, rammed earthen floors and hearths. Numerous sandstone rock shelters located in the Vindhyan region, also served as naturally available shelters for these people.

During sixth-fifth centuries BC, capitals of different kingdoms developed into cities. Besides residential structures of different sections of society, these urban centres also had mud fortification of enormous width and height around them.

With the advent of Buddhism, Buddhist viharas (convents) comprising various types of structures including huts in the earlier period and well laid out brick structures having many rooms in the later periods were constructed. Many stupas were also built at that time. Initially they were elevated egg-like structures of mud, but in the subsequent period it was lined with bricks, a square harmika and a chattravali (umbrella) were constructed on the top of it, and staircases were added to reach the top.

The freestanding Ashokan pillars made of Chunar sandstone form an important landmark of Indian architecture. These pillars consisting of tapering plain circular shaft bearing inscriptions of Ashoka are famous for their lustrous polish. At the top of the shaft a magnificent capital based on an elaborately ornate abacus is placed. The abacus has been decorated with different motifs. The beautiful capitals of these pillars are formed by such animals as lion and bull. The well known Lion capital of Sarnath, which forms the national emblem of India, marks the culmination of the Ashokan art.

Pictures (from top to bottom): Ramabhar Stupa (Kushinagar), Dhamekh Stupa (Sarnath), Ashoka Pillar (Sarnath), Lion Capital of Ashoka Pillar (Sarnath)

The subsequent periods, including the Gupta period, saw a lot of religious style of architecture. Numerous temples were built. It is difficult to assign any precise date to the beginning of temple architecture on the basis of available evidence. However, it is generally believed that the first temples might have been constructed a couple of centuries before the beginning of the Christian era. An example of the plan of about 1,800 years old apsidal brick temple is known from Mathura.

The architectural wealth of Uttar Pradesh representing the next six centuries were brick and stone built temples dedicated to various deities. A good number of architectural members, sculptures and plans of these temples found at different places show that these were located in almost every part of the state.

Notable examples of temples belonging to thirteenth and fourteenth centuries are known from Varanasi and Sonebhadra. The Varanasi temple is located at Kandwa and is famous as Karmadeshwara Mahadeva. A remarkable innovation in these temples is the treatment of shikhar (upper portion) with multiple shikharikas (small shikharas) which provide an additional attraction to the structure.

This era also saw the building of many forts. Existing important forts of Kalanjara (district Banda), Chunar (district Mirzapur), and Vijaygarh (district Sonebhadra) seem to have been built in about the fourth century AD. These forts were built on the hills having steep sides and flat-top. The access to these forts is very difficult from any side. They comprise a peripheral outer masonry wall, having parapets, bastions, and gateways. The natural sources of water seem to have played a major role in the selection of sites for the construction of forts. Many palatial, religious, and other structures were built within the forts, which have been altered and reconstructed from time to time in subsequent periods.

Pictures (from top to bottom): Dasavtara Temple (Deogarh), Kashivishwanath Temple (Varanasi), Temple at Kandwa (Varanasi), Chunar Fort (Mirzapur)

The arrival of the Muslim rulers, marked by the establishment of the Sultanate period, heralded a new era of assimilation of diverse elements of art and culture. The Sultanate architecture created a possibility of assimilating new ideas, forms and techniques in Indian architecture. This gave rise to a process of a dynamic synthesis, which led to a cultural rapprochement and fusion of two diagonally opposite artistic traditions. The fusion of Islamic architectural designs with indigenous craftsmanship produced a series of architectural masterpieces in India, especially in Uttar Pradesh.

The building of mosques, tombs, palaces and cities was the favourite hobby of the Muslim rulers. The indigenous artists evinced a great level of capacity for adaptation when they had to work under Muslim patronage. As the number of foreign artists was always comparatively negligible, the Muslim rulers were obliged to depend on local artistic genius. The indigenous artists, despite adhering to the basic form of the buildings according to the directions of their Muslim patrons, could find ample scope for the introduction of some of their own ideas and standards of art and craftsmanship, which were not familiar to the ideals of Muslim art. This led to a blending of forms and thus gave the Muslim buildings of India a new look, which were quite different from similar buildings in Muslim countries outside India.

Pictures (from top to bottom): Jami Mosque (Badaun), Jami Mosque (Jaunpur), Atala Mosque (Jaunpur), Shahi Fort (Jaunpur)

The foundation of the Mughal Empire led to the most fascinating and productive era in the history of Indian architecture. The Mughal architecture was inspired by the magnificent architectural heritage of central Asia. All the great Mughals had a perennial fascination for Central Asia, and it is therefore, not surprising that the essential elements of Timurid structures of architecture find prominent place in Mughal monuments. The Timurid structures were known for their impressive scale, admirable symmetry, brightly glazed tiles as well as spacious and well laid out gardens. These can also be found in Mughal buildings as well. The legacy of the pre-Mughal architecture, the monuments built by the Sultans of Delhi, also played a significant role in the development of Mughal architecture. Notably, much of the architectural traits of the Sultanate buildings, which the Mughals subsequently used in their own monuments, namely, flat or corbelled roofs, curved brackets, deep eaves, narrow columns, chatris and motifs such as bell and chains, strings of rudraksh and torana, etc., were borrowed by the Sultanate from the pre-Turkish Hindu architecture. Mughal architecture, aptly observes Catherine Asher, was “heir to the rich traditions of both central and south Asia”. Mughal architecture was, thus, a blend of Hindu, Islamic, and Central Asian culture.

