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RELIGION: MINE BETTER THAN YOURS?

If we look back in time one of the main reasons for which people have been fighting among each other, have been involved in endless and merciless killings, and for which there seems to be a never ending acrimony, is religion.

Religion has always been an integral part of human beings. It is believed that the earliest Homo-sapiens also had some kind of religious beliefs. Of course, as time went by many religious beliefs emerged and now there are so many religions in the world that it has even become difficult to count and name all of them.

History is witness to the various religious enmities that have occurred. Be it Jews-Christians, Jews-Muslims, Muslims-Christians, Hindu-Christians, Hindu-Muslims, Muslims-Sikhs, or Hindu-Sikhs. All this hostility has led to a lot of killings, including people who were not even part of this callousness. Some incidents of religious violence come immediately to the mind and shed greater light. First, there were the Crusades, religious wars between Christians and Muslims, in which Christians attacked and tormented a large number of Muslims while trying to capture land where Christianity had originated and in doing so crossed the limits of cruelty causing conflicts between Christianity and Islam. Then there was the infamous Holocaust, in which Hitler due to his fanaticism, slaughtered many Jews and drove them away from Germany. There were also the post Indian independence riots between Hindus and Muslims, where people from both groups brutalized and decimated each other. There was also the incident of Kashmir in which the Muslim extremists harassed and drove away the Kashmiri Pundits from Kashmir and forcibly made them to live in refugee camps in Delhi and lead a miserable life. More recently, the 9/11 attacks of Osama Bin Laden’s men on the World Trade Center in New York, known as the greatest terrorist attack till date, killed thousands of innocent people in a day. There was also the brutal incident in which a group of VHP activists burnt alive the Australian priest Graham Steins and his two sons. Finally, there were the unforgettable Mumbai and Gujarat riots, in which thousands of Muslims were massacred by Hindu fundamentalists. It is true that only a smaller section of the society has been involved in such incidents, but it cannot be denied that it has had adverse affects on the larger section of the society.

No religion preaches to its followers to disrespect other religions and use violence towards others who are from a different religion. One of the reasons that this kind of behavior results from, is the belief of “mine better than yours”. People have these thoughts and beliefs that their religion is better than the others and use violence and rancorousness in trying to prove it. They may not agree with certain beliefs, ideas, or issues of a particular religion. This leads to pointing out flaws and thus, questioning and criticizing other religions. These questions and criticisms are baseless, because most of the times they do not even know much about the other religions. Many a times they do not even know much about their own religion, let alone knowing about others. If there is a lack of knowledge about the other religions, then there is no point in criticizing them. It is rather illogical to indulge in such criticisms. It is these baseless criticisms that give rise to conflicts, which lead to extreme steps of violence.

The lack of knowledge of other religions, in fact, is in itself the prime cause that gives rise to such criticisms. Before making any kind of criticisms about a particular religion, the best thing that one can do is to try to find out about that religion and try to know that why is that religion endorsing a particular belief. There must obviously be some reason and some kind of logic behind certain beliefs of any religion. Rather than criticizing them, a more logical action seems to trying to find out the reason behind it.

The best way to know about different religions is to read the religious scriptures, books, and try to know more about it from other reliable sources. This includes reading about one’s own religion also. Reading them as religious beliefs of different religions is just one perspective of doing so. Instead of religious beliefs, they can also be read as philosophy, history, and science. In this way a lot more interest can be generated. A little care should also be taken while knowing about the other religions from different sources other than the scriptures and books. All of the religions were formed years ago. Because of this many things have been twisted, turned, and thus misinterpreted. A lot of people follow certain beliefs blindly, without knowing about them and therefore, give out a wrong message to others who belong to different religions. Hence, knowledge is necessary, but there should also be a little care and caution while gaining that knowledge.

The more we know about different religions the better it is. This will help people in getting a much better understanding about the other religions. Understanding the views and ideas of other religions will also enable a certain level of respect for them, and might help to reduce the insanity that people have towards different religions.

Religion was not at all formed with the intention of spreading hate and involving people into violence. Religion, even remotely, should have nothing to do with the attitude of “mine better than yours”. Each religion, obviously, differs from the other in its customs, rituals, traditions, and practices. This in no way gives any indication that one religion is better than the other. All religions are equal. The ways of expression may be different, but on the whole all the religions, by and large, have the same things to say.

The sole purpose of each religion is to spread peace and love towards humanity. This is what religion is all about and this is what it should be. The need of a religion can be debatable. But, religion has been here for quite some time and it does not seem that it will fade away easily, at least in the near future. It is, therefore, better to know about, understand, and respect each and every religion. This will definitely help people to abstain from violence in the name of religion. Violence and religion do not go hand in hand. Violence in the name of religion is a big “NO”. When it comes to religion, the attitude of “mine better than yours” is fallacious and completely nonsensical.
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LONELINESS: A HARBINGER TO ALONENESS

There is a general belief that loneliness and aloneness are the same. But, in actual there is a marked difference between the two. Loneliness is felt due to the dissatisfaction with the quality of one’s current relationships and it is a desire to develop good, intimate relationships, which becomes unable to attain. It is more of an unpleasant state. Aloneness, on the other hand, is a lack of friendships. The individual does not have any friends or may not desire to be in long-lasting relationships.