Pictures (from top to bottom): Buland Darawaza (Fatehpur Sikri), Itmad-ud-Duala’s Tomb (Agra), Akbar Fort (Allahabad), Jahangiri Mahal (inside Akbar Fort, Agra), Akbar’s Tomb (Sikandra, Agra)

It would be improper to write about the architecture of Uttar Pradesh and Mughals without writing anything about the glorious Taj Mahal. The Taj Mahal, built by Shahjahan, is the mausoleum of Shahjahan’s wife Arjuman Bano Begum (Mumtaz Mahal). The tomb is seen all over the world as the symbol of India’s civilizational attainment of the early modern period. In many ways the Taj Mahal also represents the culmination of the evolution of the Mughal style of architecture. While the main structure around it are modeled on Humayun’s tomb, its accessories – a high, red sandstone walled enclosure and the imposing gateway with beautiful calligraphy on white marble slabs - have been borrowed from Akbar’s mausoleum. The choice of the building material, the flawless white marble, and the decoration motifs in pietra dura technique are probably influenced by Itmad-ud-Daula’s tomb. The spacious garden with flowerbeds and water channels leading to the main building evoke the image of paradise on earth in the mind of the onlooker. Above all it is “the coherence and lucidity of its external architectural effects” that make the Taj Mahal the dream and delight of an architect.

Pictures (from top to bottom): The Taj Mahal, One of the Doors of the Taj Mahal, One of the four towers of the Taj Mahal, The Entrance Gate of the Taj Mahal

The arrival of the Europeans saw the emergence of a new style of architecture, the European architecture, or what is generally referred to as colonial architecture, and made a deep impact on the architectural activities of Uttar Pradesh. The influence of European architecture is clearly evident in the buildings of Allahabad, like, the University of Allahabad and the High Court. The ornamental designs of these buildings, as well as many of the buildings in Lucknow and other places in Uttar Pradesh, clearly reflect a beautiful combination of eastern and western architectural styles. The buildings of this time saw the presence of the old usual domes and towers with a modern colonial touch to them. These colonial structures are a good source to understand the patterns of synthesis between the two architectural traditions.

Pictures (from top to bottom): University of Allahabad (Allahabad), The Legislative Assembly (Lucknow), High Court (Allahabad)

The architecture in Uttar Pradesh throughout the ages shows that each era had its own unique style depending on the culture of that time. One thing that is quite noticeable is that throughout the years whenever there has been a new emerging culture, it did not in any way supersede the architectural style of the culture that preceded it. The new civilization, in fact, took instances of the previous culture and incorporated it within its own original style, and therefore, developed a completely new and different style of architecture.

The different styles of architecture in Uttar Pradesh clearly depict the cultural assimilation and amalgamation that has taken place throughout the years, right from the pre-Buddhist era. In a way, the architecture of Uttar Pradesh is a clear and concrete reflection of the cultural development that has taken place in the state of Uttar Pradesh.

ADOLESCENTS AND YOUNG ADULTS: SOME MAJOR CONCERNS THAT MAY GO UNNOTICED

2008-07-21T19:45:00.012+05:30

Adolescence and young adulthood are one of the most significant phases of an individual’s life. The impact that a person has upon himself/herself during this time may have long lasting impressions on that individual. It is this phase that may make or break an individual.

Adolescents and young adults, by and large, face many problems, such as emotional problems and problems related to adjustment, in this earlier phase of their life. This becomes troublesome when they are unable to recognize them. They know that something is wrong or improper, but they do not have much of a clue about it. They do not know what do about it or whom to talk about the things that they experience.

It is in adolescence that an individual leaves the safe environs of their home and family and go out to explore the tough, competitive and challenging outer world. During this time a good, satisfying relationship can do wonders for the person. Being in such a relationship can be very helpful in coping with many of the problems he/she may face, in more ways than one. However, due to various reasons this may not happen.

The individual maybe having problems of social skills deficits that may interfere with having an intimate relationship with his/her peers. The person may also have social anxiety, which makes him/her anxious in a social situation. Likewise, loneliness is also a major cause of concern for adolescents. Although loneliness is found among people of all age groups, it is most prevalent in adolescents and young adults. There may be some individuals who are introverts. Introversion is of course not a problem, but it can be one if the individual does not know about it and is unable to recognize the benefits that he/she can derive from being an introvert. All these issues are, in some way or the other, related to each other. This leads to a feeling of being left out or not fitting in. Due to all this, the problems of inferiority complex and depression also arise.

Unable to form relationships is obviously a big concern, but this does not mean that relationships are always good and pleasant for an individual. Many a times, people are involved in friendships and other relationships in which they may face disagreements, difference in opinions, or even certain things that may be disliked by them. If not resolved they can be really harmful for that particular relationship. Here, conflict resolution and reconciliation become very important, which the individual may be unable to do so. This may become a big hindrance in the maintenance and enhancement of a relationship, which is highly important for the overall personality of the individual.

Apart from this, the person may also get into bad company. He/she may associate himself/herself with the wrong kind of people. Rather than being satisfying, the relationship may become extremely dissatisfactory and lead to inhibiting the abilities and potential of that person.

All these problems and issues arising during adolescence, if not resolved, are carried forward into the phase of young adulthood and, thus, have a greater negative impact on their psyche. These problems, gradually, begin to eat out the person right from within. Without realizing, the person might get stuck up into these problems, which may follow him/her throughout his/her life.

These problems do not remain to themselves. They also have a deep impact on the other aspects of their life. They may badly affect the individuals’ life style as it hinders him/her in identifying his/her own interests and abilities. The collective affect of all this also becomes harmful for the education, career as well as wellbeing of the individual.

Therefore, the problems of adolescents and young adults, if not looked into properly, get exacerbated and spread out causing further disturbance to their life. These problems function as a parasite for the whole personality of the individual.

PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING: IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT GLAMOUR, GLORY, AND SUPERSTARDOM

2008-07-12T01:52:00.023+05:30

Professional wrestling, a modern form of wrestling, is known for its worldwide popularity, money, fame, and immense entertainment. This is different from the traditional style of wrestling and it focuses more on characters, costumes, drama, story lines, and rivalries that are created. Because of this, professional wrestling is not classified as a legitimate sport. It is rather known as sports-entertainment.

The tag of being a sports-entertainment has led to a lot of false beliefs and perceptions about professional wrestling. Professional wrestling has always been accused of being a fake. It is said that the wrestling matches are not real and that the wrestlers rather than being sports-persons are mere good actors. It is said that the only requirement to be a professional wrestler is to have a good physique and be good in acting. Despite its popularity, professional wrestling has also faced a lot of criticisms. At times it has been compared to a circus and the wrestlers are said to be glorified stunt-men or even clowns who perform to entertain an audience.

There is, of course, very little truth in such statements. The wrestlers do not deserve such disparaging remarks. There is, obviously, a lot more to wrestling than just a good physique and good acting. Wrestlers go through a lot of hard work and pain in order to reach the position that they are in. People fail to see beyond the fame and money involved in professional wrestling.

First and foremost, wrestling is not a fake. Instead of being a fake, it is scripted. This means that the matches are real, the moves done by wrestlers are real, but only the results are pre-decided. Many of the moves are even rehearsed before the match actually takes place in front of the live audience. The moves that wrestlers perform in the ring require extensive training, that lasts for years, to be done safely. During the matches, wrestlers do get hurt, but the moves are performed in such a way that they do not get hurt badly. The success of a wrestler depends on his wrestling skills and style, charisma, and the impact the he has on the audience.

Despite all the rehearsals and training, mistakes happen and accidents occur during some wrestling matches. Many a times the moves go wrong and lead to serious injuries to wrestlers. The most prevalent injuries include broken necks and ribs, problems in shoulders, elbows, knees and back, torn muscles, multiple concussions, and even many internal injuries. These injuries may either put them out of action for several months or may even end their career forever. Some wrestlers, due to having injuries too often have been confined to a wheel-chair forever. A few wrestlers have even died due to these injuries.

Wrestlers like Christ Benoit, Kurt Angle, and Adam Copeland (Edge) have had neck injuries more than once. Mick Foley lost his ear during a match. Shawn Michaels could not wrestle for five years due to his back injury. Steven Williams’s (Stone Cold Steve Austin) career was shortened due to his neck and knee injuries. Bret Hart was forced to retire from wrestling after he suffered from multiple concussions during a match. Owen Hart lost his life while attempting a dangerous act, when he accidentally fell from fifty feet in the air to the ground.

Wrestlers have to work throughout the year. Each wrestling show is held in different places. Due to this, wrestlers keep on traveling day in and day out. Half of their work-life is spent in an aeroplane. After traveling miles to a different place, they have to perform live, immediately, without having any rest. All this, obviously, drains them out physically. Apart from that, they constantly stay away from their family. This causes a lot of homesickness and leads to loneliness and depression.

The life style of wrestlers is very taxing. Injuries, continuous traveling, and being away from home take its toll on them, both physically and mentally. Added to that, the stress and pressure to perform in front of a live audience does not do any good to them. There is also a lot of insecurity faced by wrestlers, because it is not at all easy to reach the top. Because of all this many wrestlers suffer from serious mental problems. They mainly suffer from chronic depression and emotional instability. Some of them have to have psychological treatment and are sent to rehabilitation centers. A few wrestlers also attempt suicide. Sean Waltman (X-Pac), for instance, was known to have attempted suicide because of severe depression caused by his continuous failure in making a proper name for himself. Also, the wrestler, Mike Alfonso (Mike Awesome) died by committing suicide.

It becomes very difficult for wrestlers to cope with such a strenuous life. This forces them to get into substance abuse. The most widely used drugs by wrestlers are performance enhancing drugs, namely anabolic steroids. The initial use of steroids has a lot of positive effects, which include a feeling of being unconquerable and extremely happy. No doubt it is widely used by wrestlers. But, the continuous use of anabolic steroids has many adverse side effects. The most common side effects are extremely high blood pressure and harmful rise in the cholesterol level. Anabolic steroids also cause serious damages to the heart. It causes alterations in the structure of the heart, such as enlargement and thickening of the left ventricle, which impairs its contraction and relaxation. These alterations cause hypertension, cardiac arrhythmias, congestive heart failures, heart attack, and sudden cardiac death. These effects are, without any doubt, extremely harmful and life threatening. Many wrestlers have died due to excessive usage and an overdose of anabolic steroids and other performance enhancing drugs. For instance, the wrestlers Davey Boy Smith and Scott Bigelow (Bam Bam Bigelow) died by heart attack caused by excessive use of steroids. Similarly, Eddie Guerrero died of heart failure caused by excessive use of steroids and other drugs.

Another notable side effect of anabolic steroids is roid rage. Roid rage is known to be a very aggressive and extremely violent behaviour that results from large doses of steroids. Steroids cause serious mood and behavioural changes. The constant use results in more and more aggressive and hostile behaviour. Because of steroids, some people may also manifest symptoms of schizophrenia, mania, and deep depression. Anabolic steroids are also known to cause suicidal tendencies.