Loneliness is basically of two types – state loneliness and trait loneliness. State loneliness is temporary and depends on the situation that the person is involved in. For example, a person might go to a new place and not be very familiar with it or a person might take up a new job. In such a situation, an individual might initially feel lonely, but build good relationships later. Trait loneliness is more stable and enduring. The inherent traits of the person become a cause for his/her loneliness, which needless to say is a miserable condition. The situation does not make any difference to a person with trait loneliness. He/she will feel lonely in a familiar as well as an unfamiliar situation.

It is possible that an individual who experiences state loneliness too often might develop trait loneliness. This may happen, if a person does not stay or live at one place for a long period of time. For instance, a young boy or girl, due to various reasons, might have to study in many different schools. The same may happen to a person who has a transferable job or has work that requires him/her to travel a lot. Such an individual might not be able to build intimate relationships, for obvious reasons. This happening regularly will habituate him/her to feel lonely. Thus, state loneliness may develop into trait loneliness.

A lonely individual is melancholic. If loneliness is prolonged and it persists for a longer period of time, then this melancholy is exacerbated. This leads to behaviour patterns that might seem to be weird and eccentric to others, which in turn, may lead to social rejection. For example, an individual, due to the feeling of extreme loneliness, knowingly or unknowingly, might get into self-pity and try to gain sympathy. The person may also behave in an indifferent manner to seek attention. Such kind of behaviour might not be liked by many of his/her peers and might lead to shunning the individual. The person gets into a precarious situation, where he/she is unable to build new relationships and also drives away the current ones. All this happens only during extreme loneliness and not otherwise. This, therefore, results into social isolation. The initial stages of social isolation mark the beginning of aloneness. In this way, loneliness, especially trait loneliness, becomes a harbinger to aloneness.

Although social isolation may be the beginning of aloneness, it does not really mean that the person becomes socially withdrawn. The person might not socialize very much with people, but still be socially active, which on the whole is very different from being socially withdrawn or detached.

A person might also deliberately prefer aloneness. But this decision is also influenced by prolonged loneliness and earlier dissatisfaction in relationships. Therefore, a personal choice of aloneness is also caused by experiencing extreme loneliness.

Here, I would like to state that aloneness should not be used interchangeably with solitude. Solitude may be a very temporary phase that may last for a few minutes, hours, or a few days. Solitude has very little to do with defining the personality of the individual and is, most of the times, preferred by the individual. However, aloneness is a more permanent phase and has a lot to do in defining the personality of the individual. After being in a solitary state for a while, the person may go back to being in his normal state, i.e. the way he/she usually behaves. However, this is not the case with aloneness.

Aloneness can be both good and bad. Aloneness can be seen in two ways – negative state of aloneness and positive state of aloneness. In aloneness, if a person gets into severe depression, experiences low self-esteem, and feels a certain kind of worthlessness, then this comprises of the negative state of aloneness. The individual in this state diminishes his/her abilities and is unable to recognize his/her positive attributes. If this persists, the person might even develop suicidal tendencies.

On the other hand, an individual might also take aloneness as an opportunity to enhance himself/herself. The person might set up new challenges for himself/herself, he/she might enhance his/her abilities, and sharpen his/her skills. The person gets an opportunity to know himself/herself in a much better way and thus, gets to recognize his/her true abilities. All this comprises the positive state of aloneness. In this state, the individual builds in self-confidence, increases his/her self-esteem, and develops a certain kind of self-belief within himself/herself. For instance, a person, during aloneness, might get into activities that require a lot of creativity. The person might get into extensive reading and increase his/her knowledge as well as develop new insights. A person might also suddenly discover an urge to write and might get a lot of success in doing so. The person might enjoy the state of aloneness. In all, a completely new kind of person emerges through. In this way, aloneness can be a good thing.

Positive state of aloneness is not a continuity of negative state of aloneness. Both of them are not related and may not be experienced by the same person. Who gets into the negative state of aloneness and who gets into the positive state of aloneness depends solely on the individual.

Therefore, loneliness and aloneness, though being different, are very much related to each other. Aloneness can be said to be the next stage of loneliness. In other words, loneliness is a harbinger to aloneness. But unlike loneliness, aloneness may not necessarily be a miserable or sad condition.


PS: To read more about loneliness and related concepts, refer to my articles, When Trait and State Loneliness Come Together and Loneliness: The Role that it Plays on a Student's Academic Performance