All these symptoms are found in many wrestlers. There have been quite a few incidents in which a wrestler has been involved in road-rage, brawls, and even domestic violence. Ric Fliehr (Ric Flair), for instance, has been involved in incidents of road rage. Steve Austin has been involved in assaulting his wife and even faced a lawsuit for that. Roid rage has been known to be the prime cause of such incidents. There is also the controversial case of Chris Benoit, known to be the greatest controversy of professional wrestling history, in which he murdered his wife and son and later killed himself. Reports say that he was in a highly unstable state of mind and was suffering from severe depression. Not much is known about the cause of this behaviour, but experts say that this could possibly have resulted from an excessive use of anabolic steroids and other performance enhancing drugs.

Apart from steroids, some wrestlers are also known to be involved in using other hard and soft drugs. Some are also involved in alcohol abuse. Wrestlers like Aurelian Smith (Jake the Snake Roberts), Eddie Guerrero, and Scott Hall have been notorious for their alcoholism. Eddie Guerrero has also been known to be addicted to pain killers. Scott Hall, in fact, has known to have skipped a few live events due to severe depression and emotional instability caused by alcoholism. One of the major reasons for him not being able to achieve the kind of success he deserved is because of alcohol abuse. The wrestler Mike Lockwood (Crash Holly) died due to an overdose of painkillers and Curt Henning (Mr. Perfect) died due to an overdose of cocaine. Another wrestler, Lawrence Pfohl (Lex Lugar) has been arrested for drug possession and consumption.

Although the prevalence of substance abuse has decreased in recent times, it has undeniably known to be a big menace in the life of professional wrestlers. But, wrestlers cannot be blamed for all this. A life with so many insecurities and unpredictability can take anybody to the wrong path of substance abuse. Companies like the WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) have now introduced a wellness program in which there are random doping tests as well as counseling sessions to help them cope with their miseries.

All the problems of wrestlers, which include substance abuse as well as psychological and various other problems, prove to be very fatal and cause a lot of unnatural deaths. The average age of death of wrestlers is between the mid forties and early fifties. The death rate of wrestlers at a relatively young age is truly alarming.

It is evident that the life style of wrestlers is not what it seems to be. Apart from the fame and money, professional wrestling has a very dark side to it. The alluring life style of professional wrestling is marred by frequent injuries, substance abuse, and other psychological problems.

Professional wrestling may not be a legitimate sport, but it is definitely an art. It is an art that is extremely difficult to learn and requires a lot of skill and courage. It is not at all easy to become a wrestler. The kind of mental trauma that wrestlers go through, is heart warming. They make a lot of sacrifices to entertain their audience.

Contrary to popular belief, there is a lot more to wrestling than just the glamour, glory, bling-bling, and superstardom. Professional wrestlers, truly, deserve a lot more respect than they usually get. They should get a lot more credit for the things that they do.

ALIENS: A MYTH OR REALITY?

2008-06-30T13:57:00.023+05:30

The mystery and doubts about extra-terrestrial life has been creating a lot of curiosity for quite some time. This has led to a lot of speculation as well as scientific investigation, but the questions still remain unanswered.

It all began with the 1947 incident of Roswell, New Mexico, when a UFO (Unidentified Flying Object) was believed to have crashed on earth. According to the FBI, debris of the UFO and three dead bodies of aliens were supposedly discovered. The US government, obviously, concealed many of the facts, thus leaving this incident to remain a mystery. Although there are supposed to be quite a few UFO sightings even before this incident, it is this that began the sudden upsurge of questions about aliens and extra-terrestrial life.

Though the upsurge of alien investigation began after the 1947 incident, there have been many occurrences throughout life that in some way or the other indicate or give hints of the existence of aliens. Some of the happenings have been as early as thousands and hundreds of years ago, which tells us that aliens might have been here much before than we had actually thought.

One of the most intriguing evidences of existence of aliens has been found in human evolution. The human species of Homo neanderthalensis or Neanderthals were far more superior in intelligence and adaptability compared to their predecessors, the Homo erectus. The Neanderthals were quite similar to the Homo sapiens. Some paleanthropologists and anthropologists believe that this change is not a natural process and that some kind of mutation was involved in the evolution from the Homo erectus to the Neanderthals. The Neanderthals came into existence about 250, 000 years ago. According to some of the paleanthropologists and anthropologists, aliens had come to earth at that time and transferred their genes into the existing humans and thus caused them to evolve into new, intelligent, and far more superior human beings.

Another very much intriguing indication of the existence of aliens, are the great pyramids of Egypt. The ancient Egyptian civilization was established in the 3rd millennium BC, specifically around 3150 BC. The great pyramid of Giza was believed to be completed around 2560 BC. The other Egyptian pyramids were also believed to be built somewhere in the 26th century BC. The pyramids were built by huge pieces of blocks of stone with each block weighing about 2-3 tonnes. The pyramids were also built with a great amount of accuracy. The walls of all the pyramids are perfect equilateral triangles, i.e. each angle is of exactly 60 degrees. Each angle even inside of all the pyramids is of exactly 60 degrees. Although there are many theories of how the pyramids were built, it seems to be almost impossible that they were built by humans. It is hard to believe that humans in such an ancient era, without any advanced technology, built the pyramids with such huge blocks of stone and that too with so much accuracy.There seems to be some kind of technology used to build them. This gives an indication that the ancient Egyptians might have got a helping hand from a superior and much advanced species, which could be aliens. There is a strong possibility that aliens had come to Earth and helped them, for whatever reason, in building the pyramids.

There is a lot of art work on the walls inside the pyramids. Among all these works, the most amazing thing to be found is drawings of electric bulbs and electric wires. This shows that there is a possibility that the electric bulb was invented much before Thomas Edison, which is again very hard to believe. It is very dark inside the pyramids, therefore, it is very obvious that the ancient Egyptians used some kind of light for all the art work. The more logical method would seem to be the use of fire by burning charcoal. But, if this is so, then there must be a lot of black marks of burnt charcoal all over inside the pyramids. Amazingly, there are no black marks to be found inside the pyramids. This strengthens the possibility of the use of electricity by the ancient Egyptians. Again it seems to be impossible for people of an ancient era to use electricity. This also gives an indication of the existence of a superior species, probably aliens, at that time. It could be possible that aliens at that time had come and used their advanced technology to help them in building the pyramids and making the art work inside the pyramids. It maybe hard to believe this, but it is equally hard to believe that the ancient Egyptians had some advanced technology.

The ancient Maya civilization, established around 1800 BC, also gives some indication of the existence of aliens. The Mayans believed that their Gods lived in the sky and came down to interact with them and help them in solving their problems. It could be that these so-called Gods were aliens. It is possible that aliens used to come and interact with them. Due to their far superiority, the Mayans could have believed them to be Gods rather than aliens.

The cave drawings of the ancient Mayans are quite mysterious. In the caves there are drawings of figures that resemble UFOs. It cannot be mere imagination, because human imagination is based on something. At a time when even the wheel was not invented, it does not seem to be possible that Mayans imagined figures like UFOs without any reference. They might have obviously seen something like it and then drew it in their caves. Their caves also depict drawings of alien-like figures and figures resembling space-men.

The remains of the Nazca culture that flourished between 800 BC and 300 AD also gives an indication of existence of aliens. Archaeologists have found a runway kind of structure for aircrafts near the remains and believe that it was built in that time itself. It is obvious that if that is a runway for aircrafts it was in no way built and used by the people of the Nazca culture. Possibly, it was built by aliens and they used it to come down to Earth.

It is also believed that the famous Nazca lines, geoglyphs created by the Nazca people, had something to do with aliens. The Nazca lines comprise of many figures that include simple lines as well as figures like humming birds, spiders, monkeys, fish, sharks, llamas, lizards, and a strange image of two large hands. The lines are so enormous that they cannot be seen from the ground. They can only be seen from a much higher place. They range in size from 16.8 to 238 yards (a football field is 100 yards). There seem to be many reasons for these to be created, one of them being religion. It is believed that these lines were created so that the Gods that lived in the sky could notice them and help them in their problems. Probably, they were sending some kind of message to aliens whom they believed to be Gods. It is possible that aliens used to interact with the Nazca people and during some kind of crisis they might have created the Nazca lines in order to call them back and help them out in their crisis.

All these occurrences have been in the past, about thousands of years ago, and this makes it difficult to prove them. Nothing much can be said about these evidences. But one thing is for sure that it is hard to deny them. Some archaeologists say that these evidences are so intriguing and good enough that the only way to disprove them is that if aliens themselves come and say that they were not here at that time.

Even today, we have come to know about many occurrences that give an indication of the existence of aliens. The most common of such occurrences are UFO sightings. UFOs are believed to be flying objects or spaceships in which aliens travel in space. There have been innumerable UFO sightings all over the world. Many people claim to have video clippings as well as still photographs of UFOs. Some of them have proved to be a hoax, but a lot of them seem to be authentic. There have been times when people from different countries have seen the same UFO at the same time. Some pilots have also claimed to have had close encounters with UFOs. They say that during such encounters they lose all their radio signals and when they attempt to track it, the UFO suddenly disappears. Even NASA claims to have videos of UFOs that were taken in outer space.

Perhaps the most convincing evidences of aliens are crop circles. Crop circles are huge geometric patterns that are made on fields. These geometric patterns are as large as a football field. The most amazing thing about them is that these patterns, despite being extremely large, are very accurate and are made in the span of just one night. There have been times that a crop circle has been made by a large group of people in order to prove that they are just pranks and have nothing to do with aliens. But, it is easy to differentiate between crop circles made by humans and the ones supposedly made by aliens. Firstly, the ones made by humans are not even close to the ones believed to be made by aliens, when it comes to accuracy and finesse. Secondly, and more importantly, when humans make crop circles, the crops get scattered all over. Whereas, in the ones believed to be made by aliens, the crops are flattened in a systematic manner.

It is believed that crop circles are made by the magnetic waves that come out from UFOs. Nobody really knows the purpose of crop circles. Some believe that they are made to give directions to UFOs. Others believe that they are some kind of abstract message by aliens to humans. There are others who feel that crop circles are just a way of aliens to tell humans that they exist.

The stories of alien abduction also tell a lot about the existence of aliens. There are people who claim that they have been abducted by aliens and that aliens have performed experiments on them. Skeptics argue that all these stories are made up. According to them these stories are either blatant lies or just a result of their imagination. They also say that such people have dreams in which they are abducted by aliens and that they get so much affected by it that they feel that the incident has actually occurred. However, there is so much clarity in the description of such stories that they seem to be true. Also, there is a striking similarity in the description of all the abduction stories, no matter which part of the world the individual belongs to. There are too much of similarities in the description of the way in which they were abducted, the ambience, and the things that aliens do to them. Such similarities between the experiences of people belonging to different countries cannot be just a coincidence. In USA there are many clubs for people who believe that they have been abducted by aliens. In these clubs they share their experiences to each other and in doing so they try to lessen their fearfulness and trauma that they go through while being abducted.

All these happenings, from the past till today, clearly show that there is something out there. Although these evidences give a good indication about the existence of aliens, somehow they are not conclusive enough. The evidences make us think that probably they exist, but nothing has yet been there that fully convinces us about their presence. Maybe the aliens themselves do not want us to be convinced about their existence and they might be playing the game of hide and seek with us humans, for reasons unknown.

Whether or not there is any concluding evidence, it is hard to imagine that Earth is the only planet that has life. Space has no limit and Earth is like a dust particle when compared to it. It cannot be that Earth is the only place in the entire cosmos where life exists.

It could also be that aliens are humans of the future. Millions of years ago, humans lived only in Africa. Gradually, due to human evolution, they moved out and spread in all parts of the Earth. It is quite possible that human evolution does not stop here. Maybe, in the future, humans further evolve and spread in outer space. They might be living many light years away and due to their advancement in technology they might be able to travel through time and come back to the past to have a look at their ancestors.

No one knows when the mystery of the existence of aliens is going to be solved. Nobody knows whether or not the mystery will ever be solved. But one thing is for sure that there are evidences that clearly give us an indication of the existence of aliens. These evidences may not completely prove their existence, but they are certainly not false and are good enough to believe. It is up to the individual to either believe the evidences that are there right now or wait until there is stronger evidence that give us undeniable proofs. Time will definitely give answers to all the questions and help in unraveling the mystery of aliens. Probably, one day aliens will themselves come and tell us about their existence. Then, there will be no other alternative than to believe that aliens do exist.

PS: To read more about aliens and extra-terrestrial life, refer to my article, Alien Abduction or False Memory Syndrome?

INDIVIDUAL DIFFERENCES AND ACADEMIC ASSESSMENT

2008-06-14T09:18:00.011+05:30

Each person is different from the other. The most widely accepted definition of personality is that personality is a collection of relatively stable and enduring thoughts, feelings, and behaviour patterns that are unique to the individual. Alfred Adler believed in the unique motivations of human beings and the importance of each individual’s niche in society. Gordon Allport laid emphasis on individualism and according to him human behaviour should be studied using methods that take into account the uniqueness of each person. Howard Gardner, in his theory of Multiple Intelligences, says that each individual has their own kind of intelligence and that people may differ in their abilities from one another. According to him, if one person is strong in a particular ability it is not necessary that the other person will also have similar strengths in that ability, because the other person may be as good or better as that in some other ability.

All this indicates that each individual is different from the other and that every individual should be treated in a different manner. But, surprisingly, this well-documented fact is ignored when it comes to academic assessment. Academic assessment is done without keeping individual differences in mind.

In schools, colleges, universities, and other institutes there are a few limited methods in which students are academically assessed. The most common ones are written examinations and classroom discussions. These are the methods in which academic assessment is usually done. But, depending on the individual differences and personality of the students, each and every student may differ in their performance on these methods of assessment, irrespective of their knowledge and preparation of their subject matter. If a particular method of assessment suits the personality of the student, then he/she may perform well in it. If it does not then, it becomes difficult to be up to the mark for that student.

The written examinations, depending on the institution, are taken by the students monthly, yearly, and even weekly at some places. Many a times, a student being well prepared, well versed, and having enough knowledge in that subject matter may not perform well and thus, is not assessed properly. One of the reasons for his/her bad performance can be test anxiety. Before the examination, the student might get nervous, very anxious, and completely stressed out. Because of this, the student forgets everything that he/she has learned and does not do well in the examination. Another reason could be that the student has a slow writing speed. The student may know each and every answer, but because of his/her slow writing speed he/she does not do well in the examination. Because of the slow writing speed, the student does not get enough time and thus might either be unable to write all the answers or may not be able to write all the answers properly as he/she could have, which, ultimately, effects the performance in the examination in a negative manner. This becomes a problem for that individual, because despite being good enough, he/she is not assessed as a good student. This is inequitable from the student’s perspective. There is nothing wrong with the student. It is only that his/her personality does not suit that particular method of assessment.

On the other hand, there may be students who perform very well in written examinations, irrespective of their knowledge in the subject matter. There are times when a student, comparatively, may not be knowledgeable enough, but still he/she may perform well in it. This is because the student has the ability to write good answers. The answers written by him/her are exactly according to the requirements of the written examination. Here, again, it is only that the individual is good in writing in examinations that he/she performs well. Another student, as mentioned above, may have equal or more knowledge, but still does not perform well.

It is quite clear that performance in written examinations depends on the individual differences between students rather than knowledge and learning. A student suitable for written examinations does well in it and a student not suitable for written examinations does not do well in it, and is thus assessed as a good student and a bad student respectively. There are very few students who are both knowledgeable and good in writing in examinations. Similarly, there are very few students who are both less knowledgeable as well as do not perform well in written examinations.

The other method of assessing students academically is classroom discussions. In classroom discussions, students are given an opportunity to have discussions on a particular topic. This proves to be quite beneficial as it encourages teacher-student interaction and also an interaction among the students. The students are assessed on the basis of their performance in these classroom discussions. However, some students may not benefit from this method of assessment. It may, in fact, prove to be a hindrance for them. There are many students who might know a lot about the particular subject matter being discussed, but still may not perform well in it. Some students may not have the confidence to express their views and opinions. There are students who are shy and hesitate while speaking in a group. There may be other students who may have social anxiety, which means they get anxious in social situations. Due to this, they might hesitate to speak and thus be unable to actively participate in these discussions. Being unable to actively participate and hesitant to speak does in no way mean that they do not know anything. They may be quite intelligent and knowledgeable, but still do not perform well enough. This again leads them to be assessed as a below average student, which may not exactly be right.

But, there are also students who are very good in speaking and have very good communication skills. These students may be having a limited knowledge on the subject matter, but perform well in classroom discussions. Their good communication skills help them to perform well, despite their comparatively lesser knowledge. These individuals are assessed as good students on the basis of their performance and the fact that their personality very well suits the method of assessment. Like the written examinations, here also, there are very few students who are equally knowledgeable and good in communication skills. Likewise, there are very few students who are both less knowledgeable as well as do not perform well in group discussions.

This shows that the two most common and widely used methods of academic assessment are improper in their own right. Academic assessment should be done keeping in mind the individual differences between the students. One thing that can be done is that there should be such a method of assessment in which the individual differences do not play a part in assessing the student. Another thing that could be done is to assess each student by a different method. The method of academic assessment should be according to the personality of each student. Also, the student should be academically assessed only if he/she suits that particular method of assessment.

This may seem to be impractical and implausible, but it is definitely the right thing to do as far as academic assessment is concerned. Academic assessment is something that plays a very important role in a student’s life. The academic assessment of a student helps in motivating him/her and is also related to a student’s self-esteem. Apart from that, it also has a big part in configuring a student’s career orientation and other related goals in life.

A lot is at stake when it comes to academic assessment. Keeping this in mind, it seems to be very unfair for an individual who is assessed as a poor or below average student only because his/her personality does not suit the method of academic assessment. Each and every student has the right to be assessed in a proper manner. It is absolutely unreasonable that a student suffers only because of a drawback in a particular method of academic assessment.

RELIGION: MINE BETTER THAN YOURS?

2008-05-31T23:00:00.026+05:30

If we look back in time one of the main reasons for which people have been fighting among each other, have been involved in endless and merciless killings, and for which there seems to be a never ending acrimony, is religion.

Religion has always been an integral part of human beings. It is believed that the earliest Homo-sapiens also had some kind of religious beliefs. Of course, as time went by many religious beliefs emerged and now there are so many religions in the world that it has even become difficult to count and name all of them.

History is witness to the various religious enmities that have occurred. Be it Jews-Christians, Jews-Muslims, Muslims-Christians, Hindu-Christians, Hindu-Muslims, Muslims-Sikhs, or Hindu-Sikhs. All this hostility has led to a lot of killings, including people who were not even part of this callousness. Some incidents of religious violence come immediately to the mind and shed greater light. First, there were the Crusades, religious wars between Christians and Muslims, in which Christians attacked and tormented a large number of Muslims while trying to capture land where Christianity had originated and in doing so crossed the limits of cruelty causing conflicts between Christianity and Islam. Then there was the infamous Holocaust, in which Hitler due to his fanaticism, slaughtered many Jews and drove them away from Germany. There were also the post Indian independence riots between Hindus and Muslims, where people from both groups brutalized and decimated each other. There was also the incident of Kashmir in which the Muslim extremists harassed and drove away the Kashmiri Pundits from Kashmir and forcibly made them to live in refugee camps in Delhi and lead a miserable life. More recently, the 9/11 attacks of Osama Bin Laden’s men on the World Trade Center in New York, known as the greatest terrorist attack till date, killed thousands of innocent people in a day. There was also the brutal incident in which a group of VHP activists burnt alive the Australian priest Graham Steins and his two sons. Finally, there were the unforgettable Mumbai and Gujarat riots, in which thousands of Muslims were massacred by Hindu fundamentalists. It is true that only a smaller section of the society has been involved in such incidents, but it cannot be denied that it has had adverse affects on the larger section of the society.

No religion preaches to its followers to disrespect other religions and use violence towards others who are from a different religion. One of the reasons that this kind of behavior results from, is the belief of “mine better than yours”. People have these thoughts and beliefs that their religion is better than the others and use violence and rancorousness in trying to prove it. They may not agree with certain beliefs, ideas, or issues of a particular religion. This leads to pointing out flaws and thus, questioning and criticizing other religions. These questions and criticisms are baseless, because most of the times they do not even know much about the other religions. Many a times they do not even know much about their own religion, let alone knowing about others. If there is a lack of knowledge about the other religions, then there is no point in criticizing them. It is rather illogical to indulge in such criticisms. It is these baseless criticisms that give rise to conflicts, which lead to extreme steps of violence.

The lack of knowledge of other religions, in fact, is in itself the prime cause that gives rise to such criticisms. Before making any kind of criticisms about a particular religion, the best thing that one can do is to try to find out about that religion and try to know that why is that religion endorsing a particular belief. There must obviously be some reason and some kind of logic behind certain beliefs of any religion. Rather than criticizing them, a more logical action seems to trying to find out the reason behind it.

The best way to know about different religions is to read the religious scriptures, books, and try to know more about it from other reliable sources. This includes reading about one’s own religion also. Reading them as religious beliefs of different religions is just one perspective of doing so. Instead of religious beliefs, they can also be read as philosophy, history, and science. In this way a lot more interest can be generated. A little care should also be taken while knowing about the other religions from different sources other than the scriptures and books. All of the religions were formed years ago. Because of this many things have been twisted, turned, and thus misinterpreted. A lot of people follow certain beliefs blindly, without knowing about them and therefore, give out a wrong message to others who belong to different religions. Hence, knowledge is necessary, but there should also be a little care and caution while gaining that knowledge.

The more we know about different religions the better it is. This will help people in getting a much better understanding about the other religions. Understanding the views and ideas of other religions will also enable a certain level of respect for them, and might help to reduce the insanity that people have towards different religions.

Religion was not at all formed with the intention of spreading hate and involving people into violence. Religion, even remotely, should have nothing to do with the attitude of “mine better than yours”. Each religion, obviously, differs from the other in its customs, rituals, traditions, and practices. This in no way gives any indication that one religion is better than the other. All religions are equal. The ways of expression may be different, but on the whole all the religions, by and large, have the same things to say.

The sole purpose of each religion is to spread peace and love towards humanity. This is what religion is all about and this is what it should be. The need of a religion can be debatable. But, religion has been here for quite some time and it does not seem that it will fade away easily, at least in the near future. It is, therefore, better to know about, understand, and respect each and every religion. This will definitely help people to abstain from violence in the name of religion. Violence and religion do not go hand in hand. Violence in the name of religion is a big “NO”. When it comes to religion, the attitude of “mine better than yours” is fallacious and completely nonsensical.

LONELINESS: A HARBINGER TO ALONENESS

2008-05-27T10:10:00.018+05:30

There is a general belief that loneliness and aloneness are the same. But, in actual there is a marked difference between the two. Loneliness is felt due to the dissatisfaction with the quality of one’s current relationships and it is a desire to develop good, intimate relationships, which becomes unable to attain. It is more of an unpleasant state. Aloneness, on the other hand, is a lack of friendships. The individual does not have any friends or may not desire to be in long-lasting relationships.

Loneliness is basically of two types – state loneliness and trait loneliness. State loneliness is temporary and depends on the situation that the person is involved in. For example, a person might go to a new place and not be very familiar with it or a person might take up a new job. In such a situation, an individual might initially feel lonely, but build good relationships later. Trait loneliness is more stable and enduring. The inherent traits of the person become a cause for his/her loneliness, which needless to say is a miserable condition. The situation does not make any difference to a person with trait loneliness. He/she will feel lonely in a familiar as well as an unfamiliar situation.

It is possible that an individual who experiences state loneliness too often might develop trait loneliness. This may happen, if a person does not stay or live at one place for a long period of time. For instance, a young boy or girl, due to various reasons, might have to study in many different schools. The same may happen to a person who has a transferable job or has work that requires him/her to travel a lot. Such an individual might not be able to build intimate relationships, for obvious reasons. This happening regularly will habituate him/her to feel lonely. Thus, state loneliness may develop into trait loneliness.

A lonely individual is melancholic. If loneliness is prolonged and it persists for a longer period of time, then this melancholy is exacerbated. This leads to behaviour patterns that might seem to be weird and eccentric to others, which in turn, may lead to social rejection. For example, an individual, due to the feeling of extreme loneliness, knowingly or unknowingly, might get into self-pity and try to gain sympathy. The person may also behave in an indifferent manner to seek attention. Such kind of behaviour might not be liked by many of his/her peers and might lead to shunning the individual. The person gets into a precarious situation, where he/she is unable to build new relationships and also drives away the current ones. All this happens only during extreme loneliness and not otherwise. This, therefore, results into social isolation. The initial stages of social isolation mark the beginning of aloneness. In this way, loneliness, especially trait loneliness, becomes a harbinger to aloneness.

Although social isolation may be the beginning of aloneness, it does not really mean that the person becomes socially withdrawn. The person might not socialize very much with people, but still be socially active, which on the whole is very different from being socially withdrawn or detached.

A person might also deliberately prefer aloneness. But this decision is also influenced by prolonged loneliness and earlier dissatisfaction in relationships. Therefore, a personal choice of aloneness is also caused by experiencing extreme loneliness.

Here, I would like to state that aloneness should not be used interchangeably with solitude. Solitude may be a very temporary phase that may last for a few minutes, hours, or a few days. Solitude has very little to do with defining the personality of the individual and is, most of the times, preferred by the individual. However, aloneness is a more permanent phase and has a lot to do in defining the personality of the individual. After being in a solitary state for a while, the person may go back to being in his normal state, i.e. the way he/she usually behaves. However, this is not the case with aloneness.

Aloneness can be both good and bad. Aloneness can be seen in two ways – negative state of aloneness and positive state of aloneness. In aloneness, if a person gets into severe depression, experiences low self-esteem, and feels a certain kind of worthlessness, then this comprises of the negative state of aloneness. The individual in this state diminishes his/her abilities and is unable to recognize his/her positive attributes. If this persists, the person might even develop suicidal tendencies.

On the other hand, an individual might also take aloneness as an opportunity to enhance himself/herself. The person might set up new challenges for himself/herself, he/she might enhance his/her abilities, and sharpen his/her skills. The person gets an opportunity to know himself/herself in a much better way and thus, gets to recognize his/her true abilities. All this comprises the positive state of aloneness. In this state, the individual builds in self-confidence, increases his/her self-esteem, and develops a certain kind of self-belief within himself/herself. For instance, a person, during aloneness, might get into activities that require a lot of creativity. The person might get into extensive reading and increase his/her knowledge as well as develop new insights. A person might also suddenly discover an urge to write and might get a lot of success in doing so. The person might enjoy the state of aloneness. In all, a completely new kind of person emerges through. In this way, aloneness can be a good thing.

Positive state of aloneness is not a continuity of negative state of aloneness. Both of them are not related and may not be experienced by the same person. Who gets into the negative state of aloneness and who gets into the positive state of aloneness depends solely on the individual.

Therefore, loneliness and aloneness, though being different, are very much related to each other. Aloneness can be said to be the next stage of loneliness. In other words, loneliness is a harbinger to aloneness. But unlike loneliness, aloneness may not necessarily be a miserable or sad condition.

PS: To read more about loneliness and related concepts, refer to my articles, When Trait and State Loneliness Come Together and Loneliness: The Role that it Plays on a Student's Academic Performance